Zombiepoca? e
20070511
&? ;May 11, 2007
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I? at Chris and Mindy's house, relaxin the back porch with some people. Candie? there as well, but she, Mindy, Chris, a? his other woman ? ? appearin? ? mably to? high.There were kid? imming in the pool, but ? ? ? ? is and M? 's. ? ? e th? her woman's. The? ere three in all--the ol? ? a blond? ? ball of a girl, ? years old, the youn? ? a dark-? ed boy, ? t 7, and in the midd? as a? otic? ? ? ive young woman of 17.
When I got back to the bazillio? e dad, I asked him a? ? ? ghter's change i? ? de. ? aid, "Well, when we lived in? is, she was ? fine. It wa? ? ? e moved here that sh? ddenly changed. Why?? />
So I said, "Well, I thi? omeh? ? hole point of this dream is to f? ? t why she's the way she is, so I? wondering if you could give me some? ? ? o that." He laughed, clapped me ? ? houlder, and said, "I can do precisely dick.? can, however, ask her," and he turned me back into Chris and Mindy's porch, this ti? ith the ? ear-old girl? ting at the table, her left side facing me, her face limned in blue-gree? ilight.
That'? .
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? an c? ? em-c? ol blog-admin pid-241070731">![?]()
20070509
&? ;May 9, 2007
So I had aam last night, and I had to ? e.
I'? ? ? o be? able leader ? t of a c? ? ? e) but I'm kind of a bad example--big slacker and I'm al? sneaking a smoke somewhere else? ? her, in an attem? o rouse my i? est, offers to cook me a who? abbi? o which I eagerly say "S? !"
Of? rse, when she pl? the plate down in f? of me, skinned and breaded, my reaction is ? e di? ent.? ? ing to get it do? o a manageab? ize, I cut it in half, b? hen am d? sted by the ? s-section of bones and organs I can see. I a? that I can't eat this (? hich theder ? ? etre? coffs, as if I am being ? e unmanl? ? ? ing a whole rabbit), and my mom scolds m? aying, "? til Joey gets here.? ? hen, I get a pag? om M? , saying the? a New Year's party at her house in Long Island, so of c? e, I take off.
While drivi? ? gh Manhattan and seeing the livi? unning around in? ? , going mad in f? of us, I get a ? ific idea when I see a dark ? R' Us on a corner.
So we pul? er, get out, tell Ph? ? ard the car, bre? ? late glass in th? ont ? and sneak into the ? e. I hold a box up i? ont of my face in case of any security c? as, but halfway in, I remember "Oh--zombies--right" and ? ? hering. We get a board game and some kind of hel? ter thing based ? he Silve? ? from the ne? ? -Man? ie, and head? ...
...on? o see so? otal? anger peelin? ay i? ? as Phil looks on ha? sly. "What a? oing?!" I yell, and run ? to him, nearly ? ping in the blood of a beheaded,? ? ed black man on the sidewalk? t to us. He ? gs a? ays, "He? t took i? ou know?? />
So Kim and ? n for several bl? , tailing the ca? hich, in wha? presumably an evasive m? ver,? ? bac? ound and win? ? st around the co? from where ? ? ed, in f? of ? smoky, loud? sy d? ay. ? a n? club, and th? e ce? ating New Ye? Eve in New York in the middle of the Zombiepoca? e. Gotta? e New York, right? Well, thi? y does...a lot. ? a big, goofy-lookin? y wi? ed hair.
He hops out ? he car and h? ? the doo? ? ? s jangling in his hand. ? orm ? o hi? elli? hining c? ant inve? e, and he backs off righ? ay. ? scared. Good. So I ? making him back off? ewing a neverending stream of complaint,? er a? ing him ? each the door.
Finally, h? ies ? hreaten me b? opping my ke? ? ven? ate. I get even ? e and he? ? en more ? ed. Finally,? losions ? t going off behind me, a? he bright co? tell me that someone's ? ing off fireworks to celebra? he n? ear, and he ? even more desperate--he's missi? ? ? . I still do? ? ? . A zomb? hambles by and finally, ? ? s yellin? er and over again, "? it! ? it! ? it! KEEP IT!!!" and? owing the keys on th? ound and stamping on them with his face all brig? ed a? ? ? />
I final? hut up, and he l? at me and I loo? him and? ay, "Sweet, thanks" ? ? ame time he ? ers, "No problem" and heads inside.
That'? .
I'? ? ? o be? able leader ? t of a c? ? ? e) but I'm kind of a bad example--big slacker and I'm al? sneaking a smoke somewhere else? ? her, in an attem? o rouse my i? est, offers to cook me a who? abbi? o which I eagerly say "S? !"
Of? rse, when she pl? the plate down in f? of me, skinned and breaded, my reaction is ? e di? ent.? ? ing to get it do? o a manageab? ize, I cut it in half, b? hen am d? sted by the ? s-section of bones and organs I can see. I a? that I can't eat this (? hich theder ? ? etre? coffs, as if I am being ? e unmanl? ? ? ing a whole rabbit), and my mom scolds m? aying, "? til Joey gets here.? ? hen, I get a pag? om M? , saying the? a New Year's party at her house in Long Island, so of c? e, I take off.
While drivi? ? gh Manhattan and seeing the livi? unning around in? ? , going mad in f? of us, I get a ? ific idea when I see a dark ? R' Us on a corner.
So we pul? er, get out, tell Ph? ? ard the car, bre? ? late glass in th? ont ? and sneak into the ? e. I hold a box up i? ont of my face in case of any security c? as, but halfway in, I remember "Oh--zombies--right" and ? ? hering. We get a board game and some kind of hel? ter thing based ? he Silve? ? from the ne? ? -Man? ie, and head? ...
...on? o see so? otal? anger peelin? ay i? ? as Phil looks on ha? sly. "What a? oing?!" I yell, and run ? to him, nearly ? ping in the blood of a beheaded,? ? ed black man on the sidewalk? t to us. He ? gs a? ays, "He? t took i? ou know?? />
So Kim and ? n for several bl? , tailing the ca? hich, in wha? presumably an evasive m? ver,? ? bac? ound and win? ? st around the co? from where ? ? ed, in f? of ? smoky, loud? sy d? ay. ? a n? club, and th? e ce? ating New Ye? Eve in New York in the middle of the Zombiepoca? e. Gotta? e New York, right? Well, thi? y does...a lot. ? a big, goofy-lookin? y wi? ed hair.
He hops out ? he car and h? ? the doo? ? ? s jangling in his hand. ? orm ? o hi? elli? hining c? ant inve? e, and he backs off righ? ay. ? scared. Good. So I ? making him back off? ewing a neverending stream of complaint,? er a? ing him ? each the door.
Finally, h? ies ? hreaten me b? opping my ke? ? ven? ate. I get even ? e and he? ? en more ? ed. Finally,? losions ? t going off behind me, a? he bright co? tell me that someone's ? ing off fireworks to celebra? he n? ear, and he ? even more desperate--he's missi? ? ? . I still do? ? ? . A zomb? hambles by and finally, ? ? s yellin? er and over again, "? it! ? it! ? it! KEEP IT!!!" and? owing the keys on th? ound and stamping on them with his face all brig? ed a? ? ? />
I final? hut up, and he l? at me and I loo? him and? ay, "Sweet, thanks" ? ? ame time he ? ers, "No problem" and heads inside.
That'? .
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April 1, 2007
They're a? ort of mixed up,? ? emember being with a group of deaf friends from a whole bunch of differe? ? of my life in a tiny little? n on? of a mountain in Colorado, ? e the sn? ? iled up 8 feet deep.? emember the sunl? glinting off of the cliffs ? now and ice ? ? ? of roads under the bright blue sky. Beautiful. I al? emember one of my first girlfriends tryi? o ski off of thi? ? hat was a bit too advanced for her, and reach th? turn at the end ? as it bup. I had to? up ? ave her then an ? pt c? cene? er, I was setting do? ? eople responsible for the bomb a? ternly admonishi? hem not to d? again.
Then later, I? running the? n and a ? aura? here? ange things ? ened? ? lik? ele? ary school, but built on? iece of land that wa? trange. I called it "wri? ? ound? t in back, it looked like a small cliff was ? ing out ? he ground, c? ing a waterfall ? he middle of this river ? ? ? ough the pro? y. I had been showin? to someone as a? planation of? ? ange things ? ened there--appa? ? he land was in actua? ? hole? ? , very boggish land with? iny, tinklin? eek running through it, and the cliff and waterfall were? t an illusion the land m? aine? t of sheer ego.
So I took him? ide and ? ed h? his strange machine I ha? ilt, which basic? took 1,000 straws in their ? ? , zipped the? t of the wra? s fa? than th? e could see, and? ck it in a drink whi? ? art of a meal which came? of the other end of the machine. I had to a? t a garbage can ? he f? so it could? ter catch th? appe? hen ? sho? t.
The kid I was with asked me why I didn't marke? , and I told him the? as a difference ? een creativity a? ? icality. This machine was an example of creativity--? ? ically b? ? elf and I di? ? e the faintest idea how ? orked. How do I mark? ? hing when I don't un? tand? it works? Anywa? he land the ? aura? at on was responsible for th? eation of this...thing, and ? ? ypical of the od? uff ? ? ld happen.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 2:20 PM&? ;0 Comments
March 18, 2007
At ? t, I thi? hey're dreams. For e? le..? t night, I get home ? nd 1:30 ? he morning, and can't fall asleep until ? ? hat ? ens ? before 2:30 that's ? ? ? ting to me.
See...I'm lying in be? rying to sleep, when suddenly, I start feeling my bed shake ? houg? ? 's kneading one ? ? upports with? ? s. T? hing is...she's not ? ? oom, the doo? ? t, and I had the sam? act ? ation last Septe? ? ing ? tre So ? ? hand on the wall ne? o the bed, and I can feel the wa? haking, and all the various things hung on i? whatever rattling. ? ? that se? s of? remor, but it's ? ? o make me get co? ned,? ? of bed,? dressed, and see if? one else wok? . Nothing. Even the cat'? ill ? ed out, ? hougthing happened.
So this morning, ? ent ? ly an hour looki? ? ? arious news ? ces (includi? ome governme? eismic agency), looking for any info about an ea? uake that hit th? ea a? ound 2:30 this morning. Nothing.? ? ely nothing. And seismic events ? his ? of the worl? e defini? ? ? thy ? ? o make it on? he f? page of Yahoo! at l? ? />
What the hell? ? ? e been a dream. ? y thing is, if it wa? ? ame exact thing ? ened as in my la? ost:? oke ? traight from the dre? itho? ealizing I'd wok? p. That is, ? e was no? ? ption between th? eam and real life whatso? ? 's lI was wide awake and? t...hallucinating the whole time? />
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March 16, 2007
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Okay, so I had a ? ? eam ? night a? being a? chan? tudent in Japan who lived with af Japanese girl and her family, which led to...- a? ? e kid in the school bathroom? ck naked, bent over and holding his ankles, and waggling? balls at me
- the sub? ent tran? mation of me and my car into a beaver and a rabbit, who then chased each other all over the freeway
- th? lmination offreeway ? ney, whi? as a random ? to ? o, and an ab? ? huge and amazing cityscape
- a day ? to the ? ed State? hich end? ith me deciding not ? ? n to? an, and going to bed, on? o re? e that it was already morning...and ? I had just woke? from th? eam.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 2:19 PM? p;0 Comments ? tyle="bo? :none;" href? tp:/? .blo? .com? t-edit.g?blogID=5988413477321192800&? ID=7472867229962140283" title="Edit ? ">
March 2, 2007
T? tores and re? ? s that lined the road were c? ? ch like ? e that edged the hig? of his memory.S? hing? ght his attention, and he lookeda re? ? ? ting on the side of the road. One he hadn't seen before,? ? re clad in dark-stained wood. The parking lot wa? dime? ? ? ed, two parallel? ips of g? ? rounded by a sea of bare limerock.
He pulled his car into an open space in the row ne? o the road. As he wa up ? ? estaurant, he looked back, noting the car in? mind. It was im? ant not to forget that.
C? ing the threshold, a voice began in his head. With a? sian accent, the voice narrated a sequence o? ? inc? ? ? h hi? esen? perience, and he roamed the lower level ? ? ? ? ? estat, navigating the melange of tables and diners, sniffing? the spe? . He? ? ? ly e? ated by ? ? of ? aura? atrons, wonderin? ? presence and actions. Finally, he noted the? ? n wall of the lower leve? eeing a number of wi? s leading in? ? ? ? el, which contained more tables and diners.As he ascended the small ? ? ? oice gre? ronger and more identifi? female.? stal. He? ned to h? ? and? ? , lo? avy red ? , sitting ne? o a black man--her b? iend, visiting from Wash? on State? he looked at he? ? oice? ed and distorted, pointing in her di? ion, and he walk? p to? table.
"Hi," he said. "I? ? to inte? t, but I? e to tell you something.? />
She smiled. "Hi! I haven't seen? in a lo? ime!? />
"Yes."
S? aused and looked at her boyfriend. He was afraid he had ? onted, b? as g? ? ith a smile and a wave as the boyfriend ? ly climbed onto the table, inten? ? utinizing wh? as going on ? he next room? ough the window.
"I can hear ? tho? s," ? aid. "You're? rati? our life in ? ssian ac? . Did you kn? hat? I just ? ? o te? ou. Have a good time." H? ood and ? ? />
He walked out of the re? ? and looked t th? eep hill? ing in f? of the building. The scraped-limero? ows of cars had ? iplied and ascended ? he new hill.? ? up and ? ? ? , fourth? up. He climbed and walked along? ? ? t couldn't find it. He looke? to the ? above, then? n to the? s below, and? sed the car thief that had moff with? ? ? />
He took one? ? ? of the hill, and noted ? ? t of the long rows of ta? ? e laden with food--a? t of? luck ban? . Disregardi? he f? , he made his way do? he long, the? like? s to the? ? ant ? he bottom of the hill, only to discover several larg? hite boards, proppedon easels, and c? ? ith ? kinds of cookies th? ere the size of dinn? lates. The h? ? rofo? late of food in his ? hand no? hstandin? he large sugar cookies looked most a? izin? o he? uggl? o peel one off, stretching it until ? ? ? ize of a bedsheet an? apin? over his right arm.
He looke? the? bage bag in his ? hand and decided to leave it in the nea? ? bage can? he ? osed of it a? alke? ay, ? ealized he h? ? ? ? he cookie, a? he garbage b? as once again th? yrofoam ? e of food. He re? wanted a cookie; he? t about ? ? ely and ? ght briefly ? t returning ? he board? ealized ? as being? ched by the ? ds of people? ering the hill betwe? ? ables. It would be fooli? o take a cookie,? ow i? ay, then? urn for ? her one.
? ? ned ? he hill, in ? ch of something sweet. At one table were Ric? ispi? ? s ma? ith ketchup, whi? as intriguin? t no? petizingwever, next ? he ketch? ? s was a ? iglas rack filled wi? re-made ice cream cones ? ained in small metal beersteins. As ? icked on? , he knocked it against the ? iglas an? illed some of the ic? eam, only to? e the rest o? when a rude? panic woman sudd? shoved ? him in her ? ? ion for the ? en confections.
D? sted, he backed ? and walked off,? tering, ? us!"? dly ? ? o be hea? p and do? he h? ide. The audience laughed.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 2:18 PM&? ;0 Comments
Ja? y 31, 2007
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So I ? s someone ta? me how to make a solar ? em last night.Then I was ? he o? ? ? ? ies ? ? hockwave, watching a? his ? swirl around the formin? ar, ridi? he gravitational com? sion? ward? ? e encounted ? ringed plan? hich? there for a? ently no reason. It had like 5 m? , all of whi? ere big, brightly-colored, and looked like marbles. The shoc? e bl? he m? ? ough the planet and ? roye? ? opelling the moons outward..? />
segment ? ? ace, and the other marble had already raced ahead. It was like a? ney/Pixar movie, "MARBLEZ" omething dumb like that.
Then I wo? p with one of the worst splitting headaches I've had in a lo? ime. Goddammit.
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&? ;
Ja? y 30, 2007
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It was kind of interesting, but n? uite enough to go in? us detail. Suffice it to? that I was Mexican, had? ? arted work at a Coyote-Ugly type of place somewhere in Mexico, and had just been sent on an errand b? ? s to? a few 20s out of an ATM? h his debit card, to be imme? ely followed up with ano? ? and ? ick up a? nce ? ot for hI we? o a 7-11? oss the parking lot from the? , on? o find out it had closed? n an? rned? o a gigantic som? o leanin? aga? a big cinderblock b? ? ed i? ange and gre? ? ? ith the 7-11 sig? ? ed on the side.So of? rse I had to go acro? his ? ? y road in the middle of the nigh? hinkto myself that I had? ned into one of ? e Mexica? ou a? s se? ossi? ? on ? or on a bike with a? ent total disregard for the inte? y of their life and limb, to? it a BP ? ion. At the end ? he n? ? ? raining and I had a? ? ? bag under m? m filled? h ma? ana, and one of the dancers ? he bar gave me a? s.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 2:17 PM
Jan? 28, 2007
Man. Some wild dreams ? night. I'll ignore the one ? said I prob? should fill? the FAFSA and a? ? sch? ? s to focus on this one.
My me? of ? dre? ? s off with a dri? ? gh a region of n? al gas, ? g in these enormous ? ? hat go off e? ? sec? . They look like? hroom cl? ? ploding in dark ? and dull red. As I'? iving throug? hey sudd? become synchronized, going off ? ltan? ly, creating an ? ? amount of heat and ? sure. However, I do make it through, only to? ive ? his creepy, pidated,? ? old? se outside of which someone who seems to be Kelly, M? , and Kim al? once and some guy a? aiting for me.
I go, ? rented ? ??" and the girl nods. "C'mon," she ? . "We're goi? o ha? o get through this ASAP." So we open the front door and damn it'? ? ? ? he only ? ce of light ? he o? ional flickering black l? tube, a? here are things moving in the sha? . So the? l tells ? hat the obje? e here is to col? all the black l? tubes along the? and fig? hethings with them. Err, ? ? />
So ? e making? ? ? ough those horri? ty, spidery things and collecting black lights, when we finally arrive at the kitchen, on the second floor at the back of the house. The? l flips ? itch, and boom--? al l? s come on. It's ? e, bright, and much, much nicer than it was ? ? econd ago. E? t...? e's a mo? ? tingthe windowsill behind the refrig? or. It l? like a red baboon, but fuckin' ? rong, an? ? taring at me, fixated. I? ice a door next ? he fridg? omehow know ? the stairs ? ? hird floor attic are behind it, and ask the girl if ? hould go up ? e.
Sh? ens the ? and wal? ? gh, looking ? ? ? case. She takes long? han I'm comfortable with? t wh? he gets back, she sh? and? s "I don? hink so...there's nothin? there." "Okay,"? s I,? t did you kn? here's a monkey behi? ou?" She? ns around and looks through the ? again. "No," I say,? 's by th? idge." She l? at the fridge, ? ? hing. "NO," I say, "? behindin front of the wi? ." She l? ? ? cooing, and? atch? he baboon on? tummy. It b? ? fangs and c? ers, and the two of us leave the? chen and head ba? ? ? he house the same way we came in? ? rning on all the lights. All cre? es are gone.
When we get ? he f? door, I look back a? ay, "Damn! This ? ? a lot better inside tha? tside!" The girl nods, a? his time, she looks like Mindy, and ? , "That's why I ? ed it. Just had to fumigate it f? ."
So? urn ? nd, get back in my chead back through the region of giant natural-ga? shroom clouds, and get home, only to find th? otal? anger sitting in my parents' bedroom. I frea? t be? ? ? ? are? of town, and I ? ? e le? he f? door unlocked, and ? ? in. I grab him and ? ? agging h? o th? ont ? , wh? ? tranger's momes walking in, ? ying groceries. I immediatel? art yelling, "What the FUCK a? ou doing? e? G? he FUCK out of here! Oh, shi? he cat just ran out the FUCKING ? !" This was because the stra? mom had left th? ont ? open.
I run ? he door, see my cat ? he end o? ont porch, close my ? and run? ough the door--only ? un into someone else's living room. Righ? ay, I re? e that I? ? p te? acting my house with? hole bunch o? ? , so they all in? ect at certa? ? s and become the eight cubic cells of a ? eract. B? se of this, my c? ill never ge? tside, a? ? ? ing the front door of th? her ? e and meowing lo? . I mana? o pick h? p, head back? ough the? ing room door into my house, and? n all the ho? loose.
I wok? and tho? it was a nightmare,? it real? asn't. My scribblings in my ? nal tryi? o descri? he dream are kind of fucup. ? .
My me? of ? dre? ? s off with a dri? ? gh a region of n? al gas, ? g in these enormous ? ? hat go off e? ? sec? . They look like? hroom cl? ? ploding in dark ? and dull red. As I'? iving throug? hey sudd? become synchronized, going off ? ltan? ly, creating an ? ? amount of heat and ? sure. However, I do make it through, only to? ive ? his creepy, pidated,? ? old? se outside of which someone who seems to be Kelly, M? , and Kim al? once and some guy a? aiting for me.
I go, ? rented ? ??" and the girl nods. "C'mon," she ? . "We're goi? o ha? o get through this ASAP." So we open the front door and damn it'? ? ? ? he only ? ce of light ? he o? ional flickering black l? tube, a? here are things moving in the sha? . So the? l tells ? hat the obje? e here is to col? all the black l? tubes along the? and fig? hethings with them. Err, ? ? />
So ? e making? ? ? ough those horri? ty, spidery things and collecting black lights, when we finally arrive at the kitchen, on the second floor at the back of the house. The? l flips ? itch, and boom--? al l? s come on. It's ? e, bright, and much, much nicer than it was ? ? econd ago. E? t...? e's a mo? ? tingthe windowsill behind the refrig? or. It l? like a red baboon, but fuckin' ? rong, an? ? taring at me, fixated. I? ice a door next ? he fridg? omehow know ? the stairs ? ? hird floor attic are behind it, and ask the girl if ? hould go up ? e.
Sh? ens the ? and wal? ? gh, looking ? ? ? case. She takes long? han I'm comfortable with? t wh? he gets back, she sh? and? s "I don? hink so...there's nothin? there." "Okay,"? s I,? t did you kn? here's a monkey behi? ou?" She? ns around and looks through the ? again. "No," I say,? 's by th? idge." She l? at the fridge, ? ? hing. "NO," I say, "? behindin front of the wi? ." She l? ? ? cooing, and? atch? he baboon on? tummy. It b? ? fangs and c? ers, and the two of us leave the? chen and head ba? ? ? he house the same way we came in? ? rning on all the lights. All cre? es are gone.
When we get ? he f? door, I look back a? ay, "Damn! This ? ? a lot better inside tha? tside!" The girl nods, a? his time, she looks like Mindy, and ? , "That's why I ? ed it. Just had to fumigate it f? ."
So? urn ? nd, get back in my chead back through the region of giant natural-ga? shroom clouds, and get home, only to find th? otal? anger sitting in my parents' bedroom. I frea? t be? ? ? ? are? of town, and I ? ? e le? he f? door unlocked, and ? ? in. I grab him and ? ? agging h? o th? ont ? , wh? ? tranger's momes walking in, ? ying groceries. I immediatel? art yelling, "What the FUCK a? ou doing? e? G? he FUCK out of here! Oh, shi? he cat just ran out the FUCKING ? !" This was because the stra? mom had left th? ont ? open.
I run ? he door, see my cat ? he end o? ont porch, close my ? and run? ough the door--only ? un into someone else's living room. Righ? ay, I re? e that I? ? p te? acting my house with? hole bunch o? ? , so they all in? ect at certa? ? s and become the eight cubic cells of a ? eract. B? se of this, my c? ill never ge? tside, a? ? ? ing the front door of th? her ? e and meowing lo? . I mana? o pick h? p, head back? ough the? ing room door into my house, and? n all the ho? loose.
I wok? and tho? it was a nightmare,? it real? asn't. My scribblings in my ? nal tryi? o descri? he dream are kind of fucup. ? .
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Dece? 22, 2006
I had an i? esti? ostapoca? ic dream? t night.
I was in this large ? that had an eno? s monument in the ce? ? ? a globe made of? e glass.? ? alking along one? ? h a friend of mi? hen ? uddenly saw ? huge alien ? in sky behi? he monument. This beam of actinic bluish-white l? sho? t and destroyed the ? ? and killed almost e? one without ? royi? he city. Only a few ? s were left.
We a? truggled to ? at a single place, and whil? friend ? name's Candie) and I we? alking along, we? ? g about how the remaining people should be g? ned. She tho? we ? ? ake ? rol imme? ely and begin settin? an ? , determine the ? ? ision of? ources, things like ? . I ? ght ? hould ge? eryo? ? her and take some votes ? o wh? o do? t, b? se, as I told her, it was a ? ? slope from telling ? ? to do "for now" to being an ? essive dictator. She scoffed, and we? ived at ? rsing home.
There? e only a? of us. Maybe 20 or 30. ? e were a ton of bodi? hat had to be removed and cleane? ? o I quickly organize? eryone into ? s and we som? managed to get ? ything done. By the time we were finishe? ? ? ? ising again, and we saw, to our shoc? hat the lands beyond the? y had be? ? formed into desert. For some reason, people look? o me, Candie, and 2 other women ? he leaders, ? e told e? one to find a sh? and a clean bed and come ba? hen ? wok? ? />
So I left. I di? eared in? he d? t one night. The? st day (we had become no? nal; we ? ? ring the? and? ked duri? he n? ), I? ldn't fall asleep wh? uddenly ? ? ind kick? p and bl? and all ? nd me, b? ing ? ything out. Then, right in f? of me, Kim beca? isible...it was the ? ? thing, like she? a g? or a ho? am. The desert had dried me out and ? ied my mind, so ? ked her how long it'd be? ince the? truction of the ? and the? ertification of the world, a? ? aid, "Le? han a week." Then I asked her if Canada had ? ived, and she said, ? ." A? talking? ? hile, I foun? t that it'd ? been the United States ? ? ? acke? ? est ? ? orld? ? t fine. We'd been decimated.? om a? ? ion of over 300 million to less than 200,000? read? amo? ? ? of our larger cities.
She di? eared, and n? came. A man behind a desk appeared with? ? and. I d? remr anything a? what we talked ? t, but a? ? ? came walking in? of nowhere, told the man, "Hey, I'm on page 275." The man behind the desk nodded, and blew ? ? o the sand, and sudd? the? ? his ? ? l young blon? oman? ? rang? ? tanding ? to me. She asked me what I'd been doing, and whI was going.? old her, "Learning a? the? ld, and I'm ? t to go back." S? uddenly disappeared, dropping to the ground and ? hering away into the wall of sand th? ? urrounding me. Somehow, I managed to follow her,? ttling along at all ? ? an ? edib? peed, li? ome kind of dese? eptibr /? />She met Candi? the edge of the? ert,? before she could say anything, ? ept down and swe? he girl ? . All Candie? ? this whirling cloud of sand all around her, and she freaked? ? rnin? ound only to find herself back in th? rsing home, standing in front of me, while a? ? sucked itsel? t of the window.
And ? ? it. De-tailed.? ? le="clear:both; padding-? om:0.25em">
posted by Hugh VanDerG? ? p; # 2:16 P> 0 Comm? ? an>
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December 13, 2006
I dreamed last night that I? ld fly from ? h to Venus (? ome similar planet) and back on my own, ? ing ? ? hite? divi? uit with those f? thalow you to glide? />
And then I? goi? p again, punching through th? ? here, the la? of ? ? eeling away and ? s (or wh? ? orld it was)? t ahead of me like a giganti? ay-green pearl betwe? ? trea stars.
A? e to remember.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 2:15 PM&? ;0 Comm? ? an>
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November 3, 2006
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2 short drea? s:
1) I'm? ting on a dock on the water with two old fri? . We're talking and ? 're tryi? o get me to ? wimming with them. I won't g? e of all the electronic ? ? sually have ? ? ? son. Fin? , I relent a? ay I'm doing to do a special? e in? ? ? . I stand poised on the edge of the dock, and leap off. And ? and leap and leap, ? ing like a feather on the wind, higher and highe? ntil I look up a? eali? he ceiling Iorgotten about i? ill ? e. I? nce off of it like a helium balloon and tap ? ith 2 fi? s while looking down on my frien? ith a sardon? mile? though I we? aying, "Too bad ? ceiling is here--I could have gone higher!" Then I head? n in? ? ? and make a big splash, but manage n? o ge? all? />
2) I'm the Emperor ? he World, and Bill and Hillary C? on, along with K? Clarkson, have been? ing to a? sinate me for years through the Glam-Blag, a? t of belt that k? people ? ? abdomens come into ? act with the fro? art. They do it off and on, not really cstently, so I don't take them th? erio? . There's sort of a big ? s co? ence going on, a? ? hree of them are? ting behind me, looking ? ? />
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October 16, 2006
So I had a really kind of i? esting dream? t night.
Some background info: a ? le of times ? he last few weeks, I've woke? ? eral tim? hile drifting off to sleep a? ealized ? ? e somehow fo? ten how to b? he, so of course? ? breathing again. That, ? a n? ? tle cold I'm suffering from ? e days, was bound to make th? ? ? ting, I ? ose.
So last night, I? falling asleep--had a hard time because? ? aying so muc? ? ion to m? eathing--and I found? elf in my pa? s' house? guing with my mom. I needed to go somewhere,? lace she? n't allowed to know ? t, b? he kept sayi? ? anted to come with me. Finally, ? udgi? , I let her come, al? gh it meant ? ? ould? e to dro? plans.
H? er, whil? iving along, I forgot she was there at all a? ? ed driving o? topilot, heading to the rendezvo? ? ? ddenly, she ? ed me on the shoulder, looking c? sed, and I jumped, completel? artled. Then, chagrined,? aid, "Lo? st need ? ull ? ? e for a while, okay?" "Uh, okay," she said. So I pulled ? ? t to a large, thickly wooded tract of land, and we both got out ? ? ruck? ? then that I? iced? as driving my old blue-a? hite? ck--and ? of hung around.? as keeping m? es on the woods, knowing that th? ould send me? ignal wh? raining was to commence.
It came--sha? ? ms darting from tree to tree. I turn? ? mom, who wa? sy on her cellphone, and told her I had to go take a leak in the woods, and headed in. Once I was through the first line of trees, I? ? ee a hundredple ? o, b? hey were all? ? of some kin? ano? . Not the X-Men kind, the kind (which I ? t saw th? ast weekend), where ? 're all semi-deformed and ha? eird? ers and stuff. They had several long tables set up, and ? yone? ? ing. At ? tab? hat ran ? ? e to all the othsat their le? , this lady who ? ? looked normal.
I walked ? o her and sat down, an i? ? questio? rning in my head. See, it seems ? in order to become one ? hem, I had h? o be infected with a? ? hat ? ied the ability to effect wi? read change ? he g? ic level? ch like Xide, which I've rece? rea? ee how e? thing's relating to stuff I'? een rece? ?), but I was co? ned ? t the thing ? e I forg? ? eathe. So I asked the le? if ? ? ? mal duri? he c? e of the transfo? ion. She nodded and said? 's b? se it takes a little while f? he e? e range of g? ic a? ? ? n their ? se, ? our brai? ? ing to deal with? h the old material a? he new m? ial for a while...in? ween? ing to compe? e for the change? ome signals get ? , and since breathin? somethi? ou do consta? ? apping out one gas for another, ? the one function th? almost always affected duri? ? ? formation. D? ? ry a? it too much? />
So I nodded and thanked? and said I'd be? ? h back, my m? hinks I was ? taking a piss. She said? to ? y about ? , ei? , someone had already taken care of it. So I left the woods, wen? to the truc? old my mom it was ti? o go, and got in. She said, "That took a while...where'd? go?" So? old her ? I had JUST let her ? ? as going to the bathroom and tha? ? n't my f? if she wasn? ayin? ? ion ? eali? hat time it was. And she? ght it.
I gue? hat's all.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 2:14 PM 0 Com? ? pan> ? pan ? s="item-? rol blog-adm? id-241070731">
July 3, 2006
I just reme? ? hat I had a dream last n? where Earth? ? ? ating a celestia? ent.? as outsi? ith someone and ? ere talking, when we? iced? tar ? ? ? hat was moving and growing large? ? qui? . Before long, it became a disk and ? coming. We ? ? there a? atched i? ow larger, curvinside th? bit ? he moon, whi? as full and high in the sky. We were und? andably ? ous--God only kn? hat the ? ? ional ef? s might be.
The most prominent image I rememb? ? atching something that looked like a full pl? go ? ing ? head, occluding the moon and a good half of ? s, all l? ? pinning like mad, a huge? ntai? ominent on i? urfa? olli? ? the? ld, towards us, and ? ? ? so ? e we? ld make out ? ? on the surface. And the? ? gon? apid? hrinking away into a star again.
Then? er, ? eamed that I? ? rying toward something, pogo-ing? ough thi? range ma? e/ba? area before fin? breakin? t on? hese wide, macad? aved? races which led down to an aspha? arking loop (like the on? RIT? h the Sentinel), and stopping be? e I saw Kim, running really ? . I ? ght she was going to beat me, so? tayed, f? ing ? e was no point, ? to see her ? ? again. ? ? hen ? ? ealized ? she? n't running towa? ? hing? st jogging in a circle, ? ? he loop ? and over again, so I kept going. On? hing is, I d? remember where I was going ? o be? e a ? ? pot ? un l? ? gh by the bl? stabbed me dire? in the eye and woke me up.
Damnation.
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June 27, 2006
So? e been having some dreams la? ? t th? end to be so fucked up I don't even feel lik? ying to type the? t and making some sense ? hem.
However...this one I had? t night was ? so goddamn fun.
I? ? off? h me? ing. I mean like? erman. I'm over ? ocean, the sky's cloudless, the sun? hining, the water's ? amazing? e, and I'm flying re? ? and stirrin? thi? ? ake as I? ? erhead. It doesn't feel like I'm? t sliding along through the air--the? some kind o? opulsion? tem involved? e, like my feet are ? ? rocket ? les, exerting some huge,? isible force? allel to my ? . There's a gigantic? ise ? up ahead, but it's painted enti? black, and ? ? chin? ? h this much smaller yach? hich is also painted black. Up ahead, there's a large marble wal? ? ing out ? ? ? and? ving awa? t of sight. ? ? r on the juice and b? my way ahead, o? aking the old lady in the black yacht and making? bob a little in my wake? />
The? ble walkway's entrance i? arde? two bli? omen, and leads to a? t of floating city, although the "floati? art" is stri? ? aphorical--i? ? and it ? n't, and the blind ladie? e the gateke? s. I know I'm not allowed to? over the threshold--whe? ? alk and the water meet--othe? e I'll be killed, so? ? up and ? le down onto the? er, walking ahead. T? omen are on opposite sides of the walk, ? ting? aight ahead at each other with blank eyes. T? oman on the ? is a youngish blond? hile the woman on the right is an oldish black lady. As ? proa? ? ? hold, I see the...sort of emperor of the? ? I'm abo? o enter coming down the walk to ? the old lady, and giving me this lo? hat's making me ? ous. I'm? ? posed to be ? ? ? I'm ? ? sing? ough this co? ? here people have? chic? ers and are ? ? ? laying g? to ? ive. People like me--limited only to the? er of fl? ? e illegal an? st be killed. The old la? are tel? ? ? cree? eryo? hat ente? ? land, b? hey can be fooled.
However, it seems ? my ? presenc? thema to them. S? hing about m? I approach them, no? ter how much white noise I have in my he? o block out thei? ? , makes them suddenl? ithe in pain. Like, goin? ts. The emperor ? this an? ops dead? arin? me. I duck my head down and wait for the old lady from the yacht to? off? boat and wa? ? ? he border so I can g? ? gh. She ? so, and I make ? ? gh, and sudd? I'm? ide. The? ble walkway, which curve? wards in? ? ky, is now curving d? ? ? ough a building with walls made from the same material, with? s of gla? indows. ? dden? emember ? I c? ? ort, and sta? rying to do so. ? ? that I've now e? ed a game fo? own? vival, and it's one ? ? e played many, many times before. I have all of ? e memori? ifti? ? gh my head o? ery time? e done it, and I remember th? act proc? e that I need to go through to g? o th? her side? />
Right around th? ? ? memoriell m? here should be guards ac? ing me, and I should be tele? ing ? from them. However, this time around, nothi? ? pening. I shrug and ? walking? ying to tele? on my own, tryi? o figure it out.? ? ? pro? ? ? eded because eve? ime I pass a? izen, I have to blan? ? mind and fill it wi? hite noi? ntil they pass. However, it isn't long b? e I ? re i? t and manage to materialize ? ? ? of ? gigantic govern? ? alace. It's like the White House? t al? 50 ? ies tall and? ? ? n weathe? stem. In the step in front of me, there's a ? , and I ? that I have to ? ? ? hat ? and? er a tun? ? ? ? h the palace. Th? the? t way through to the oth? ide, and I can leave this co? y and enter Barbar. The ? trouble is, I have to hide from the small battalions of sol? s marching along? oughout the tunnels, because they'll rea? mind and kill me on the spo? hich? ? pened before? />
? , goddammit.? I'm concerned. ? ? er been ? ? y before. Wh? going on? So I tele? to ? neighborhoo? ll of Vi? ian ? es. While I was sneaking? ough the tun? , night fell, so it's all dark outside. My friend who lives ? his one ? ? n't home? t hi? ont ? is open. Not feeling too safe a? going into his ? e while ? ? there (? ? ? ath,? er all),? ait ? ide ? to a car, only ? ? he e? or comin? . He is now ? ting to look? tinctly like Jim? rey. So I'm king to myself, o? ck, ? over, only to have him ? e a huge sigh and lean again? he car himself.
So I ask him ? the deal's been so far today. Nothing much has ? ened, and I can ? ? ough really easily. He confides in me that, ? ? he game is a? ive and ? ns from each time you pl? ? gh, and second, ? ? ing ? top the whole ga? layi? hing and? ? n his military. ? ble is, his ? ? hink the mil? ? absolutely n? ? in order to keep th? safe the way they are--? don't know ? ? stand th? hings don't have to ? his way. So ? ? ical? ? ed, and the ? thing hn re? do ? his stag? ? e off on the game.
So I commiserate, and he l? ? ? ed. ? e head inside the house, where e? thin? ddenly changes, and I'm talking to Jim Carrey for real, discussing e? thing I've just done as ? gh it was a movie I'? ? atched. I say, "The premise was promising, b? he follow-through was kind of weak. I would have lik? o see more action, n? his whole winding-do? hing." And he ag? , and we sta? alking a? coffee, and that wa? ? />
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June 16, 2006
I h? ome really c? dreams ? night.
F? ? tly involved thi? ? ? who painted thi? tremely evoc? e portrait of a woman who might have been black (she had braids)? ? h very l? skin. My mom's friend, Kim, and? kids and a bunch of other kids were the? oo, and ? all ? ing on a plane and flying to Man? an, because of c? e there's a huge? ? right in mi? n. I remember the view as we fle? ? he B? and the? town, before fin? finding? oad and ? ? iing in the plane al? ? he island in an attempt to find the ? ay. Once we got off, we woun? wanderi? ? ? colossal fac? y wi? hose? ange, old-timey signs, and I? ? his book? e that consisted of six ware? e-sized rooms, each room a diffe? genre.
We we? rying to find baggage claim (Kim? telling those horro? ories about never getting her baggage back), when we decided to down in front of what looked like a science museum at those two circ? tables and ? one table i? ont of a machine. I sat alon? the machine, while ? yone spl? p and sa? the tables and ? ted ? talking. After a while,? ealized ? the second table, on th? posi? ide ? he f? one fro, was sinking. T? eason for th? ? hat the tabl? ere ? ing on a science? eriment: a bog. The ? t table was doing fine, but the ? on the seco? able? e alread? to their ears in th? ck. ? ? ing ? elling could tear th? ? ? ? ion ? from their ? ersation? />
Then I dreamed ? ? as going to y's.? as driving down Spring Hill ? e when I? sed Grac? ? terian Churc? his ? ch my fa? used to go ? hen I was little. For so? eason, I knew I had ? ark some? e and wa? o Mindy'? ? here, so? ulle? er and decid? o see if I could find a way through the ? ? arking lot and left the car parked on the side o? ring Hil? ive while I ? to look. There was ? sma? aved road th? ? here an ? ? oad is in real life,? ting the? rch to my left, but ? erminated in? mall grassy fiel? ? nded by huge? all pine? ith a parking lo? retching away to my ? . There was an o? ? ple walking out ? he field and they both looke? me. The? shook his head and said to me, "No, keep going.? ? e a long? to go." So ? rned around and ? back the way I had come, on? o see the couple? ersect my pa? ith ? her ? le a? ? talking cheerily, like real congreg? ? ? ? ervice i? er.
As I ? ? he little knot, ? went si? and? ched me as I walked ? . I look? ? the sign of the? rch and realized that the name had changed. ? ? ? hing like "Faith of the Sun ? ch."? back to my car, made a ? rn, made a left onto this little loop road off of de? ive, and tri? o find a wooded lot ? e I could leave my car f? he n? . No suc? ck, but the road ended in this driveway, so I parked there and kept walking down the road, only to find myself blocked by a wall. I turned left, and? nd myself in someone's living room. I re? ? ? oad literally ended ? omeo? ? se, and through the ? s slg door, I saw Kim (Roche? Kim, not mom Kim). Green and black ? ts, green t-? t wi? olle? sle? ? ? dropped and I asked, "dude, wha? e you doing here in Spring Hill?" Sh? ? hrugged and ? ed her lips, refusing to? wer. Fin? , she sa? ? hing about "perks" and left.? ? hat,? ound up ? ing the reflection of this d? blonde ? ? ough the? se, ? to see her go o? he f? door.
When I mad? ? ough the front door, she? gone, and I pondered the possib? y th? he n? existed in the ? t place.? ? le="clear:both; padding-? om:0.25em">
posted by VanDerG? ? p; # 2:12 PM 0 Comm? ? an>
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June 15, 2006
I had ? long instin? eam ? nig? hat involved Jules, Jean, Ad? pan ? s="ljuse? ser="adamcohen" styl? hite-space: ? ap;">
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June 3, 2006
Well...I d? remembe? ch, ? slight pieces here and ? e.
There was one smal? trange man in a place where the ? ? came in? ? ed, and gold, in order f? t to? t valuable. I was with him at a ? ? this palace, where I was mingling and he was sniffing out m? . He? ? t of a lepre? ? pe a? ent stra? to ? tod? who? playing somethi? imil? o connect-4,? ? tly with reds and golds. He ? ted ? ing with this kid and robbing him blind, taking ? and golds and f? ing them? o some kind of o? space and taking? es out of hi? n fortune in the same ge? e and replacing them? />
When the ki? arte? ying? set at how e? thing he? playing? h was becoming blue, the? rechaun ? ? ee g? ? t th? ere strange: they had imprints on them..? st of a ? , th? ? econd of? ig, then the third of a ? -headed pig. Before I knew i? he baby's body h? urned in? hat of a pig, an? started running around and squealing. It bolted under a lon? rtain, and it wa? long before a little wolf cub came ? ting up,? ? ted ? ? mell. I watched,? sed, whi? he lepre? n fe? freaked and tri? o fi? he baby-pig under th? ? before the cub got to it, moaning a? ? he ? ld learn? ? son when it comes to? temper,? before long, the ba? ? hot out from und? he drape? he cub close on its heels.
The leprechaun stood i? ont of i? ? it, and ? ted tryi? ? op i? om going? ? he baby,? everything ? ried, th? ? allowed,? il finally, in desperation, the ? echa? ried? tick. Somehow, in th? ruggle, the stick go? rned around and the cub ? ? rped the sti? p li? paghetti, which I thought was th? nnie? hing ever an? rst out laug. Th? ? rned? head to loo? me and gave me ? gri? ? ? of its ? le muzzl? rlin? , before it ? ? ough the? rechaun's legs a? ent after the ba? ig.
Then ? e was th? eam ? t a ? p of? ee kids tryi? o do something but having to wait. In the meantime, one ? he kids, played by Michelle Trachtenberg, di? eared in ord? o take a shower. I just reme? ? kneeling on the floor of the sh? stall, topless, and? hing? self whi? he o? kids were looking for her. She look? trange--almost anorexic.
After that, ? hole family was ? ing out in a? ing truc? ? n. T? eird thi? ? the sun was rising in the west, not the ? , and we? e headed? ? it ? his road? ? fro? ? se. ? ? to be busy, and we were? t chugging along behind ? ? tle ? e car with a? ng lady in i? ? eemed to be going sl? than people liked, because folks were c? antly passin? . No? st on the left, but ? ? ? , ac? people's lawns and ? ? s. Suddenly,? some reason, we had to turn around, so ? ulled in? omeo? drivewa? here I freaked b? se I? ? ee a sta? ? er in a ? ? nearby,? ? arently ? as okay, because we then backed out acro? ? oad and into someone? e's ? ? ? oss from the? st one. Into the second ? ? a lady cop followed us,? once we? back on the road, it was okay.
That'? , I think.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 2:11 PM 0 Com? ? pan> ? pan ? s="item-? rol -adm? id-241070731">
? 26, 2006
So I'm? h a ? le of la? , a ? le o? ys aroun? age, and a ? le of older ? ? />
The train is going unbe? ? ? t, and I't help but wonder--? if it becomes a run? train? And here I a? tuck on the roof. I'm having to ride the damn thing like a bucking bronc? traddlin? and? ing ? tay on as th? ain ? up and down hills and m? ? and val? and funny little rills ? he l? cape and? es a? hat have? at absolutely breakneck speed. Then it ? ? ? whe? here's n? ack for ? t 3 ? , and I'm convinced ? it'll derail, but at th? ? ? ? so much mom? m that i? st goes righ? er and conti? on ? ? rack? t th? eak. We enter this cave which we spend a? min? in--only to com? ? the same point ? hich we entered.
? then, I realize that something's not right, and the dre? ? s. I? till riding the train, b? here are no tracks anywhere,? t this enormous tree that we seem to be circling. I'm losing my balance, so ? ab a branch ? ? ree to help me climb up onto the? ? ? dumps a ton? e horrible little biting tree-ants a? ? ? ? arm, making me let go.
Then ? ything goes *flash* and I'm back at my a? ? ? h all of my ? anions, and ? 're all ? laining ? t the ride. I'm picking ticks and scraping ants off of my skin, tryi? o get the ticks off befo? hey atta? ? skin and hoping that they d? stay alive ? he carpet. Suddenly, one of the girl? ks a? one of the ? my age, and thi? y sa? arcastic? , "How nice ? ? o worry ? t him. He's ? he living room," whi? layi? ith ? sma? pider he? t have gotte? ? ? ree.? t then, ? ? ective flashes into his, and I'mying? h th? ? , which is attached ? ebbi? ? index finger. It cl? bac? ? ? fin? ip, and I can feel i? mall weight before I vic? ly crush it into the sheet. I can fe? ario? iny crac? and? ? the spider's va? s bo? ? ? ? ture und? ? ? ure I'm applying to the ? ? ? />
That's the second time th? eek ? ? ? eamed about ? in general and spiders ? articular. What I di? mention in the ? dre? ost was ? ? oke rom the ? t part of th? eam because somehow, the gia? pider (I mean like 3 feet ac? ? ? one of ? e fa? pes) that helped me rob the hot dog stand had lost all its legs and was falling onto me from above. I was in my bed, and I h? o ba? to the side (way heavy), on? o se? ski? y in? he dark under one of my pillows.? oke up, and was ? aranoid ? ? pil? that I coul? ? to sleep for al? an ? ? />
I hate spiders.? ? le="clear:both; padding-? om:0.25em">
posted by Hugh VanDerG? ? p; # 2:10 PM? p;0 Comments
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May 23, 2006
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? nig? ? ? ith a scam.
I? colludi? ith ? her guy, a g? spider, a g? scorpion, a? , and a strange watermel? rick? ear-type? ? ? ame ? her guy for the robbery of a giant hot d? haped fo? tand? />
We ? ? ough it,? near the en? ? hing wen? ong, so we only made away with around $360,000, half of ? we'd planned to take. I had to get ? ? ? the? s were a? ing ? ible onl? black cartoon-like silh? tes ? ? ery early morning rain--? ything else was dark? e and the ro? ? ? ? h headli? ), and I had to depend on fa? ? to hide from them. The key one ? really got me away was (x+2)(x-3), whic? st let me walk out onto the road? ween the? ? s and make a run? theds. Looking back, I could se? r patsy all lit ? ith his hand? ? anding i? ont ? he end of the giant hot dog.
Once in the woods and in? hack, I was ? ing with the scorpio? ? pide? he f? , the in? , and th? her guy. The infant was insisting th? he g? hould be? en a sma? ? , sithe ? came an? (he? the? ? on the job), wh? uddenly the guy isn'? anding at th? ont ? ? more--he? tanding ? the infant with? foot fi? planted on the kid's th? and a g? ? ed at his forehead. ? took care of that. Until th? uit, spider, and scorpio? arte? guing am? t themse? , th? gs caini? hat the frui? st, like...l? here? tead of exploding to create a distraction like he wa? ? ? o, a? he f? ? ing ? a d? action on his pa? asn't ne? ary, the giant bugs were good enough. This ended in an all-out f? in which bo? ? pider and the scorpi? epeatedl? ied ? ting/poison the frui? o no avail.
I wok? , then found? elf in a? k shack with only a ? slight outline of l? in front of me, which grew slig? wider. A small ? ? ? he f? thi? o co? ? ? he gap--a re? old? hioned Derri? ? e pistol. Th? ? ! He probably had someone coming? ? he f? of the shack to ambush me! So I grabbed the? tol, twisted it ? fro? hea? he old m? hot the guy creeping up behind, ? ested th? ? ? he old man, ? him, ra? tsid? hot the othe? ? tside the shed, ? the oth? wo guys ? he o? shed in behind mine, ra? ound the side of that shed, ? the? I found there, ran ? , sh? he o? 2 g? he back ? hat shed, ra? t of ammo, and just made a flat-out run for it, all ? hich? pened within 30 seconds. Luc? ? ? ? ch-black? side, the moon being the only illumination.
I mad? ? t the third shed? ? ? one noticing? lea? ntil I h? he f? ? ch of th? ge old house, where the ? shining ful? rength. Once? ? p on that porch,? as a? ting duck until I made it inside, so I decided just to go fo? and ran up the stairs, acro? ? orch? ? s ba? grazing me, and? o the house, where it was once again, pitch black. And full ? eople. I sidled ? ? ? ? he darkness, stig to the dee? sha? , making it through the parlor into the kitchen, whe? here? e no people.? tead? here? e giant ? ter/tick? ? ing thin? brids. Like 2 feet long and all ? the place. ? ied to f? ? t a way ? ake care of them? ? ? ? ing attention, a? aw a big orange cool? ? ? h a counter, so ? ? , hoping there'd be room enough to fit all of those things. Managed ? ick one up a? ut it in the cooler, only to be ? rise? he damn thing was shaking and ji? ing like the lob? -thing inside was .
? as making a lot of noise, so? aid to myself, "scre? --maybe I'll be ? ? the only one who made it wi? he l? t body c? ever," and ? as at th? ? that I realized that I was in a video game, like Halo or Half-Life.? tead, I ? slipped? the? chen door on? he back porc? here the moon was al? hining full-forc? lid ? ? he back ? he house, listening ? ? ? ing and creaking of the ? ? ? ? ? feet, makin? re nobody ha? awled under the ? e. It was when I? almost ? he f? ? ? hen I remembered--shit! The covering? ? ? ? ? ! I'd ha? o risk it again. Great. Nothing for it--? ? ? o th? ont ? , feelin? ? s whizz ? ast my back,? ? he door open, and di? eared in? he darkness.
The parl? as e? . WTF? Nobod? ound? range...but ? e ? ? case off to the right in the back of the room. That ? lea? to the second f? and the? er, ? ? ? ? e go? as. So I wen? er a? ? ed climbing the stairs, but before long, I heard voices--all the people ? he f? floor had migrated ? ? econd floor. Great..? what? So I decided ? ? something over the railing onto the? st f? and see if I couldn't get e? one to go do? here. I found an old piece of wood, ? ed i? erboard, and waited ? ? hadows, lying on my side on the stairs. Three people? eared went down.? aited...and nothing more. So? ? ed crawling up--? to see ? the? ire floor was bare. ? e were only three people? />
So quickly, I f? hed the climb and reached the tower, only to find this huge troll-li? erso? ? tanding ? nd. He looke? , smiled, and said, "Oh, hello, ? e. Here it is--I mad? re it was nice and clean? ? !" He handed over th? trange-looking key, which looked like a thin? agonal golden rod about 5 in? long that had g? es cut a? ? ay aroun? the end. He? ed over, and the? as a small g? wall behind him, with a hole in it,? o whI in? ? he key a? urne? . The glass ? of disappeared,? I n? ? to see ? ? on the other side.
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May 22, 2006
? ? le="clear:both;">I spe? ? hole night on th? n.
I ? waking up and falling back asleep again? ? ery time I d? hat I wound up in a scenario that had the same basic? pose? n. Mainl? ? his guy named David Sagi? ius. He ran ? huge co? ation that h? ? ils ? ywhere, call? he Zodiac Corp., and eve? ingl? eam I found myself in in? ed a? ? el e? night, some? ? range compan? , and a ? ? ort, which involved going to a diffe? ? poration and asking for sanc? y. I'm not going? o detail because? st, I don't reme? all of it, and second, it'd be ? ge long ? which I don't have time? this morning.
I ? emember being in the CEO's office an? plaining the? uati? o him. His name was Jack Whistle, and he? ured me ? things would be dea? ith. Some underling came up and said that a ? ation ha? isen at a satellite office, with evidence that David Sagitta? ? ? ? ible. Jack looke? me and said, "Well, the? ? ime in e? CEO's life ? e he? to go and deal with things ? erson," ? e go a helicopter and...? 's it.
Th? nny thin? that I ? thinking about it as the season finale of m? ? ? ? ? ? time of year, last night had the right atmosphere a? it, some an? s finally came, a reckoning is o? s way, etc. Througho? he n? the? ere ? e little? es in each d that related ba? o something I'd dreamed ? t earlier in the year (as in since last May ? o), and it just seems like I've been hunted ? ? ame ? on i? dreams for all ? e mo? ? />
It sounds like ? pical FO? ama, though. I looke? the Zodiac ? ? ion, and they're an aerospace coy th? ? t of the Zodiac ? ? hich? a larger focus on a? pace and? ine technology in general. I tho? that was kind o? nny, considering tho? trange-looking f? er jets ? I e? ? ed in th? eam after the Wa? ? Mill incident. It just feels li? tuff? ually ca? ? her and unified ? ain drea? hat I've had in a ve? trange a? et clichéd way.
Funny old thing, life.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 2PM 0 Com? ? pan> ? pan ? s="item-? rol blog-adm? id-241070731">
? 20, 2006
Blade, only wi? t th? ? ? ing.
Something big was going down, and I was ? his big fancy hotel lobb? ea (? ? ? er been ? he H? in DC, you ? what I mean, on? his was done up in lots of golden marble? acing along ? spended walkway with big? sh carpeting. I had two friends down on the ? om level, whom I? ? ee a? o whom I called out ? ? ering lo? . They heard and stopped wal in ? ? ection, coming around to? mall stairway that connected my level to a l? ? el a? o th? ound floor, ? e I met them. We huddled and whi? ? ? ly for a moment,? il I? an olde? ? anding off in the distance, on a raised ? in the middle of the floor. Bald with a fringe ? hite hair, a? quoise jacke? er dark blue flannel, faded jeans. A vampire? />
I could feel him talking in my head, which I don't reme? much of? her than the? ds "half-breed" ? hough please? e I haven't watched Blade in forever), which was appa? ? rue of m? eam-self. He? abo? o co? me, except...he con? ed, turned black, and rose o? he ground, engulfed in flames. I looked upwa? o an? er level, where I could see ? ? andi? here. I can't rememb? hat he looked like, but he a? tly vanished and reappeared ? he dais ? he ground level. I immediate? urned and ra? life, appearing and? appearing li? he o? ? had? mpin? ? pot ? pot, 20 or 30 feet a? ? />
I looked back a? aw him catching ? o me, so ran? ter. The? as a? artment ? ? the end of the lobby, and I knew that if I ? ? he o? ? eshold of th? ore, I'd be safe from th? her ? ire, except he'd? ? ? ? o me, so I h? o re? ? dodge him, ? ing a few feet back, then diagon? to the ? then fo? d again ? ? uch. I finally made ? o the threshold, crossing a three-fo? hick line of white marble set among ? n marble, on? o ha? he dream shift again? />
The? as a? that happened, tran? ? ? eople with cancer, movie? his one guy in a? ? uit who stole th? perman "S" design for his chest,? it was fill? ith green fl? and he was like? ? hero or something, a competition? candy, printing? an IOU for Dana on my new orange shirt,? t...a lot of? ff jumbling toge? , often ? owing charac? or ? line? om dream? om earli? hat night. Just a long, strange night.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 2:08 PM 0 Com? ? pan> ? pan ? s="item-? rol blog-adm? id-241070731">
May 18, 2006
So then I fell asleep and dream? hat I wa? ivin? ound? ing Hill, lookin? apartments.? arently the town had? ? ? his area that was all about ? t complexes, and the? ere some nice ones a? ome old,? t of grody ones. I final? ettled on th? eally nice-looking a? ? ? er, but the parking lot was full, so? ound up circling the building a ? le of times before findi? his parking garage a? arki? here. Walked over and in? he build? then I wasn? ure ? to do, until I saw ? nch of kids ? looked ? ely fami? (remember, ? is Spring Hill) walking up to a table in the co? of the lobby to the left of the doo? ? ? ered. Th? ere picking ? his form and? ing en masse into this corrid? o the left of the re? ioni? ? k.
So I grabbed a? er, ? teri? ice ? ywhere, and followed? ? n't long before I re? ? hat ? e was an orientation/q&a? sion going on regarding the ? ibility of living there, and what with being dea? his woul? help me much. So I ? walking, passing clusters o? ilding emplo? that looked at me as I ? ed. ? e was a bunc? anding outsi? he Facilities' S? visor's office, then ano? bun? tanding ? to the front desk of the Plant Manager before I went through a back door and emerged in? ? unshine again. F? ing ? the? er I had might answer an? estions I ha walked out to my car and got ready to leave, on? ? n into Nachelle and ? iend. She laughed and said, "Oh, man, again?? We kee? nning into each other!" So I asked h? ? ? as here, didn't she already have a house? Th? ? all windy and c? sing and I lost her ? onse in the chao? hen woke up. It was 5:04 a.m? />
Back to sleep. I was on the? h floor of T? ? ith a couple of ? le, and ? had to ? ? here? t I need? ? op a? roo? o th? ook the ? ? , while I to? ? ? s wi? ? to ? up ? he f? floor. When? alked in? ? ? well, this g? old ? hat ? e was a ? irement: I h? o de? ? e some kind ? ? abi? on the way down? at ? t 6 floors i? der to make ? o the bottom. Uhm...? . So? ort of climb? p on? ? ailing a? uspended? elf ? that empty space in the center ? ? ? case as ? ound? ? ? ard, dropped my ? to the floor below, landed,? ng out again? opped down onto the floor below ? , ale way down. ? ? ay, I passed Mic? ho a? ual seem? o ha? ? hing? chy ? ay a? ? ouldn't get out ? ? ay, so I? t di? thi? ithout being concerned a? whe? or not I hit her, and b? e long, I was on the? st f? before ? ? ealized I was there.
So I wal? t an? ? ns o? here are? coke machines a the wall ne? o the door leadi? o th? ? ay, and ? e's ? nch ? eople there. The? st one I see is ? ine leading her coterie of...fri? . She looks at me, and her irise? e totally black, which kind of freaks me? . She says nothing, so I don? ay anything either, and move? to the ? er of the first floo? here? ass ? her blac? ed girl, this one a brunette, and I think to? elf Whoa...th? ? ? lying.
So then I wake up at 7 a.m. and determine ? ? be it's ? ? ? th going back to sleep. Too ? annoying people.
2:07 PM 0 Comments
? 16, 2006
Then the dre? ? s to? ery nice? tle old ? ? oss a small rounble with coffee ? on it. She has a little whi? oodle clasped to? side, and is telling me that the do? named "Lim." I then tell her something (can? emember ? ), a? he g? , loses all cheeriness, and orders me to write down ? ? aid ? he c? rove the? ? o a specific? son. Thi? ? somng I want to do,? arently, so I manage to forc? self to wake up. My ? t though? pon waki? ere, "Good, she's not there anymore, I d? ? e to write it down."
Odd, though. Second night in? ow.
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May 15, 2006
? ? le="cleath;">Strange..? as a bunch of di? ent ? le last night. Only slig? remember one, a? ome ? he o? ? />
The? ? hing? emember ? his guy in a store aisle? t no? ch else. Then the la? hing? emember ? his ? . The size i? ? flexible. I? his young la? ith ? t ha? ? ? a bed next to a long wi? e be? built into the hull of the ? and is enclosed by ? rtain. P? ? ? ? . Lightning ? hes and I see a face? of the window, and ? ano? ? ? oman who's got my (dream-self's) fac? ? dead-white with black hair. She? sts through ? indow, arching over my body,? nging a knife deep into ed, barely missing me, b? hinking she got me, ? inues to blow through th? rtai? o co? o a rolling ? on the floo? tside.
She th? roceeds to massacre ? yone she comes a? s, but f? ome ? on has no ti? o get to everyone. My consciousness shif? o her, b? here? ? hing? angely..ebraic...abo? ? aste of her mind, so? etreat a? tle bit,? t to see? run? oss the deck and over the edge, ? ing ? pace, fe? ? her and pointed down? ? prea? t wide like ? oss, the wind lashing the rain against her, and the lightning si? etting her brill? ly and addin? s gl? o the ra? ops dancing ? nd her, befo? he d? ? o the water.
When she? s, I snap back into her head, and I think that I've got to g? ? boat before the sni? find me. I ? underwater for two ? tes before deciding ? safe to? urface and make a flat-o? wim for the ? . The boat is ha? tatistic? o if I just get behind it, bulle? ill ? ? s through and no? will see me? 's a small, pure-whi? owbo? hat appears to be the on? eal, def? e thing ? he middle of the gray in the? er a? ? ky. I slithe? t of the? er and into the ? ? ? I hear the ? t shot being? eezed off, and immediate? oll ? he o? side of the ? , tippin? over al? to the point of? sizing, ? ting in its math? ical? ure ? rotect me.
Th? the? t thing I remember.
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May 11, 2006
? ? le="clear:both;">Okay, so the drea? ? off? h me in a van wi? ome folks. We're? posed to be delivering n? ? ? ? ? />
So ? ull ? o th? ? hat decent house and? ? p to the door to drop off the newspaper,? someone ope? he door ? as I get there, and it's Marcia, this lady ? e fa? went to my parents'? rch for a while and who ? ? o teach sign to for her kid, had CP. She's all HI! and i? es me in, and we start just talking and catching up. She brings me o? o the pool behind the house ? e there's a bunch of kids having? ool ? y, and I keep thinking, "Oh man...what a? the folks in the van? E? hey can ? a few m? es..? />
Whi? e're talking, a ? le of ol? iends, Joey and Dana, sh? p, and Dana's re? friendl? t Jo? quiet and doesn? ay much, so ? st i? e him and ta? ith Marcia and Dana ? ead. It's not until the sky ? s da? hat I re? e th? here are people ? ing for me outside. So I? , oh I gotta go, and I go ba? ? ? he house? the front door, only to see that the place has transmogrified into ? huge mansion with an enormous cobblestoned parking lot out front filled? h people? looks a? t like a? en-air concert, ? ? omehow know ? the president is going to be there.
The set s li? his: the front door is on this balco? hat's like 40 feet above the? king? , with handi? ed-a? ? yle ? s leading off to the left, and I can? ely see the van out beyo? he edge ? he crowd. The ramp i? ll of se? ? vice agents, so I climb up onto the wall lining the ? and walk alit, often making 20-? jumps and landing o? feet to mak? ? n to the? t level, which happens 3 tim? o get do? o th? ound. After the middle jump,? ee Joey and Dana again, heading ? from th? owd ? ? elves, a? hen ? mp down ? he ground, a? t on? of the ? ident.
I apol? e to the president a? ? ecret service, only ? ? ? eople I came? h in the? ner of m? ? unning around and gestic? ing wild? ? ? his huge cha? ? tha? r va? pare? ? ned into, and th? , like, it.
Tsk.
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May 6, 2006
Then once I dill asleep, I started dreaming for the first time in a while. It basically in? ed my moving? of my a? ? and back into my pa? s' house, with one key e? tion: th? artment was in T? A at RIT. A? ? ? ? ? een. And I had a closet with two dre? ? ll o? ap. I was going ? ? o move e? thin? t an? he house at once? t re? ? hat with my ? tment being 128 floors above the ground, it might be? t to? ? ? adually as my mo? had sug? ed.
So yet mo? hemes....high pl? and? pare? , RIT-relate? uff.? ange.
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May 1, 2006
? ? le="clear:both;">Nothing new here. I continue to have dreams, but nothing real? orth talking about--? ly either person? tuff or run-? he-mill stuff, like a co? ition between Kim an? self on who can type the? ? (I got ? o 920 words per ? te!) and my watch. Reall? he g? ? erin? ? ch face had so many nicks and scratches ? the face was ob? ed--but ? if you looked a? in the right lighting conditions. If no? ? ocked and scarre? rface of my watch was totally invisible, and the gla? as c? as...well, ? s. In a ? d viewpoint, the damage was visible,? it'? rned to water, like the ocea? een from hundreds of fee? could see boats sailing through the face of ? atch, the digital portion of the? ion dial flashing through underneath the? face--I have this one
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 2:03 PM 0 Comm? ? an>
? an c? ? em-c? ol blog-admin pid-241070731">![?]()
April 23, 2006
? ? le="clear:both;">I? esting dream? t now. It in? es just me, at f? , riding a motoc? bik? 200 mph? ough the woods, trying desperate? o get there before a hel? ter and to make ? funeral on time at ? ? holic church because som? rang? ju is about to go down and I? e to sto? . When I? there, Kim's there, and she and I have to go in and? in the front row. There's an al? ? ? ? feel to the who? hing? 's a funeral? a guy aroun? r age, and his mom i? tremely wealthy with? ery strange ? ? />
feel a 5-year-oid crying somewhere, so ? en m? es and look up. The ? h th? as drape? ? he crucifix sudd? ? one? ner standing? aigh? , being pull? ? d toward this long, wide beam that bisec? ? oom dire? over the altar.
I ca? st barely make o? ? hape of somethin? lling the cloth up a? ? ? s to mak? s wa? ward? really is a? tle kid. Nobody else is noticing because their eyes are ? ? t I came prepared wi? his champagne glass from a friend's wedding. I jump ? ery ? ily, making ? yone open their ? and see what's going on, walk over ? he a? , and dip the glass ? he holy water.
The water won'? ay in the glass. It imme? ely spills out, dribblin? ? here. Finally, I bre? ? tem off ? he g? and? t plunge the? l in? ? ? , fill i? , and hold i? to ? ? it ? hat's playin? ound? h the cloth, shout a? ? ds (not sure what I said), and only then? ice ? the holy water y glass has turned into blood.
The priest ? ts handing o? ? s to people ? hinks we? articularly ? e, a? ince? he ? , I'? age ? onsible for today" and b? se I? itting in th? ont row, I must ? eally close to him, so I? ? ? . I realize ? ? ? her lived a really bad life until she married this g? ? her, and the priest ? s this and dislikes her for it, so I? Kim to ? the? er down the row to her.
F? >ne?? ? le="clear:both; padding-? om:0.25em">
? il 21, 2006
? clablog? ">
? of inte? ing dreams last night.
-An old couple's home ? they left open for the neig? kids to sho? t through. In th? eam I've don? all my life and? e to do so again at my current age f? easons as yet undisclosed, b? he last time I d? , I stic? ound because the old lady has ma? ecan pie and offered me some, an? ? ld b? ? o refuse, according to her old Chinese husba? ? ? ion. As their do? ies ? lobber all over me, ? ? ? ? reciation for the way th? ? ened their house, and th? ? hat when they were kids,y needed the same thing, so didn? ? ? hey ? ldn't pa? he f? on.
-Can? idden mobile home pa? ? on the water wi? ons of cats and ? rricane comi? hat creates huge? es. Swimming? ? and? s of swampings a? andering around the maze of canals and mobile homes. My mom's relatives are ? e and we all leave in a large va? here I demonstra? he n? 's common theme,? ? that looks like a c? hell? e, b? nfolds a? nfolds in tons of di? ent conf? ations of screen and/or keyboard? to a large PADD tablet like fro? ar Trek or Toshiba.
-A large faci? used for worldgating, and I've brok? ? al i? stellar ? and need to escape ? ? , which incl? an old interpreter of mine. I have ? un from the top floor do? o th? ound floor down ? brillia? hite pla? stairca? ith circ? haped landin? o im? e the worldg? themselves. I make ? o th? ound floor, ? to find? tha? ? ? ? ? staked out the ? exit an? waiting to catch me, and another security guard is right on? of me, until I tell him that the in? reter has 7 pounds of ma? ana ? hed ? in her office, and he goes to apprehend? , leaving me to ? cot-free? />
-A tree-woman named? ath and her younger ? her, Beloth, at ? et, ? his...enormo? ree the size of a world.? ? le="clear:both; padding-? om:0.25em">
? il 12, 2006
? class="blog? ">
I was IMing back and? ? ith Rob while Kim was hangin? t. Suddenly, he ? something I don't get, so I? I'l? st come ? so he can explain it in? son. Kim and I get into ? ? ? ing machine, and we ? e off in? ? ? ntil we see ? ? ? dina? tall ce? ? ? ? he big metal pole ki? ith the usua? iang? ? enna on top, and we land on ? bal? near the antenna.
We walk in, and there's th? eally pale guy lying on a bed, naked and looking? ? ery sick. We ask Rob what the deal is, and he sa? he guy is his fa? , and he's dying. Wow...bummer. ? , so he ? , "L? go down to the ? t floor, I need ? alk to my mom," and almo? ? away, he and Kim di? ear down the stairwell. A male nurse? ? ? of nowhere and ? ? endi? o th? y on the bed. I ? t walking on? n, but it's ? iral stairca? traight down the? e of the? er, painted pure white and just winding, winding, winding. A? a few f? s, I start falling aslee? reg? ? ervals and it feels like I'm sliding? n instead of walking? ? liding down ? womblike white warm tube. When I'm awake, I? ng, ? gh, and ? y single floor I? s has a ? of an a? e with 2 floor-l? h wi? s that each have? eally co? table chair in f? of them? />
Around 14 f? ? ? ? op, I ge? ? s and check it out--the ? is staggering. ? e somehow above the ? ds, but ? ythi? so green. There are small ta? ? t to each chair, and they've? books on them. I ge? ...e? floor in th? ? ? ? eadi? oom with incredible ? s! I like th? lace? e and more.
So I go back ? ? ? s an? ? ? ame thing again: walk down a? ple of f? ? ? ? a few, wake up, walk down, sleep, a? ? ? o the bottom. Once I? there, I cafind? her Rob or Kim, but after looking for a bit, I find them in ? ? ing room that was behind the stairwell. My a? ? 's couch is ? here, and Kim's on i? eading The Light ? astic? ome.? h say no, we're ? ing for Rob's mom to come home. So I? ? de, ? like you live in the Tower of Sauro? something.
*pop*? ake up.2:02 PM 0 Comm? ? an>
? an c? ? em-c? ol blog-admin pid-241070731">![?]()
April 11, 2006
? ? le="clear:both;">Ah...I'm ? ing ? er a? cid dreaming? />
It mostly in? ed having a bunch of people ? to my house? a g? ? her,? tly involvin? aying the night and watching? ies and eating jand ? ? ing a go? ime in g? al. The ? et here was ? the? ? ? hing in my blood that made me nigh on to unkillable,? ? rong, an? tremely ? . Th? ? he coole? art, because in the dream, I decided to ? around a little? , so I c? ? his ? p of? ernment assassins to come after me, including th? tly ? weight, balding guy who had the same abilities I did? />
On? hey were taken out, I kept moving ac? to the lawn where, to my right, the? ? h the sa? ? s I did was climbing a ladder, but I grabbed the hem of his slacks, yanked him down so he met th? ound on ? foo? hen pulled it--and h? bod? traight up, ? ting the hem of the ? leg at the same tim? hich? ulted in? whole body ? ting around so his head was pointing? ard the ? nd. Then I just slammed his skull di? ly into the pave? , feeling the eggshell crunc? hen pulled h? p and threw him side? ? oss the concrete? ? ing pillar next ? he garage, d? oying hi? ine ? in case? ? almost ? oonish.
The last thing I reme? is running into the? se, ? ting, "THEY'RE COMING IN THROUGH THE SKYLIGHT!" Then I looke? in the skyl? , saw his face, and jabbed my middle finger upward at him. That'? ? br />In one ? e, I'm i? ested in? ing out luci? eaming, but in another, I li? hem random. But ? 've been kind of? ing lately, so...I dunno. See-see.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 2:01 PM? p;0 Comments
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April 10, 2006
All I ? ? o do? find a bowling alley. Why did I? e to? ? t?
It wa? g before I got lost,? ning off the hig? and followi? his road? o the woods, figuring that if worst comes to? st, I kn? here this connecting road wa? o I could al? ? t ta? hat way if all else failed. But I wound up going deeper and ? er into the wood? assing ancient g? tations ? ing ? ? nds. Night had falle? ? ? hing? ? k. Finally, I ga? p an? lled ove? arking on the side of the road i? ont ? his big gree? se-looking building in f? of which a ton of cars were? ked. I knew ? ? where a bunch of deaf kids met ? larly; maybe they could ? me out.
Once? ? o th? ilding, ? ened the? al-framed, c? gated-plastic-paneled door a? ent in, ? ? seemed like? as i? ? ing ? meeting. The kids--all my age, were? ting on chairs and at ta? like an audience in front of this g? ? ? peaking ? he g? . Th? ere all the trailer-? ? ype, what we'd call hillbill? here? e any hills in Florida. ? ut me in mind of a Nazi rall? a KKK conclave,? ? hrugged it off and found an ? y chair ? he back. The buildin? self? ? t one bi? ? pace, plastic on? al framing on top of a b? lab of c? ete. The? ? ome decoration on the walls,? tly ? ? and? ff f? he "deaf? b" or wh? er, although the kid speaking seemed to ? ? resi? ? t di? sign.
So I looked a few ? ? er a? ? his hard of ? ing kid I knew in middle school,? is, and his ? le brother, who looked a? t identical. Before long? ? ? ermission, a? he kid i? ont of me had taken an i? est in me had black spiky hair and a red? ? , and he wanted to know if I wanted to check? ? ? . I said, "N? hanks, I'm kind of lost,? ? ou help me out?" He looked kind of d? pointed,? ugged, a? aid,? least check thi? t," and handed me what looked like flower clippers, but made from shsteel and the bl? ? e ve? traight, sharp, and pointy. "Play wi? his for a while--I gotta do something for a few, ok?" he said, a? hen took off? />
Okay...so I started playing? ? a little bit and walkin? ound. After a minute or two,? ent back? ide the building, where t this kind of cute girl who signed. We ? ted talking, and things were goi? ? y we? ntil I asked? , "So...? ? e yo? om? Are you local?" She looked at me, an? ? aid, "I don't know..."
Uh, okay. ? then, it was time f? he meeti? ? art agai? o I decided to give ? bun? p fobad job and tried to find the kid who gave me the clippe? o I could gi? hem back? t there was ? ign of him. The speaker aske? eryo? o sit down, so I? behind ? pair of? s who we? itting at a table, and ed at them? ? hey looked at me. The one I spoke to had an insi? he-eearing aid and h? his slig? mocking? erious look on his face.? er a? min? of going in? ? about "? ? , you know, ? ? who? e me this, he sat right ? there, can you give him these c? ers when? see him, I really gotta go, what do? mean, n? hat's not hi? ou know who I'm talking ? t, l? t give h? his, what? no, he? me look at ? e, I need to? e them back to him" and so on and so? th.
R? around ? time, I started to realize ? something here ? ? n't right. So I ? ? ? he c? ers ? ? able in front of him? ood up, and walked out. The room wen? iet ? as I walked? the door, but I didn't take? ? ice until I tried to fin? ? . No sign of it ? here. There were plenty of cars ? looked similar,? ? imil? ear ? ? their headl? s we? esponding to my remote. Not mine, though. Finally, I? nd one, but ? as in the middle of the lawn? h a bunch of? s be it, blocking the wa? t. I figured I could dri? ell ? ? o ma? er it between all th? her ? , until I noticed a flickeri? hadow on the oth? ide ? he car, and immedately d? ? o th? ound to look underneath and see if I? ld bust someone ? he act of screwing around.
No sig? thing there...so? tood up and tried the door handle--only ? ealize it was th? ong kind? ? a freakin' ? a 88 Oldsmobile, like the kind my si? used to drive. Totally off...an? this point,? ealized ? I had found? elf ? he kind ? ituation that yo? ually think ? only make movies ab trapped in the wood? our means of escape ? ? ically blocked, ? al and/or physic? ? re....and I had ? com? ely give? ay my on? eapon! That kid was prob? ? uall? ying to help me. ? id!
So I ? ? oss the stre? o what looked like a? -phone box in a ? ? ch attem? o find my car--is actually an ignition box, which meant basically that I? ? tick my key in i? urn it, and ? ould remotel? art my car i? ? ? hin 100 ? . The first time? ried, nothing happened. The seco? ime, the engine turned over, and I immediate? pun ? ? o look for it. Nothing. So I? ned back to the box--and? iced? the? ? ime ? e was an old white building behind it. All along the ground ? e the wall came down, there were piles a? ? of stuff, and on top of? ? ? ? e paintings I'd done. One was a painting I'd only tho? abo? ? before,? the others were? ual, and? ? ed getting very c? ed out. ? had been fo? ing me f? hat long? />
Suddenly, I? ? y pissed off, and th? ? ? ime ? hich? erio? beg? o think ? ? ? uation. ? ? o those hillbillies were goi? ? ? ith me? Maybe screw ? ? ith me a? tle bit, show me pictures of my family being? up?? ? it was time to ? ? actly wh? hey had ? ped ? ? cheap, tree-filled ? ? orld. Ti? ? ? hem down, on? one, and to? ? ? ? of ? e. My on? egret was losing those c? ers,? ? as a? s good at im? ? ion.
So I? ned ? nd a? ent back? o the meeting house, considering? I m? ? ner one ? hem, which body ? s I ? ld f? on, whe? ? hould do the? embowelment ? ? ? ? ? ario? ros and ? of differen? ? of ? pened plastic (if no? al a? nati? as available), only to find ? the spa? as d? ted.? ? ? ty. ? ign of life ? ? er. So I spi? ound? ? t again, and realize that there's a vide? cade adjoini? he meeting house, which I totally di? ? ice. It's blocked of? a chain-link fence,? the? ? arking l? here, so I head ? hat direction, having to go out ? ? oad again in ord? o be able to go ? ? he fence? st as I enter the parking lot, a? her and her ? le boys come walking? ? ? he arcade, a? he kids are all ? y, having had a ly good time? />
So I'm ? ? arking lot, and I lo? ? d th? ilding, and realize ? e's ? nkyard behind th? cade. Maybe ? 's a pla? ? art...
And I sudd? wak? ? igh* that could have been interesting...? ? le="clear:both; padding-? om:0.25em">
2:01 PM 0 Com? ? pan> ? pan ? s="item-? rol blog-adm? id-241070731">
? il 8, 2006
? ? le="clear:both;">So last n? , I was a demon.
Well, I ? looked the ? ? ill lived a normal life, and went to? ch Garde? ith ? arents a? his ? d kid I used to ? from elemen? school, Ell? . El? t's kind of ? prick, you ? ? I ? kind of looked like Hel? ? />
I wa? ed ad Egypt for a while, before deciding to head back and find my pa? s in this large,? ered? ? ? ith escalators. I sat on this bench while a larg? owd ? ? ing ? , until I finall? otte? ? ? , who were accompanied by another deaf man. ? failed to notice me? ting there--odd because I wag and re? o I got up and followed them. On? hey noticed I was there, my dad dragged me into the ? est building, shoved me into the? hroom, a? howed me the? ror,? ching me? about going? in public alone? ? telling them.
I wasn? oo h? abo? hat and told him I had let them know I was heading to? pt, and ? ay it wa? that big of a deal.? ? eople gave me weird looks, b? hat was it--nobo? ? hat afraid or angry.? t then, ? ? ueen came through the bathroom door, took a look at us, apol? ed, and ? bac? t. Just then, I noticed a fat ol? y in a crowd in the ? ance wearing? e nettin? er a wifebeater and ? e sh? , and pointed hi? t to my dad,? ing ? if something like that could go out ? ubli? hy couldn't I? Of course, he? ghed and? ove? , so we all decided ? ? ime to leave and head for Be? ? />
So he got in his ca black 1992 Lincoln), I got in mine (uni? ifie? ? hing), and my mom got in? ? hite 2003 Impala), a? e took off in this l? drizzle in a co? . We? on the interstate and headed north (the? ual Bern's is south of Busch? ? , and you wouldn't need the interstate) in a? aight line. nge thin? ere ? ening--my fa? ? driving? too? t and reckle? , ca? ere ? ving and spinnin? t, I? ? ting? ? , and El? t had materi? ed out of no? e in my ? enger seat.
Just then, an old? ahead o? ? ? t be? ? dad had? him off so ? ely he h? ? ply the brakes as hard and fast ? ossible with? able? ? . I managed to avoid him? t after I was past, I saw that my mom wa? uck behind him. ? asn't long b? e I was ? ing ? ? ? ens and ? ing at my rearview, maki? ure nothing was taking m? ? ? e. Just then, I saw a fire engine on the? ? e side of the in? tate? s si? going, and a helico? coming down. I sped up, my mother close behind,? ing to g? ast the ? before ? ere stuck in the long line o? affic blocke? the emergen? ehicles, only to be ? rise? ? air ? oldiers ? ? oad.
? ? e markin? t a chalk line in the road, and motioned? us ? top. Once I did ? , I rolled down ? indow an? ked why we h? ? op, and one ? ? oldiers said that a heli? ? as going to land on the other side of the chalk line, and th? e were l? because we had ? ont-row ? . I quickly explained to him that we had a 7 p.m. re? ation in Tampa, and if he would ? be so kind ? o le? go, it would be awesome and I'd toast him if we mad? in time. He tho? about it, a? aved? h of us through ? in time--I could see the helicopted practic? coming down on the roof of the ? e Impala? />
Nig? as mostly fallen by ? point, ? hings we? ? hat hard to see, so ? ? ice ? I had come to a red lig? ntil it was almo? oo late. This was be? e the light was so f? and? k that it looked like the power was failing. Fin? , the signal showed ? een arrow for the lane next to me, but nobody moved because ? asn't visible--just ? faint dark greeudge aga? an almost-black background, and it ? to yellow a? t immediately, flickering like c? before moving back to green, and then final? ? ignal for me to go ahead came on? ? ? so dark that I was ? ous ? t going ahead. A? a f? econds, I decide? ? o do it, only to see an ? lanc? irens screaming but lights off, heading stra? ? me ? ? peed? />
2:00 PM 0 Com? ? pan> ? pan ? s="item-? rol blog-adm? id-241070731">
? p;
April 6, 2006
And then I? goi? p again, punching through th? ? here, the la? of ? ? eeling away and ? s (or wh? ? orld it was)? t ahead of me like a giganti? ay-green pearl betwe? ? trea stars.
A? e to remember.
1) I'm? ting on a dock on the water with two old fri? . We're talking and ? 're tryi? o get me to ? wimming with them. I won't g? e of all the electronic ? ? sually have ? ? ? son. Fin? , I relent a? ay I'm doing to do a special? e in? ? ? . I stand poised on the edge of the dock, and leap off. And ? and leap and leap, ? ing like a feather on the wind, higher and highe? ntil I look up a? eali? he ceiling Iorgotten about i? ill ? e. I? nce off of it like a helium balloon and tap ? ith 2 fi? s while looking down on my frien? ith a sardon? mile? though I we? aying, "Too bad ? ceiling is here--I could have gone higher!" Then I head? n in? ? ? and make a big splash, but manage n? o ge? all? />
2) I'm the Emperor ? he World, and Bill and Hillary C? on, along with K? Clarkson, have been? ing to a? sinate me for years through the Glam-Blag, a? t of belt that k? people ? ? abdomens come into ? act with the fro? art. They do it off and on, not really cstently, so I don't take them th? erio? . There's sort of a big ? s co? ence going on, a? ? hree of them are? ting behind me, looking ? ? />
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October 16, 2006
Some background info: a ? le of times ? he last few weeks, I've woke? ? eral tim? hile drifting off to sleep a? ealized ? ? e somehow fo? ten how to b? he, so of course? ? breathing again. That, ? a n? ? tle cold I'm suffering from ? e days, was bound to make th? ? ? ting, I ? ose.
So last night, I? falling asleep--had a hard time because? ? aying so muc? ? ion to m? eathing--and I found? elf in my pa? s' house? guing with my mom. I needed to go somewhere,? lace she? n't allowed to know ? t, b? he kept sayi? ? anted to come with me. Finally, ? udgi? , I let her come, al? gh it meant ? ? ould? e to dro? plans.
H? er, whil? iving along, I forgot she was there at all a? ? ed driving o? topilot, heading to the rendezvo? ? ? ddenly, she ? ed me on the shoulder, looking c? sed, and I jumped, completel? artled. Then, chagrined,? aid, "Lo? st need ? ull ? ? e for a while, okay?" "Uh, okay," she said. So I pulled ? ? t to a large, thickly wooded tract of land, and we both got out ? ? ruck? ? then that I? iced? as driving my old blue-a? hite? ck--and ? of hung around.? as keeping m? es on the woods, knowing that th? ould send me? ignal wh? raining was to commence.
It came--sha? ? ms darting from tree to tree. I turn? ? mom, who wa? sy on her cellphone, and told her I had to go take a leak in the woods, and headed in. Once I was through the first line of trees, I? ? ee a hundredple ? o, b? hey were all? ? of some kin? ano? . Not the X-Men kind, the
I walked ? o her and sat down, an i? ? questio? rning in my head. See, it seems ? in order to become one ? hem, I had h? o be infected with a? ? hat ? ied the ability to effect wi? read change ? he g? ic level? ch like Xide, which I've rece? rea? ee how e? thing's relating to stuff I'? een rece? ?), but I was co? ned ? t the thing ? e I forg? ? eathe. So I asked the le? if ? ? ? mal duri? he c? e of the transfo? ion. She nodded and said? 's b? se it takes a little while f? he e? e range of g? ic a? ? ? n their ? se, ? our brai? ? ing to deal with? h the old material a? he new m? ial for a while...in? ween? ing to compe? e for the change? ome signals get ? , and since breathin? somethi? ou do consta? ? apping out one gas for another, ? the one function th? almost always affected duri? ? ? formation. D? ? ry a? it too much? />
So I nodded and thanked? and said I'd be? ? h back, my m? hinks I was ? taking a piss. She said? to ? y about ? , ei? , someone had already taken care of it. So I left the woods, wen? to the truc? old my mom it was ti? o go, and got in. She said, "That took a while...where'd? go?" So? old her ? I had JUST let her ? ? as going to the bathroom and tha? ? n't my f? if she wasn? ayin? ? ion ? eali? hat time it was. And she? ght it.
I gue? hat's all.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 2:14 PM
July 3, 2006
I just reme? ? hat I had a dream last n? where Earth? ? ? ating a celestia? ent.? as outsi? ith someone and ? ere talking, when we? iced? tar ? ? ? hat was moving and growing large? ? qui? . Before long, it became a disk and ? coming. We ? ? there a? atched i? ow larger, curvinside th? bit ? he moon, whi? as full and high in the sky. We were und? andably ? ous--God only kn? hat the ? ? ional ef? s might be.
The most prominent image I rememb? ? atching something that looked like a full pl? go ? ing ? head, occluding the moon and a good half of ? s, all l? ? pinning like mad, a huge? ntai? ominent on i? urfa? olli? ? the? ld, towards us, and ? ? ? so ? e we? ld make out ? ? on the surface. And the? ? gon? apid? hrinking away into a star again.
Then? er, ? eamed that I? ? rying toward something, pogo-ing? ough thi? range ma? e/ba? area before fin? breakin? t on? hese wide, macad? aved? races which led down to an aspha? arking loop (like the on? RIT? h the Sentinel), and stopping be? e I saw Kim, running really ? . I ? ght she was going to beat me, so? tayed, f? ing ? e was no point, ? to see her ? ? again. ? ? hen ? ? ealized ? she? n't running towa? ? hing? st jogging in a circle, ? ? he loop ? and over again, so I kept going. On? hing is, I d? remember where I was going ? o be? e a ? ? pot ? un l? ? gh by the bl? stabbed me dire? in the eye and woke me up.
Damnation.
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June 27, 2006
So? e been having some dreams la? ? t th? end to be so fucked up I don't even feel lik? ying to type the? t and making some sense ? hem.
However...this one I had? t night was ? so goddamn fun.
I? ? off? h me? ing. I mean like? erman. I'm over ? ocean, the sky's cloudless, the sun? hining, the water's ? amazing? e, and I'm flying re? ? and stirrin? thi? ? ake as I? ? erhead. It doesn't feel like I'm? t sliding along through the air--the? some kind o? opulsion? tem involved? e, like my feet are ? ? rocket ? les, exerting some huge,? isible force? allel to my ? . There's a gigantic? ise ? up ahead, but it's painted enti? black, and ? ? chin? ? h this much smaller yach? hich is also painted black. Up ahead, there's a large marble wal? ? ing out ? ? ? and? ving awa? t of sight. ? ? r on the juice and b? my way ahead, o? aking the old lady in the black yacht and making? bob a little in my wake? />
The? ble walkway's entrance i? arde? two bli? omen, and leads to a? t of floating city, although the "floati? art" is stri? ? aphorical--i? ? and it ? n't, and the blind ladie? e the gateke? s. I know I'm not allowed to? over the threshold--whe? ? alk and the water meet--othe? e I'll be killed, so? ? up and ? le down onto the? er, walking ahead. T? omen are on opposite sides of the walk, ? ting? aight ahead at each other with blank eyes. T? oman on the ? is a youngish blond? hile the woman on the right is an oldish black lady. As ? proa? ? ? hold, I see the...sort of emperor of the? ? I'm abo? o enter coming down the walk to ? the old lady, and giving me this lo? hat's making me ? ous. I'm? ? posed to be ? ? ? I'm ? ? sing? ough this co? ? here people have? chic? ers and are ? ? ? laying g? to ? ive. People like me--limited only to the? er of fl? ? e illegal an? st be killed. The old la? are tel? ? ? cree? eryo? hat ente? ? land, b? hey can be fooled.
However, it seems ? my ? presenc? thema to them. S? hing about m? I approach them, no? ter how much white noise I have in my he? o block out thei? ? , makes them suddenl? ithe in pain. Like, goin? ts. The emperor ? this an? ops dead? arin? me. I duck my head down and wait for the old lady from the yacht to? off? boat and wa? ? ? he border so I can g? ? gh. She ? so, and I make ? ? gh, and sudd? I'm? ide. The? ble walkway, which curve? wards in? ? ky, is now curving d? ? ? ough a building with walls made from the same material, with? s of gla? indows. ? dden? emember ? I c? ? ort, and sta? rying to do so. ? ? that I've now e? ed a game fo? own? vival, and it's one ? ? e played many, many times before. I have all of ? e memori? ifti? ? gh my head o? ery time? e done it, and I remember th? act proc? e that I need to go through to g? o th? her side? />
Right around th? ? ? memoriell m? here should be guards ac? ing me, and I should be tele? ing ? from them. However, this time around, nothi? ? pening. I shrug and ? walking? ying to tele? on my own, tryi? o figure it out.? ? ? pro? ? ? eded because eve? ime I pass a? izen, I have to blan? ? mind and fill it wi? hite noi? ntil they pass. However, it isn't long b? e I ? re i? t and manage to materialize ? ? ? of ? gigantic govern? ? alace. It's like the White House? t al? 50 ? ies tall and? ? ? n weathe? stem. In the step in front of me, there's a ? , and I ? that I have to ? ? ? hat ? and? er a tun? ? ? ? h the palace. Th? the? t way through to the oth? ide, and I can leave this co? y and enter Barbar. The ? trouble is, I have to hide from the small battalions of sol? s marching along? oughout the tunnels, because they'll rea? mind and kill me on the spo? hich? ? pened before? />
? , goddammit.? I'm concerned. ? ? er been ? ? y before. Wh? going on? So I tele? to ? neighborhoo? ll of Vi? ian ? es. While I was sneaking? ough the tun? , night fell, so it's all dark outside. My friend who lives ? his one ? ? n't home? t hi? ont ? is open. Not feeling too safe a? going into his ? e while ? ? there (? ? ? ath,? er all),? ait ? ide ? to a car, only ? ? he e? or comin? . He is now ? ting to look? tinctly like Jim? rey. So I'm king to myself, o? ck, ? over, only to have him ? e a huge sigh and lean again? he car himself.
So I ask him ? the deal's been so far today. Nothing much has ? ened, and I can ? ? ough really easily. He confides in me that, ? ? he game is a? ive and ? ns from each time you pl? ? gh, and second, ? ? ing ? top the whole ga? layi? hing and? ? n his military. ? ble is, his ? ? hink the mil? ? absolutely n? ? in order to keep th? safe the way they are--? don't know ? ? stand th? hings don't have to ? his way. So ? ? ical? ? ed, and the ? thing hn re? do ? his stag? ? e off on the game.
So I commiserate, and he l? ? ? ed. ? e head inside the house, where e? thin? ddenly changes, and I'm talking to Jim Carrey for real, discussing e? thing I've just done as ? gh it was a movie I'? ? atched. I say, "The premise was promising, b? he follow-through was kind of weak. I would have lik? o see more action, n? his whole winding-do? hing." And he ag? , and we sta? alking a? coffee, and that wa? ? />
However...this one I had? t night was ? so goddamn fun.
I? ? off? h me? ing. I mean like? erman. I'm over ? ocean, the sky's cloudless, the sun? hining, the water's ? amazing? e, and I'm flying re? ? and stirrin? thi? ? ake as I? ? erhead. It doesn't feel like I'm? t sliding along through the air--the? some kind o? opulsion? tem involved? e, like my feet are ? ? rocket ? les, exerting some huge,? isible force? allel to my ? . There's a gigantic? ise ? up ahead, but it's painted enti? black, and ? ? chin? ? h this much smaller yach? hich is also painted black. Up ahead, there's a large marble wal? ? ing out ? ? ? and? ving awa? t of sight. ? ? r on the juice and b? my way ahead, o? aking the old lady in the black yacht and making? bob a little in my wake? />
The? ble walkway's entrance i? arde? two bli? omen, and leads to a? t of floating city, although the "floati? art" is stri? ? aphorical--i? ? and it ? n't, and the blind ladie? e the gateke? s. I know I'm not allowed to? over the threshold--whe? ? alk and the water meet--othe? e I'll be killed, so? ? up and ? le down onto the? er, walking ahead. T? omen are on opposite sides of the walk, ? ting? aight ahead at each other with blank eyes. T? oman on the ? is a youngish blond? hile the woman on the right is an oldish black lady. As ? proa? ? ? hold, I see the...sort of emperor of the? ? I'm abo? o enter coming down the walk to ? the old lady, and giving me this lo? hat's making me ? ous. I'm? ? posed to be ? ? ? I'm ? ? sing? ough this co? ? here people have? chic? ers and are ? ? ? laying g? to ? ive. People like me--limited only to the? er of fl? ? e illegal an? st be killed. The old la? are tel? ? ? cree? eryo? hat ente? ? land, b? hey can be fooled.
However, it seems ? my ? presenc? thema to them. S? hing about m? I approach them, no? ter how much white noise I have in my he? o block out thei? ? , makes them suddenl? ithe in pain. Like, goin? ts. The emperor ? this an? ops dead? arin? me. I duck my head down and wait for the old lady from the yacht to? off? boat and wa? ? ? he border so I can g? ? gh. She ? so, and I make ? ? gh, and sudd? I'm? ide. The? ble walkway, which curve? wards in? ? ky, is now curving d? ? ? ough a building with walls made from the same material, with? s of gla? indows. ? dden? emember ? I c? ? ort, and sta? rying to do so. ? ? that I've now e? ed a game fo? own? vival, and it's one ? ? e played many, many times before. I have all of ? e memori? ifti? ? gh my head o? ery time? e done it, and I remember th? act proc? e that I need to go through to g? o th? her side? />
Right around th? ? ? memoriell m? here should be guards ac? ing me, and I should be tele? ing ? from them. However, this time around, nothi? ? pening. I shrug and ? walking? ying to tele? on my own, tryi? o figure it out.? ? ? pro? ? ? eded because eve? ime I pass a? izen, I have to blan? ? mind and fill it wi? hite noi? ntil they pass. However, it isn't long b? e I ? re i? t and manage to materialize ? ? ? of ? gigantic govern? ? alace. It's like the White House? t al? 50 ? ies tall and? ? ? n weathe? stem. In the step in front of me, there's a ? , and I ? that I have to ? ? ? hat ? and? er a tun? ? ? ? h the palace. Th? the? t way through to the oth? ide, and I can leave this co? y and enter Barbar. The ? trouble is, I have to hide from the small battalions of sol? s marching along? oughout the tunnels, because they'll rea? mind and kill me on the spo? hich? ? pened before? />
? , goddammit.? I'm concerned. ? ? er been ? ? y before. Wh? going on? So I tele? to ? neighborhoo? ll of Vi? ian ? es. While I was sneaking? ough the tun? , night fell, so it's all dark outside. My friend who lives ? his one ? ? n't home? t hi? ont ? is open. Not feeling too safe a? going into his ? e while ? ? there (? ? ? ath,? er all),? ait ? ide ? to a car, only ? ? he e? or comin? . He is now ? ting to look? tinctly like Jim? rey. So I'm king to myself, o? ck, ? over, only to have him ? e a huge sigh and lean again? he car himself.
So I ask him ? the deal's been so far today. Nothing much has ? ened, and I can ? ? ough really easily. He confides in me that, ? ? he game is a? ive and ? ns from each time you pl? ? gh, and second, ? ? ing ? top the whole ga? layi? hing and? ? n his military. ? ble is, his ? ? hink the mil? ? absolutely n? ? in order to keep th? safe the way they are--? don't know ? ? stand th? hings don't have to ? his way. So ? ? ical? ? ed, and the ? thing hn re? do ? his stag? ? e off on the game.
So I commiserate, and he l? ? ? ed. ? e head inside the house, where e? thin? ddenly changes, and I'm talking to Jim Carrey for real, discussing e? thing I've just done as ? gh it was a movie I'? ? atched. I say, "The premise was promising, b? he follow-through was kind of weak. I would have lik? o see more action, n? his whole winding-do? hing." And he ag? , and we sta? alking a? coffee, and that wa? ? />
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June 16, 2006
F? ? tly involved thi? ? ? who painted thi? tremely evoc? e portrait of a woman who might have been black (she had braids)? ? h very l? skin. My mom's friend, Kim, and? kids and a bunch of other kids were the? oo, and ? all ? ing on a plane and flying to Man? an, because of c? e there's a huge? ? right in mi? n. I remember the view as we fle? ? he B? and the? town, before fin? finding? oad and ? ? iing in the plane al? ? he island in an attempt to find the ? ay. Once we got off, we woun? wanderi? ? ? colossal fac? y wi? hose? ange, old-timey signs, and I? ? his book? e that consisted of six ware? e-sized rooms, each room a diffe? genre.
We we? rying to find baggage claim (Kim? telling those horro? ories about never getting her baggage back), when we decided to down in front of what looked like a science museum at those two circ? tables and ? one table i? ont of a machine. I sat alon? the machine, while ? yone spl? p and sa? the tables and ? ted ? talking. After a while,? ealized ? the second table, on th? posi? ide ? he f? one fro, was sinking. T? eason for th? ? hat the tabl? ere ? ing on a science? eriment: a bog. The ? t table was doing fine, but the ? on the seco? able? e alread? to their ears in th? ck. ? ? ing ? elling could tear th? ? ? ? ion ? from their ? ersation? />
Then I dreamed ? ? as going to y's.? as driving down Spring Hill ? e when I? sed Grac? ? terian Churc? his ? ch my fa? used to go ? hen I was little. For so? eason, I knew I had ? ark some? e and wa? o Mindy'? ? here, so? ulle? er and decid? o see if I could find a way through the ? ? arking lot and left the car parked on the side o? ring Hil? ive while I ? to look. There was ? sma? aved road th? ? here an ? ? oad is in real life,? ting the? rch to my left, but ? erminated in? mall grassy fiel? ? nded by huge? all pine? ith a parking lo? retching away to my ? . There was an o? ? ple walking out ? he field and they both looke? me. The? shook his head and said to me, "No, keep going.? ? e a long? to go." So ? rned around and ? back the way I had come, on? o see the couple? ersect my pa? ith ? her ? le a? ? talking cheerily, like real congreg? ? ? ? ervice i? er.
As I ? ? he little knot, ? went si? and? ched me as I walked ? . I look? ? the sign of the? rch and realized that the name had changed. ? ? ? hing like "Faith of the Sun ? ch."? back to my car, made a ? rn, made a left onto this little loop road off of de? ive, and tri? o find a wooded lot ? e I could leave my car f? he n? . No suc? ck, but the road ended in this driveway, so I parked there and kept walking down the road, only to find myself blocked by a wall. I turned left, and? nd myself in someone's living room. I re? ? ? oad literally ended ? omeo? ? se, and through the ? s slg door, I saw Kim (Roche? Kim, not mom Kim). Green and black ? ts, green t-? t wi? olle? sle? ? ? dropped and I asked, "dude, wha? e you doing here in Spring Hill?" Sh? ? hrugged and ? ed her lips, refusing to? wer. Fin? , she sa? ? hing about "perks" and left.? ? hat,? ound up ? ing the reflection of this d? blonde ? ? ough the? se, ? to see her go o? he f? door.
When I mad? ? ough the front door, she? gone, and I pondered the possib? y th? he n? existed in the ? t place.? ? le="clear:both; padding-? om:0.25em">
posted by VanDerG? ? p; # 2:12 PM 0 Comm? ? an>
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June 15, 2006
I had ? long instin? eam ? nig? hat involved Jules, Jean, Ad? pan ? s="ljuse? ser="adamcohen" styl? hite-space: ? ap;">
2:12 PM 0 Com? ? pan> ? pan ? s="item-? rol blog-adm? id-241070731">
June 3, 2006
Well...I d? remembe? ch, ? slight pieces here and ? e.
There was one smal? trange man in a place where the ? ? came in? ? ed, and gold, in order f? t to? t valuable. I was with him at a ? ? this palace, where I was mingling and he was sniffing out m? . He? ? t of a lepre? ? pe a? ent stra? to ? tod? who? playing somethi? imil? o connect-4,? ? tly with reds and golds. He ? ted ? ing with this kid and robbing him blind, taking ? and golds and f? ing them? o some kind of o? space and taking? es out of hi? n fortune in the same ge? e and replacing them? />
When the ki? arte? ying? set at how e? thing he? playing? h was becoming blue, the? rechaun ? ? ee g? ? t th? ere strange: they had imprints on them..? st of a ? , th? ? econd of? ig, then the third of a ? -headed pig. Before I knew i? he baby's body h? urned in? hat of a pig, an? started running around and squealing. It bolted under a lon? rtain, and it wa? long before a little wolf cub came ? ting up,? ? ted ? ? mell. I watched,? sed, whi? he lepre? n fe? freaked and tri? o fi? he baby-pig under th? ? before the cub got to it, moaning a? ? he ? ld learn? ? son when it comes to? temper,? before long, the ba? ? hot out from und? he drape? he cub close on its heels.
The leprechaun stood i? ont of i? ? it, and ? ted tryi? ? op i? om going? ? he baby,? everything ? ried, th? ? allowed,? il finally, in desperation, the ? echa? ried? tick. Somehow, in th? ruggle, the stick go? rned around and the cub ? ? rped the sti? p li? paghetti, which I thought was th? nnie? hing ever an? rst out laug. Th? ? rned? head to loo? me and gave me ? gri? ? ? of its ? le muzzl? rlin? , before it ? ? ough the? rechaun's legs a? ent after the ba? ig.
Then ? e was th? eam ? t a ? p of? ee kids tryi? o do something but having to wait. In the meantime, one ? he kids, played by Michelle Trachtenberg, di? eared in ord? o take a shower. I just reme? ? kneeling on the floor of the sh? stall, topless, and? hing? self whi? he o? kids were looking for her. She look? trange--almost anorexic.
After that, ? hole family was ? ing out in a? ing truc? ? n. T? eird thi? ? the sun was rising in the west, not the ? , and we? e headed? ? it ? his road? ? fro? ? se. ? ? to be busy, and we were? t chugging along behind ? ? tle ? e car with a? ng lady in i? ? eemed to be going sl? than people liked, because folks were c? antly passin? . No? st on the left, but ? ? ? , ac? people's lawns and ? ? s. Suddenly,? some reason, we had to turn around, so ? ulled in? omeo? drivewa? here I freaked b? se I? ? ee a sta? ? er in a ? ? nearby,? ? arently ? as okay, because we then backed out acro? ? oad and into someone? e's ? ? ? oss from the? st one. Into the second ? ? a lady cop followed us,? once we? back on the road, it was okay.
That'? , I think.
There was one smal? trange man in a place where the ? ? came in? ? ed, and gold, in order f? t to? t valuable. I was with him at a ? ? this palace, where I was mingling and he was sniffing out m? . He? ? t of a lepre? ? pe a? ent stra? to ? tod? who? playing somethi? imil? o connect-4,? ? tly with reds and golds. He ? ted ? ing with this kid and robbing him blind, taking ? and golds and f? ing them? o some kind of o? space and taking? es out of hi? n fortune in the same ge? e and replacing them? />
When the ki? arte? ying? set at how e? thing he? playing? h was becoming blue, the? rechaun ? ? ee g? ? t th? ere strange: they had imprints on them..? st of a ? , th? ? econd of? ig, then the third of a ? -headed pig. Before I knew i? he baby's body h? urned in? hat of a pig, an? started running around and squealing. It bolted under a lon? rtain, and it wa? long before a little wolf cub came ? ting up,? ? ted ? ? mell. I watched,? sed, whi? he lepre? n fe? freaked and tri? o fi? he baby-pig under th? ? before the cub got to it, moaning a? ? he ? ld learn? ? son when it comes to? temper,? before long, the ba? ? hot out from und? he drape? he cub close on its heels.
The leprechaun stood i? ont of i? ? it, and ? ted tryi? ? op i? om going? ? he baby,? everything ? ried, th? ? allowed,? il finally, in desperation, the ? echa? ried? tick. Somehow, in th? ruggle, the stick go? rned around and the cub ? ? rped the sti? p li? paghetti, which I thought was th? nnie? hing ever an? rst out laug. Th? ? rned? head to loo? me and gave me ? gri? ? ? of its ? le muzzl? rlin? , before it ? ? ough the? rechaun's legs a? ent after the ba? ig.
Then ? e was th? eam ? t a ? p of? ee kids tryi? o do something but having to wait. In the meantime, one ? he kids, played by Michelle Trachtenberg, di? eared in ord? o take a shower. I just reme? ? kneeling on the floor of the sh? stall, topless, and? hing? self whi? he o? kids were looking for her. She look? trange--almost anorexic.
After that, ? hole family was ? ing out in a? ing truc? ? n. T? eird thi? ? the sun was rising in the west, not the ? , and we? e headed? ? it ? his road? ? fro? ? se. ? ? to be busy, and we were? t chugging along behind ? ? tle ? e car with a? ng lady in i? ? eemed to be going sl? than people liked, because folks were c? antly passin? . No? st on the left, but ? ? ? , ac? people's lawns and ? ? s. Suddenly,? some reason, we had to turn around, so ? ulled in? omeo? drivewa? here I freaked b? se I? ? ee a sta? ? er in a ? ? nearby,? ? arently ? as okay, because we then backed out acro? ? oad and into someone? e's ? ? ? oss from the? st one. Into the second ? ? a lady cop followed us,? once we? back on the road, it was okay.
That'? , I think.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 2:11 PM
? 26, 2006
So I'm? h a ? le of la? , a ? le o? ys aroun? age, and a ? le of older ? ? />
The train is going unbe? ? ? t, and I't help but wonder--? if it becomes a run? train? And here I a? tuck on the roof. I'm having to ride the damn thing like a bucking bronc? traddlin? and? ing ? tay on as th? ain ? up and down hills and m? ? and val? and funny little rills ? he l? cape and? es a? hat have? at absolutely breakneck speed. Then it ? ? ? whe? here's n? ack for ? t 3 ? , and I'm convinced ? it'll derail, but at th? ? ? ? so much mom? m that i? st goes righ? er and conti? on ? ? rack? t th? eak. We enter this cave which we spend a? min? in--only to com? ? the same point ? hich we entered.
? then, I realize that something's not right, and the dre? ? s. I? till riding the train, b? here are no tracks anywhere,? t this enormous tree that we seem to be circling. I'm losing my balance, so ? ab a branch ? ? ree to help me climb up onto the? ? ? dumps a ton? e horrible little biting tree-ants a? ? ? ? arm, making me let go.
Then ? ything goes *flash* and I'm back at my a? ? ? h all of my ? anions, and ? 're all ? laining ? t the ride. I'm picking ticks and scraping ants off of my skin, tryi? o get the ticks off befo? hey atta? ? skin and hoping that they d? stay alive ? he carpet. Suddenly, one of the girl? ks a? one of the ? my age, and thi? y sa? arcastic? , "How nice ? ? o worry ? t him. He's ? he living room," whi? layi? ith ? sma? pider he? t have gotte? ? ? ree.? t then, ? ? ective flashes into his, and I'mying? h th? ? , which is attached ? ebbi? ? index finger. It cl? bac? ? ? fin? ip, and I can feel i? mall weight before I vic? ly crush it into the sheet. I can fe? ario? iny crac? and? ? the spider's va? s bo? ? ? ? ture und? ? ? ure I'm applying to the ? ? ? />
That's the second time th? eek ? ? ? eamed about ? in general and spiders ? articular. What I di? mention in the ? dre? ost was ? ? oke rom the ? t part of th? eam because somehow, the gia? pider (I mean like 3 feet ac? ? ? one of ? e fa? pes) that helped me rob the hot dog stand had lost all its legs and was falling onto me from above. I was in my bed, and I h? o ba? to the side (way heavy), on? o se? ski? y in? he dark under one of my pillows.? oke up, and was ? aranoid ? ? pil? that I coul? ? to sleep for al? an ? ? />
I hate spiders.? ? le="clear:both; padding-? om:0.25em">
? p;
The train is going unbe? ? ? t, and I't help but wonder--? if it becomes a run? train? And here I a? tuck on the roof. I'm having to ride the damn thing like a bucking bronc? traddlin? and? ing ? tay on as th? ain ? up and down hills and m? ? and val? and funny little rills ? he l? cape and? es a? hat have? at absolutely breakneck speed. Then it ? ? ? whe? here's n? ack for ? t 3 ? , and I'm convinced ? it'll derail, but at th? ? ? ? so much mom? m that i? st goes righ? er and conti? on ? ? rack? t th? eak. We enter this cave which we spend a? min? in--only to com? ? the same point ? hich we entered.
? then, I realize that something's not right, and the dre? ? s. I? till riding the train, b? here are no tracks anywhere,? t this enormous tree that we seem to be circling. I'm losing my balance, so ? ab a branch ? ? ree to help me climb up onto the? ? ? dumps a ton? e horrible little biting tree-ants a? ? ? ? arm, making me let go.
Then ? ything goes *flash* and I'm back at my a? ? ? h all of my ? anions, and ? 're all ? laining ? t the ride. I'm picking ticks and scraping ants off of my skin, tryi? o get the ticks off befo? hey atta? ? skin and hoping that they d? stay alive ? he carpet. Suddenly, one of the girl? ks a? one of the ? my age, and thi? y sa? arcastic? , "How nice ? ? o worry ? t him. He's ? he living room," whi? layi? ith ? sma? pider he? t have gotte? ? ? ree.? t then, ? ? ective flashes into his, and I'mying? h th? ? , which is attached ? ebbi? ? index finger. It cl? bac? ? ? fin? ip, and I can feel i? mall weight before I vic? ly crush it into the sheet. I can fe? ario? iny crac? and? ? the spider's va? s bo? ? ? ? ture und? ? ? ure I'm applying to the ? ? ? />
That's the second time th? eek ? ? ? eamed about ? in general and spiders ? articular. What I di? mention in the ? dre? ost was ? ? oke rom the ? t part of th? eam because somehow, the gia? pider (I mean like 3 feet ac? ? ? one of ? e fa? pes) that helped me rob the hot dog stand had lost all its legs and was falling onto me from above. I was in my bed, and I h? o ba? to the side (way heavy), on? o se? ski? y in? he dark under one of my pillows.? oke up, and was ? aranoid ? ? pil? that I coul? ? to sleep for al? an ? ? />
I hate spiders.? ? le="clear:both; padding-? om:0.25em">
posted by Hugh VanDerG? ? p; # 2:10 PM? p;0 Comments
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May 23, 2006
? class="blog? ">I? colludi? ith ? her guy, a g? spider, a g? scorpion, a? , and a strange watermel? rick? ear-type? ? ? ame ? her guy for the robbery of a giant hot d? haped fo? tand? />
We ? ? ough it,? near the en? ? hing wen? ong, so we only made away with around $360,000, half of ? we'd planned to take. I had to get ? ? ? the? s were a? ing ? ible onl? black cartoon-like silh? tes ? ? ery early morning rain--? ything else was dark? e and the ro? ? ? ? h headli? ), and I had to depend on fa? ? to hide from them. The key one ? really got me away was (x+2)(x-3), whic? st let me walk out onto the road? ween the? ? s and make a run? theds. Looking back, I could se? r patsy all lit ? ith his hand? ? anding i? ont ? he end of the giant hot dog.
Once in the woods and in? hack, I was ? ing with the scorpio? ? pide? he f? , the in? , and th? her guy. The infant was insisting th? he g? hould be? en a sma? ? , sithe ? came an? (he? the? ? on the job), wh? uddenly the guy isn'? anding at th? ont ? ? more--he? tanding ? the infant with? foot fi? planted on the kid's th? and a g? ? ed at his forehead. ? took care of that. Until th? uit, spider, and scorpio? arte? guing am? t themse? , th? gs caini? hat the frui? st, like...l? here? tead of exploding to create a distraction like he wa? ? ? o, a? he f? ? ing ? a d? action on his pa? asn't ne? ary, the giant bugs were good enough. This ended in an all-out f? in which bo? ? pider and the scorpi? epeatedl? ied ? ting/poison the frui? o no avail.
I wok? , then found? elf in a? k shack with only a ? slight outline of l? in front of me, which grew slig? wider. A small ? ? ? he f? thi? o co? ? ? he gap--a re? old? hioned Derri? ? e pistol. Th? ? ! He probably had someone coming? ? he f? of the shack to ambush me! So I grabbed the? tol, twisted it ? fro? hea? he old m? hot the guy creeping up behind, ? ested th? ? ? he old man, ? him, ra? tsid? hot the othe? ? tside the shed, ? the oth? wo guys ? he o? shed in behind mine, ra? ound the side of that shed, ? the? I found there, ran ? , sh? he o? 2 g? he back ? hat shed, ra? t of ammo, and just made a flat-out run for it, all ? hich? pened within 30 seconds. Luc? ? ? ? ch-black? side, the moon being the only illumination.
I mad? ? t the third shed? ? ? one noticing? lea? ntil I h? he f? ? ch of th? ge old house, where the ? shining ful? rength. Once? ? p on that porch,? as a? ting duck until I made it inside, so I decided just to go fo? and ran up the stairs, acro? ? orch? ? s ba? grazing me, and? o the house, where it was once again, pitch black. And full ? eople. I sidled ? ? ? ? he darkness, stig to the dee? sha? , making it through the parlor into the kitchen, whe? here? e no people.? tead? here? e giant ? ter/tick? ? ing thin? brids. Like 2 feet long and all ? the place. ? ied to f? ? t a way ? ake care of them? ? ? ? ing attention, a? aw a big orange cool? ? ? h a counter, so ? ? , hoping there'd be room enough to fit all of those things. Managed ? ick one up a? ut it in the cooler, only to be ? rise? he damn thing was shaking and ji? ing like the lob? -thing inside was
? as making a lot of noise, so? aid to myself, "scre? --maybe I'll be ? ? the only one who made it wi? he l? t body c? ever," and ? as at th? ? that I realized that I was in a video game, like Halo or Half-Life.? tead, I ? slipped? the? chen door on? he back porc? here the moon was al? hining full-forc? lid ? ? he back ? he house, listening ? ? ? ing and creaking of the ? ? ? ? ? feet, makin? re nobody ha? awled under the ? e. It was when I? almost ? he f? ? ? hen I remembered--shit! The covering? ? ? ? ? ! I'd ha? o risk it again. Great. Nothing for it--? ? ? o th? ont ? , feelin? ? s whizz ? ast my back,? ? he door open, and di? eared in? he darkness.
The parl? as e? . WTF? Nobod? ound? range...but ? e
So quickly, I f? hed the climb and reached the tower, only to find this huge troll-li? erso? ? tanding ? nd. He looke? , smiled, and said, "Oh, hello, ? e. Here it is--I mad? re it was nice and clean? ? !" He handed over th? trange-looking key, which looked like a thin? agonal golden rod about 5 in? long that had g? es cut a? ? ay aroun? the end. He? ed over, and the? as a small g? wall behind him, with a hole in it,? o whI in? ? he key a? urne? . The glass ? of disappeared,? I n? ? to see ? ? on the other side.
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May 22, 2006
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I spe? ? hole night on th? n.I ? waking up and falling back asleep again? ? ery time I d? hat I wound up in a scenario that had the same basic? pose? n. Mainl? ? his guy named David Sagi? ius. He ran ? huge co? ation that h? ? ils ? ywhere, call? he Zodiac Corp., and eve? ingl? eam I found myself in in? ed a? ? el e? night, some? ? range compan? , and a ? ? ort, which involved going to a diffe? ? poration and asking for sanc? y. I'm not going? o detail because? st, I don't reme? all of it, and second, it'd be ? ge long ? which I don't have time? this morning.
I ? emember being in the CEO's office an? plaining the? uati? o him. His name was Jack Whistle, and he? ured me ? things would be dea? ith. Some underling came up and said that a ? ation ha? isen at a satellite office, with evidence that David Sagitta? ? ? ? ible. Jack looke? me and said, "Well, the? ? ime in e? CEO's life ? e he? to go and deal with things ? erson," ? e go a helicopter and...? 's it.
Th? nny thin? that I ? thinking about it as the season finale of m? ? ? ? ? ? time of year, last night had the right atmosphere a? it, some an? s finally came, a reckoning is o? s way, etc. Througho? he n? the? ere ? e little? es in each d that related ba? o something I'd dreamed ? t earlier in the year (as in since last May ? o), and it just seems like I've been hunted ? ? ame ? on i? dreams for all ? e mo? ? />
It sounds like ? pical FO? ama, though. I looke? the Zodiac ? ? ion, and they're an aerospace coy th? ? t of the Zodiac ? ? hich? a larger focus on a? pace and? ine technology in general. I tho? that was kind o? nny, considering tho? trange-looking f? er jets ? I e? ? ed in th? eam after the Wa? ? Mill incident. It just feels li? tuff? ually ca? ? her and unified ? ain drea? hat I've had in a ve? trange a? et clichéd way.
Funny old thing, life.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 2PM
? 20, 2006
Blade, only wi? t th? ? ? ing.
Something big was going down, and I was ? his big fancy hotel lobb? ea (? ? ? er been ? he H? in DC, you ? what I mean, on? his was done up in lots of golden marble? acing along ? spended walkway with big? sh carpeting. I had two friends down on the ? om level, whom I? ? ee a? o whom I called out ? ? ering lo? . They heard and stopped wal in ? ? ection, coming around to? mall stairway that connected my level to a l? ? el a? o th? ound floor, ? e I met them. We huddled and whi? ? ? ly for a moment,? il I? an olde? ? anding off in the distance, on a raised ? in the middle of the floor. Bald with a fringe ? hite hair, a? quoise jacke? er dark blue flannel, faded jeans. A vampire? />
I could feel him talking in my head, which I don't reme? much of? her than the? ds "half-breed" ? hough please? e I haven't watched Blade in forever), which was appa? ? rue of m? eam-self. He? abo? o co? me, except...he con? ed, turned black, and rose o? he ground, engulfed in flames. I looked upwa? o an? er level, where I could see ? ? andi? here. I can't rememb? hat he looked like, but he a? tly vanished and reappeared ? he dais ? he ground level. I immediate? urned and ra? life, appearing and? appearing li? he o? ? had? mpin? ? pot ? pot, 20 or 30 feet a? ? />
I looked back a? aw him catching ? o me, so ran? ter. The? as a? artment ? ? the end of the lobby, and I knew that if I ? ? he o? ? eshold of th? ore, I'd be safe from th? her ? ire, except he'd? ? ? ? o me, so I h? o re? ? dodge him, ? ing a few feet back, then diagon? to the ? then fo? d again ? ? uch. I finally made ? o the threshold, crossing a three-fo? hick line of white marble set among ? n marble, on? o ha? he dream shift again? />
The? as a? that happened, tran? ? ? eople with cancer, movie? his one guy in a? ? uit who stole th? perman "S" design for his chest,? it was fill? ith green fl? and he was like? ? hero or something, a competition? candy, printing? an IOU for Dana on my new orange shirt,? t...a lot of? ff jumbling toge? , often ? owing charac? or ? line? om dream? om earli? hat night. Just a long, strange night.
Something big was going down, and I was ? his big fancy hotel lobb? ea (? ? ? er been ? he H? in DC, you ? what I mean, on? his was done up in lots of golden marble? acing along ? spended walkway with big? sh carpeting. I had two friends down on the ? om level, whom I? ? ee a? o whom I called out ? ? ering lo? . They heard and stopped wal in ? ? ection, coming around to? mall stairway that connected my level to a l? ? el a? o th? ound floor, ? e I met them. We huddled and whi? ? ? ly for a moment,? il I? an olde? ? anding off in the distance, on a raised ? in the middle of the floor. Bald with a fringe ? hite hair, a? quoise jacke? er dark blue flannel, faded jeans. A vampire? />
I could feel him talking in my head, which I don't reme? much of? her than the? ds "half-breed" ? hough please? e I haven't watched Blade in forever), which was appa? ? rue of m? eam-self. He? abo? o co? me, except...he con? ed, turned black, and rose o? he ground, engulfed in flames. I looked upwa? o an? er level, where I could see ? ? andi? here. I can't rememb? hat he looked like, but he a? tly vanished and reappeared ? he dais ? he ground level. I immediate? urned and ra? life, appearing and? appearing li? he o? ? had? mpin? ? pot ? pot, 20 or 30 feet a? ? />
I looked back a? aw him catching ? o me, so ran? ter. The? as a? artment ? ? the end of the lobby, and I knew that if I ? ? he o? ? eshold of th? ore, I'd be safe from th? her ? ire, except he'd? ? ? ? o me, so I h? o re? ? dodge him, ? ing a few feet back, then diagon? to the ? then fo? d again ? ? uch. I finally made ? o the threshold, crossing a three-fo? hick line of white marble set among ? n marble, on? o ha? he dream shift again? />
The? as a? that happened, tran? ? ? eople with cancer, movie? his one guy in a? ? uit who stole th? perman "S" design for his chest,? it was fill? ith green fl? and he was like? ? hero or something, a competition? candy, printing? an IOU for Dana on my new orange shirt,? t...a lot of? ff jumbling toge? , often ? owing charac? or ? line? om dream? om earli? hat night. Just a long, strange night.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 2:08 PM
May 18, 2006
So I grabbed a? er, ? teri? ice ? ywhere, and followed? ? n't long before I re? ? hat ? e was an orientation/q&a? sion going on regarding the ? ibility of living there, and what with being dea? his woul? help me much. So I ? walking, passing clusters o? ilding emplo? that looked at me as I ? ed. ? e was a bunc? anding outsi? he Facilities' S? visor's office, then ano? bun? tanding ? to the front desk of the Plant Manager before I went through a back door and emerged in? ? unshine again. F? ing ? the? er I had might answer an? estions I ha walked out to my car and got ready to leave, on? ? n into Nachelle and ? iend. She laughed and said, "Oh, man, again?? We kee? nning into each other!" So I asked h? ? ? as here, didn't she already have a house? Th? ? all windy and c? sing and I lost her ? onse in the chao? hen woke up. It was 5:04 a.m? />
Back to sleep. I was on the? h floor of T? ? ith a couple of ? le, and ? had to ? ? here? t I need? ? op a? roo? o th? ook the ? ? , while I to? ? ? s wi? ? to ? up ? he f? floor. When? alked in? ? ? well, this g? old ? hat ? e was a ? irement: I h? o de? ? e some kind ? ? abi? on the way down? at ? t 6 floors i? der to make ? o the bottom. Uhm...? . So? ort of climb? p on? ? ailing a? uspended? elf ? that empty space in the center ? ? ? case as ? ound? ? ? ard, dropped my ? to the floor below, landed,? ng out again? opped down onto the floor below ? , ale way down. ? ? ay, I passed Mic? ho a? ual seem? o ha? ? hing? chy ? ay a? ? ouldn't get out ? ? ay, so I? t di? thi? ithout being concerned a? whe? or not I hit her, and b? e long, I was on the? st f? before ? ? ealized I was there.
So I wal? t an? ? ns o? here are? coke machines a the wall ne? o the door leadi? o th? ? ay, and ? e's ? nch ? eople there. The? st one I see is ? ine leading her coterie of...fri? . She looks at me, and her irise? e totally black, which kind of freaks me? . She says nothing, so I don? ay anything either, and move? to the ? er of the first floo? here? ass ? her blac? ed girl, this one a brunette, and I think to? elf Whoa...th? ? ? lying.
So then I wake up at 7 a.m. and determine ? ? be it's ? ? ? th going back to sleep. Too ? annoying people.
2:07 PM 0 Comments
? 16, 2006
Then the dre? ? s to? ery nice? tle old ? ? oss a small rounble with coffee ? on it. She has a little whi? oodle clasped to? side, and is telling me that the do? named "Lim." I then tell her something (can? emember ? ), a? he g? , loses all cheeriness, and orders me to write down ? ? aid ? he c? rove the? ? o a specific? son. Thi? ? somng I want to do,? arently, so I manage to forc? self to wake up. My ? t though? pon waki? ere, "Good, she's not there anymore, I d? ? e to write it down."
Odd, though. Second night in? ow.
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May 15, 2006
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Strange..? as a bunch of di? ent ? le last night. Only slig? remember one, a? ome ? he o? ? />The? ? hing? emember ? his guy in a store aisle? t no? ch else. Then the la? hing? emember ? his ? . The size i? ? flexible. I? his young la? ith ? t ha? ? ? a bed next to a long wi? e be? built into the hull of the ? and is enclosed by ? rtain. P? ? ? ? . Lightning ? hes and I see a face? of the window, and ? ano? ? ? oman who's got my (dream-self's) fac? ? dead-white with black hair. She? sts through ? indow, arching over my body,? nging a knife deep into ed, barely missing me, b? hinking she got me, ? inues to blow through th? rtai? o co? o a rolling ? on the floo? tside.
She th? roceeds to massacre ? yone she comes a? s, but f? ome ? on has no ti? o get to everyone. My consciousness shif? o her, b? here? ? hing? angely..ebraic...abo? ? aste of her mind, so? etreat a? tle bit,? t to see? run? oss the deck and over the edge, ? ing ? pace, fe? ? her and pointed down? ? prea? t wide like ? oss, the wind lashing the rain against her, and the lightning si? etting her brill? ly and addin? s gl? o the ra? ops dancing ? nd her, befo? he d? ? o the water.
When she? s, I snap back into her head, and I think that I've got to g? ? boat before the sni? find me. I ? underwater for two ? tes before deciding ? safe to? urface and make a flat-o? wim for the ? . The boat is ha? tatistic? o if I just get behind it, bulle? ill ? ? s through and no? will see me? 's a small, pure-whi? owbo? hat appears to be the on? eal, def? e thing ? he middle of the gray in the? er a? ? ky. I slithe? t of the? er and into the ? ? ? I hear the ? t shot being? eezed off, and immediate? oll ? he o? side of the ? , tippin? over al? to the point of? sizing, ? ting in its math? ical? ure ? rotect me.
Th? the? t thing I remember.
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May 11, 2006
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Okay, so the drea? ? off? h me in a van wi? ome folks. We're? posed to be delivering n? ? ? ? ? />So ? ull ? o th? ? hat decent house and? ? p to the door to drop off the newspaper,? someone ope? he door ? as I get there, and it's Marcia, this lady ? e fa? went to my parents'? rch for a while and who ? ? o teach sign to for her kid, had CP. She's all HI! and i? es me in, and we start just talking and catching up. She brings me o? o the pool behind the house ? e there's a bunch of kids having? ool ? y, and I keep thinking, "Oh man...what a? the folks in the van? E? hey can ? a few m? es..? />
Whi? e're talking, a ? le of ol? iends, Joey and Dana, sh? p, and Dana's re? friendl? t Jo? quiet and doesn? ay much, so ? st i? e him and ta? ith Marcia and Dana ? ead. It's not until the sky ? s da? hat I re? e th? here are people ? ing for me outside. So I? , oh I gotta go, and I go ba? ? ? he house? the front door, only to see that the place has transmogrified into ? huge mansion with an enormous cobblestoned parking lot out front filled? h people? looks a? t like a? en-air concert, ? ? omehow know ? the president is going to be there.
The set s li? his: the front door is on this balco? hat's like 40 feet above the? king? , with handi? ed-a? ? yle ? s leading off to the left, and I can? ely see the van out beyo? he edge ? he crowd. The ramp i? ll of se? ? vice agents, so I climb up onto the wall lining the ? and walk alit, often making 20-? jumps and landing o? feet to mak? ? n to the? t level, which happens 3 tim? o get do? o th? ound. After the middle jump,? ee Joey and Dana again, heading ? from th? owd ? ? elves, a? hen ? mp down ? he ground, a? t on? of the ? ident.
I apol? e to the president a? ? ecret service, only ? ? ? eople I came? h in the? ner of m? ? unning around and gestic? ing wild? ? ? his huge cha? ? tha? r va? pare? ? ned into, and th? , like, it.
Tsk.
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May 6, 2006
Then once I dill asleep, I started dreaming for the first time in a while. It basically in? ed my moving? of my a? ? and back into my pa? s' house, with one key e? tion: th? artment was in T? A at RIT. A? ? ? ? ? een. And I had a closet with two dre? ? ll o? ap. I was going ? ? o move e? thin? t an? he house at once? t re? ? hat with my ? tment being 128 floors above the ground, it might be? t to? ? ? adually as my mo? had sug? ed.
So yet mo? hemes....high pl? and? pare? , RIT-relate? uff.? ange.
So yet mo? hemes....high pl? and? pare? , RIT-relate? uff.? ange.
2:04 PM? p;0 Comments
? tyle="bo? :none;" href? tp:/? .blo? .com? t-edit.g?blogID=5988413477321192800&? ID=5138537027710123159" title="Edit ? ">![? c=]()
? an>
May 1, 2006
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Nothing new here. I continue to have dreams, but nothing real? orth talking about--? ly either person? tuff or run-? he-mill stuff, like a co? ition between Kim an? self on who can type the? ? (I got ? o 920 words per ? te!) and my watch. Reall? he g? ? erin? ? ch face had so many nicks and scratches ? the face was ob? ed--but ? if you looked a? in the right lighting conditions. If no? ? ocked and scarre? rface of my watch was totally invisible, and the gla? as c? as...well, ? s. In a ? d viewpoint, the damage was visible,? it'? rned to water, like the ocea? een from hundreds of fee? could see boats sailing through the face of ? atch, the digital portion of the? ion dial flashing through underneath the? face--I have this one? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 2:03 PM
April 23, 2006
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I? esting dream? t now. It in? es just me, at f? , riding a motoc? bik? 200 mph? ough the woods, trying desperate? o get there before a hel? ter and to make ? funeral on time at ? ? holic church because som? rang? ju is about to go down and I? e to sto? . When I? there, Kim's there, and she and I have to go in and? in the front row. There's an al? ? ? ? feel to the who? hing? 's a funeral? a guy aroun? r age, and his mom i? tremely wealthy with? ery strange ? ? />feel a 5-year-oid crying somewhere, so ? en m? es and look up. The ? h th? as drape? ? he crucifix sudd? ? one? ner standing? aigh? , being pull? ? d toward this long, wide beam that bisec? ? oom dire? over the altar.
I ca? st barely make o? ? hape of somethin? lling the cloth up a? ? ? s to mak? s wa? ward? really is a? tle kid. Nobody else is noticing because their eyes are ? ? t I came prepared wi? his champagne glass from a friend's wedding. I jump ? ery ? ily, making ? yone open their ? and see what's going on, walk over ? he a? , and dip the glass ? he holy water.
The water won'? ay in the glass. It imme? ely spills out, dribblin? ? here. Finally, I bre? ? tem off ? he g? and? t plunge the? l in? ? ? , fill i? , and hold i? to ? ? it ? hat's playin? ound? h the cloth, shout a? ? ds (not sure what I said), and only then? ice ? the holy water y glass has turned into blood.
The priest ? ts handing o? ? s to people ? hinks we? articularly ? e, a? ince? he ? , I'? age ? onsible for today" and b? se I? itting in th? ont row, I must ? eally close to him, so I? ? ? . I realize ? ? ? her lived a really bad life until she married this g? ? her, and the priest ? s this and dislikes her for it, so I? Kim to ? the? er down the row to her.
F? >ne?? ? le="clear:both; padding-? om:0.25em">
? il 21, 2006
? clablog? ">-An old couple's home ? they left open for the neig? kids to sho? t through. In th? eam I've don? all my life and? e to do so again at my current age f? easons as yet undisclosed, b? he last time I d? , I stic? ound because the old lady has ma? ecan pie and offered me some, an? ? ld b? ? o refuse, according to her old Chinese husba? ? ? ion. As their do? ies ? lobber all over me, ? ? ? ? reciation for the way th? ? ened their house, and th? ? hat when they were kids,y needed the same thing, so didn? ? ? hey ? ldn't pa? he f? on.
-Can? idden mobile home pa? ? on the water wi? ons of cats and ? rricane comi? hat creates huge? es. Swimming? ? and? s of swampings a? andering around the maze of canals and mobile homes. My mom's relatives are ? e and we all leave in a large va? here I demonstra? he n? 's common theme,? ? that looks like a c? hell? e, b? nfolds a? nfolds in tons of di? ent conf? ations of screen and/or keyboard? to a large PADD tablet like fro? ar Trek or Toshiba.
-A large faci? used for worldgating, and I've brok? ? al i? stellar ? and need to escape ? ? , which incl? an old interpreter of mine. I have ? un from the top floor do? o th? ound floor down ? brillia? hite pla? stairca? ith circ? haped landin? o im? e the worldg? themselves. I make ? o th? ound floor, ? to find? tha? ? ? ? ? staked out the ? exit an? waiting to catch me, and another security guard is right on? of me, until I tell him that the in? reter has 7 pounds of ma? ana ? hed ? in her office, and he goes to apprehend? , leaving me to ? cot-free? />
-A tree-woman named? ath and her younger ? her, Beloth, at ? et, ? his...enormo? ree the size of a world.? ? le="clear:both; padding-? om:0.25em">
? il 12, 2006
? class="blog? ">We walk in, and there's th? eally pale guy lying on a bed, naked and looking? ? ery sick. We ask Rob what the deal is, and he sa? he guy is his fa? , and he's dying. Wow...bummer. ? , so he ? , "L? go down to the ? t floor, I need ? alk to my mom," and almo? ? away, he and Kim di? ear down the stairwell. A male nurse? ? ? of nowhere and ? ? endi? o th? y on the bed. I ? t walking on? n, but it's ? iral stairca? traight down the? e of the? er, painted pure white and just winding, winding, winding. A? a few f? s, I start falling aslee? reg? ? ervals and it feels like I'm sliding? n instead of walking? ? liding down ? womblike white warm tube. When I'm awake, I? ng, ? gh, and ? y single floor I? s has a ? of an a? e with 2 floor-l? h wi? s that each have? eally co? table chair in f? of them? />
Around 14 f? ? ? ? op, I ge? ? s and check it out--the ? is staggering. ? e somehow above the ? ds, but ? ythi? so green. There are small ta? ? t to each chair, and they've? books on them. I ge? ...e? floor in th? ? ? ? eadi? oom with incredible ? s! I like th? lace? e and more.
So I go back ? ? ? s an? ? ? ame thing again: walk down a? ple of f? ? ? ? a few, wake up, walk down, sleep, a? ? ? o the bottom. Once I? there, I cafind? her Rob or Kim, but after looking for a bit, I find them in ? ? ing room that was behind the stairwell. My a? ? 's couch is ? here, and Kim's on i? eading The Light ? astic? ome.? h say no, we're ? ing for Rob's mom to come home. So I? ? de, ? like you live in the Tower of Sauro? something.
*pop*? ake up.
2:02 PM 0 Comm? ? an>
? an c? ? em-c? ol blog-admin pid-241070731">![?]()
April 11, 2006
? ? le="clear:both;">
Ah...I'm ? ing ? er a? cid dreaming? />It mostly in? ed having a bunch of people ? to my house? a g? ? her,? tly involvin? aying the night and watching? ies and eating jand ? ? ing a go? ime in g? al. The ? et here was ? the? ? ? hing in my blood that made me nigh on to unkillable,? ? rong, an? tremely ? . Th? ? he coole? art, because in the dream, I decided to ? around a little? , so I c? ? his ? p of? ernment assassins to come after me, including th? tly ? weight, balding guy who had the same abilities I did? />
On? hey were taken out, I kept moving ac? to the lawn where, to my right, the? ? h the sa? ? s I did was climbing a ladder, but I grabbed the hem of his slacks, yanked him down so he met th? ound on ? foo? hen pulled it--and h? bod? traight up, ? ting the hem of the ? leg at the same tim? hich? ulted in? whole body ? ting around so his head was pointing? ard the ? nd. Then I just slammed his skull di? ly into the pave? , feeling the eggshell crunc? hen pulled h? p and threw him side? ? oss the concrete? ? ing pillar next ? he garage, d? oying hi? ine ? in case? ? almost ? oonish.
The last thing I reme? is running into the? se, ? ting, "THEY'RE COMING IN THROUGH THE SKYLIGHT!" Then I looke? in the skyl? , saw his face, and jabbed my middle finger upward at him. That'? ? br />In one ? e, I'm i? ested in? ing out luci? eaming, but in another, I li? hem random. But ? 've been kind of? ing lately, so...I dunno. See-see.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 2:01 PM? p;0 Comments ? tyle="bo? :none;" href? tp:/? .blo? .com? t-edit.g?blogID=5988413477321192800&? ID=7307692838505663314" title="Edit ? ">
April 10, 2006
All I ? ? o do? find a bowling alley. Why did I? e to? ? t?
It wa? g before I got lost,? ning off the hig? and followi? his road? o the woods, figuring that if worst comes to? st, I kn? here this connecting road wa? o I could al? ? t ta? hat way if all else failed. But I wound up going deeper and ? er into the wood? assing ancient g? tations ? ing ? ? nds. Night had falle? ? ? hing? ? k. Finally, I ga? p an? lled ove? arking on the side of the road i? ont ? his big gree? se-looking building in f? of which a ton of cars were? ked. I knew ? ? where a bunch of deaf kids met ? larly; maybe they could ? me out.
Once? ? o th? ilding, ? ened the? al-framed, c? gated-plastic-paneled door a? ent in, ? ? seemed like? as i? ? ing ? meeting. The kids--all my age, were? ting on chairs and at ta? like an audience in front of this g? ? ? peaking ? he g? . Th? ere all the trailer-? ? ype, what we'd call hillbill? here? e any hills in Florida. ? ut me in mind of a Nazi rall? a KKK conclave,? ? hrugged it off and found an ? y chair ? he back. The buildin? self? ? t one bi? ? pace, plastic on? al framing on top of a b? lab of c? ete. The? ? ome decoration on the walls,? tly ? ? and? ff f? he "deaf? b" or wh? er, although the kid speaking seemed to ? ? resi? ? t di? sign.
So I looked a few ? ? er a? ? his hard of ? ing kid I knew in middle school,? is, and his ? le brother, who looked a? t identical. Before long? ? ? ermission, a? he kid i? ont of me had taken an i? est in me had black spiky hair and a red? ? , and he wanted to know if I wanted to check? ? ? . I said, "N? hanks, I'm kind of lost,? ? ou help me out?" He looked kind of d? pointed,? ugged, a? aid,? least check thi? t," and handed me what looked like flower clippers, but made from shsteel and the bl? ? e ve? traight, sharp, and pointy. "Play wi? his for a while--I gotta do something for a few, ok?" he said, a? hen took off? />
Okay...so I started playing? ? a little bit and walkin? ound. After a minute or two,? ent back? ide the building, where t this kind of cute girl who signed. We ? ted talking, and things were goi? ? y we? ntil I asked? , "So...? ? e yo? om? Are you local?" She looked at me, an? ? aid, "I don't know..."
Uh, okay. ? then, it was time f? he meeti? ? art agai? o I decided to give ? bun? p fobad job and tried to find the kid who gave me the clippe? o I could gi? hem back? t there was ? ign of him. The speaker aske? eryo? o sit down, so I? behind ? pair of? s who we? itting at a table, and ed at them? ? hey looked at me. The one I spoke to had an insi? he-eearing aid and h? his slig? mocking? erious look on his face.? er a? min? of going in? ? about "? ? , you know, ? ? who? e me this, he sat right ? there, can you give him these c? ers when? see him, I really gotta go, what do? mean, n? hat's not hi? ou know who I'm talking ? t, l? t give h? his, what? no, he? me look at ? e, I need to? e them back to him" and so on and so? th.
R? around ? time, I started to realize ? something here ? ? n't right. So I ? ? ? he c? ers ? ? able in front of him? ood up, and walked out. The room wen? iet ? as I walked? the door, but I didn't take? ? ice until I tried to fin? ? . No sign of it ? here. There were plenty of cars ? looked similar,? ? imil? ear ? ? their headl? s we? esponding to my remote. Not mine, though. Finally, I? nd one, but ? as in the middle of the lawn? h a bunch of? s be it, blocking the wa? t. I figured I could dri? ell ? ? o ma? er it between all th? her ? , until I noticed a flickeri? hadow on the oth? ide ? he car, and immedately d? ? o th? ound to look underneath and see if I? ld bust someone ? he act of screwing around.
No sig? thing there...so? tood up and tried the door handle--only ? ealize it was th? ong kind? ? a freakin' ? a 88 Oldsmobile, like the kind my si? used to drive. Totally off...an? this point,? ealized ? I had found? elf ? he kind ? ituation that yo? ually think ? only make movies ab trapped in the wood? our means of escape ? ? ically blocked, ? al and/or physic? ? re....and I had ? com? ely give? ay my on? eapon! That kid was prob? ? uall? ying to help me. ? id!
So I ? ? oss the stre? o what looked like a? -phone box in a ? ? ch attem? o find my car--is actually an ignition box, which meant basically that I? ? tick my key in i? urn it, and ? ould remotel? art my car i? ? ? hin 100 ? . The first time? ried, nothing happened. The seco? ime, the engine turned over, and I immediate? pun ? ? o look for it. Nothing. So I? ned back to the box--and? iced? the? ? ime ? e was an old white building behind it. All along the ground ? e the wall came down, there were piles a? ? of stuff, and on top of? ? ? ? e paintings I'd done. One was a painting I'd only tho? abo? ? before,? the others were? ual, and? ? ed getting very c? ed out. ? had been fo? ing me f? hat long? />
Suddenly, I? ? y pissed off, and th? ? ? ime ? hich? erio? beg? o think ? ? ? uation. ? ? o those hillbillies were goi? ? ? ith me? Maybe screw ? ? ith me a? tle bit, show me pictures of my family being? up?? ? it was time to ? ? actly wh? hey had ? ped ? ? cheap, tree-filled ? ? orld. Ti? ? ? hem down, on? one, and to? ? ? ? of ? e. My on? egret was losing those c? ers,? ? as a? s good at im? ? ion.
So I? ned ? nd a? ent back? o the meeting house, considering? I m? ? ner one ? hem, which body ? s I ? ld f? on, whe? ? hould do the? embowelment ? ? ? ? ? ario? ros and ? of differen? ? of ? pened plastic (if no? al a? nati? as available), only to find ? the spa? as d? ted.? ? ? ty. ? ign of life ? ? er. So I spi? ound? ? t again, and realize that there's a vide? cade adjoini? he meeting house, which I totally di? ? ice. It's blocked of? a chain-link fence,? the? ? arking l? here, so I head ? hat direction, having to go out ? ? oad again in ord? o be able to go ? ? he fence? st as I enter the parking lot, a? her and her ? le boys come walking? ? ? he arcade, a? he kids are all ? y, having had a ly good time? />
So I'm ? ? arking lot, and I lo? ? d th? ilding, and realize ? e's ? nkyard behind th? cade. Maybe ? 's a pla? ? art...
And I sudd? wak? ? igh* that could have been interesting...? ? le="clear:both; padding-? om:0.25em">
Well, I ? looked the ? ? ill lived a normal life, and went to? ch Garde? ith ? arents a? his ? d kid I used to ? from elemen? school, Ell? . El? t's kind of ? prick, you ? ? I ? kind of looked like Hel? ? />
I wa? ed ad Egypt for a while, before deciding to head back and find my pa? s in this large,? ered? ? ? ith escalators. I sat on this bench while a larg? owd ? ? ing ? , until I finall? otte? ? ? , who were accompanied by another deaf man. ? failed to notice me? ting there--odd because I wag and re? o I got up and followed them. On? hey noticed I was there, my dad dragged me into the ? est building, shoved me into the? hroom, a? howed me the? ror,? ching me? about going? in public alone? ? telling them.
I wasn? oo h? abo? hat and told him I had let them know I was heading to? pt, and ? ay it wa? that big of a deal.? ? eople gave me weird looks, b? hat was it--nobo? ? hat afraid or angry.? t then, ? ? ueen came through the bathroom door, took a look at us, apol? ed, and ? bac? t. Just then, I noticed a fat ol? y in a crowd in the ? ance wearing? e nettin? er a wifebeater and ? e sh? , and pointed hi? t to my dad,? ing ? if something like that could go out ? ubli? hy couldn't I? Of course, he? ghed and? ove? , so we all decided ? ? ime to leave and head for Be? ? />
So he got in his ca black 1992 Lincoln), I got in mine (uni? ifie? ? hing), and my mom got in? ? hite 2003 Impala), a? e took off in this l? drizzle in a co? . We? on the interstate and headed north (the? ual Bern's is south of Busch? ? , and you wouldn't need the interstate) in a? aight line. nge thin? ere ? ening--my fa? ? driving? too? t and reckle? , ca? ere ? ving and spinnin? t, I? ? ting? ? , and El? t had materi? ed out of no? e in my ? enger seat.
Just then, an old? ahead o? ? ? t be? ? dad had? him off so ? ely he h? ? ply the brakes as hard and fast ? ossible with? able? ? . I managed to avoid him? t after I was past, I saw that my mom wa? uck behind him. ? asn't long b? e I was ? ing ? ? ? ens and ? ing at my rearview, maki? ure nothing was taking m? ? ? e. Just then, I saw a fire engine on the? ? e side of the in? tate? s si? going, and a helico? coming down. I sped up, my mother close behind,? ing to g? ast the ? before ? ere stuck in the long line o? affic blocke? the emergen? ehicles, only to be ? rise? ? air ? oldiers ? ? oad.
? ? e markin? t a chalk line in the road, and motioned? us ? top. Once I did ? , I rolled down ? indow an? ked why we h? ? op, and one ? ? oldiers said that a heli? ? as going to land on the other side of the chalk line, and th? e were l? because we had ? ont-row ? . I quickly explained to him that we had a 7 p.m. re? ation in Tampa, and if he would ? be so kind ? o le? go, it would be awesome and I'd toast him if we mad? in time. He tho? about it, a? aved? h of us through ? in time--I could see the helicopted practic? coming down on the roof of the ? e Impala? />
Nig? as mostly fallen by ? point, ? hings we? ? hat hard to see, so ? ? ice ? I had come to a red lig? ntil it was almo? oo late. This was be? e the light was so f? and? k that it looked like the power was failing. Fin? , the signal showed ? een arrow for the lane next to me, but nobody moved because ? asn't visible--just ? faint dark greeudge aga? an almost-black background, and it ? to yellow a? t immediately, flickering like c? before moving back to green, and then final? ? ignal for me to go ahead came on? ? ? so dark that I was ? ous ? t going ahead. A? a f? econds, I decide? ? o do it, only to see an ? lanc? irens screaming but lights off, heading stra? ? me ? ? peed? />
It wa? g before I got lost,? ning off the hig? and followi? his road? o the woods, figuring that if worst comes to? st, I kn? here this connecting road wa? o I could al? ? t ta? hat way if all else failed. But I wound up going deeper and ? er into the wood? assing ancient g? tations ? ing ? ? nds. Night had falle? ? ? hing? ? k. Finally, I ga? p an? lled ove? arking on the side of the road i? ont ? his big gree? se-looking building in f? of which a ton of cars were? ked. I knew ? ? where a bunch of deaf kids met ? larly; maybe they could ? me out.
Once? ? o th? ilding, ? ened the? al-framed, c? gated-plastic-paneled door a? ent in, ? ? seemed like? as i? ? ing ? meeting. The kids--all my age, were? ting on chairs and at ta? like an audience in front of this g? ? ? peaking ? he g? . Th? ere all the trailer-? ? ype, what we'd call hillbill? here? e any hills in Florida. ? ut me in mind of a Nazi rall? a KKK conclave,? ? hrugged it off and found an ? y chair ? he back. The buildin? self? ? t one bi? ? pace, plastic on? al framing on top of a b? lab of c? ete. The? ? ome decoration on the walls,? tly ? ? and? ff f? he "deaf? b" or wh? er, although the kid speaking seemed to ? ? resi? ? t di? sign.
So I looked a few ? ? er a? ? his hard of ? ing kid I knew in middle school,? is, and his ? le brother, who looked a? t identical. Before long? ? ? ermission, a? he kid i? ont of me had taken an i? est in me had black spiky hair and a red? ? , and he wanted to know if I wanted to check? ? ? . I said, "N? hanks, I'm kind of lost,? ? ou help me out?" He looked kind of d? pointed,? ugged, a? aid,? least check thi? t," and handed me what looked like flower clippers, but made from shsteel and the bl? ? e ve? traight, sharp, and pointy. "Play wi? his for a while--I gotta do something for a few, ok?" he said, a? hen took off? />
Okay...so I started playing? ? a little bit and walkin? ound. After a minute or two,? ent back? ide the building, where t this kind of cute girl who signed. We ? ted talking, and things were goi? ? y we? ntil I asked? , "So...? ? e yo? om? Are you local?" She looked at me, an? ? aid, "I don't know..."
Uh, okay. ? then, it was time f? he meeti? ? art agai? o I decided to give ? bun? p fobad job and tried to find the kid who gave me the clippe? o I could gi? hem back? t there was ? ign of him. The speaker aske? eryo? o sit down, so I? behind ? pair of? s who we? itting at a table, and ed at them? ? hey looked at me. The one I spoke to had an insi? he-eearing aid and h? his slig? mocking? erious look on his face.? er a? min? of going in? ? about "? ? , you know, ? ? who? e me this, he sat right ? there, can you give him these c? ers when? see him, I really gotta go, what do? mean, n? hat's not hi? ou know who I'm talking ? t, l? t give h? his, what? no, he? me look at ? e, I need to? e them back to him" and so on and so? th.
R? around ? time, I started to realize ? something here ? ? n't right. So I ? ? ? he c? ers ? ? able in front of him? ood up, and walked out. The room wen? iet ? as I walked? the door, but I didn't take? ? ice until I tried to fin? ? . No sign of it ? here. There were plenty of cars ? looked similar,? ? imil? ear ? ? their headl? s we? esponding to my remote. Not mine, though. Finally, I? nd one, but ? as in the middle of the lawn? h a bunch of? s be it, blocking the wa? t. I figured I could dri? ell ? ? o ma? er it between all th? her ? , until I noticed a flickeri? hadow on the oth? ide ? he car, and immedately d? ? o th? ound to look underneath and see if I? ld bust someone ? he act of screwing around.
No sig? thing there...so? tood up and tried the door handle--only ? ealize it was th? ong kind? ? a freakin' ? a 88 Oldsmobile, like the kind my si? used to drive. Totally off...an? this point,? ealized ? I had found? elf ? he kind ? ituation that yo? ually think ? only make movies ab trapped in the wood? our means of escape ? ? ically blocked, ? al and/or physic? ? re....and I had ? com? ely give? ay my on? eapon! That kid was prob? ? uall? ying to help me. ? id!
So I ? ? oss the stre? o what looked like a? -phone box in a ? ? ch attem? o find my car--is actually an ignition box, which meant basically that I? ? tick my key in i? urn it, and ? ould remotel? art my car i? ? ? hin 100 ? . The first time? ried, nothing happened. The seco? ime, the engine turned over, and I immediate? pun ? ? o look for it. Nothing. So I? ned back to the box--and? iced? the? ? ime ? e was an old white building behind it. All along the ground ? e the wall came down, there were piles a? ? of stuff, and on top of? ? ? ? e paintings I'd done. One was a painting I'd only tho? abo? ? before,? the others were? ual, and? ? ed getting very c? ed out. ? had been fo? ing me f? hat long? />
Suddenly, I? ? y pissed off, and th? ? ? ime ? hich? erio? beg? o think ? ? ? uation. ? ? o those hillbillies were goi? ? ? ith me? Maybe screw ? ? ith me a? tle bit, show me pictures of my family being? up?? ? it was time to ? ? actly wh? hey had ? ped ? ? cheap, tree-filled ? ? orld. Ti? ? ? hem down, on? one, and to? ? ? ? of ? e. My on? egret was losing those c? ers,? ? as a? s good at im? ? ion.
So I? ned ? nd a? ent back? o the meeting house, considering? I m? ? ner one ? hem, which body ? s I ? ld f? on, whe? ? hould do the? embowelment ? ? ? ? ? ario? ros and ? of differen? ? of ? pened plastic (if no? al a? nati? as available), only to find ? the spa? as d? ted.? ? ? ty. ? ign of life ? ? er. So I spi? ound? ? t again, and realize that there's a vide? cade adjoini? he meeting house, which I totally di? ? ice. It's blocked of? a chain-link fence,? the? ? arking l? here, so I head ? hat direction, having to go out ? ? oad again in ord? o be able to go ? ? he fence? st as I enter the parking lot, a? her and her ? le boys come walking? ? ? he arcade, a? he kids are all ? y, having had a ly good time? />
So I'm ? ? arking lot, and I lo? ? d th? ilding, and realize ? e's ? nkyard behind th? cade. Maybe ? 's a pla? ? art...
And I sudd? wak? ? igh* that could have been interesting...? ? le="clear:both; padding-? om:0.25em">
2:01 PM 0 Com? ? pan> ? pan ? s="item-? rol blog-adm? id-241070731">
? il 8, 2006
? ? le="clear:both;">
So last n? , I was a demon.Well, I ? looked the ? ? ill lived a normal life, and went to? ch Garde? ith ? arents a? his ? d kid I used to ? from elemen? school, Ell? . El? t's kind of ? prick, you ? ? I ? kind of looked like Hel? ? />
I wa? ed ad Egypt for a while, before deciding to head back and find my pa? s in this large,? ered? ? ? ith escalators. I sat on this bench while a larg? owd ? ? ing ? , until I finall? otte? ? ? , who were accompanied by another deaf man. ? failed to notice me? ting there--odd because I wag and re? o I got up and followed them. On? hey noticed I was there, my dad dragged me into the ? est building, shoved me into the? hroom, a? howed me the? ror,? ching me? about going? in public alone? ? telling them.
I wasn? oo h? abo? hat and told him I had let them know I was heading to? pt, and ? ay it wa? that big of a deal.? ? eople gave me weird looks, b? hat was it--nobo? ? hat afraid or angry.? t then, ? ? ueen came through the bathroom door, took a look at us, apol? ed, and ? bac? t. Just then, I noticed a fat ol? y in a crowd in the ? ance wearing? e nettin? er a wifebeater and ? e sh? , and pointed hi? t to my dad,? ing ? if something like that could go out ? ubli? hy couldn't I? Of course, he? ghed and? ove? , so we all decided ? ? ime to leave and head for Be? ? />
So he got in his ca black 1992 Lincoln), I got in mine (uni? ifie? ? hing), and my mom got in? ? hite 2003 Impala), a? e took off in this l? drizzle in a co? . We? on the interstate and headed north (the? ual Bern's is south of Busch? ? , and you wouldn't need the interstate) in a? aight line. nge thin? ere ? ening--my fa? ? driving? too? t and reckle? , ca? ere ? ving and spinnin? t, I? ? ting? ? , and El? t had materi? ed out of no? e in my ? enger seat.
Just then, an old? ahead o? ? ? t be? ? dad had? him off so ? ely he h? ? ply the brakes as hard and fast ? ossible with? able? ? . I managed to avoid him? t after I was past, I saw that my mom wa? uck behind him. ? asn't long b? e I was ? ing ? ? ? ens and ? ing at my rearview, maki? ure nothing was taking m? ? ? e. Just then, I saw a fire engine on the? ? e side of the in? tate? s si? going, and a helico? coming down. I sped up, my mother close behind,? ing to g? ast the ? before ? ere stuck in the long line o? affic blocke? the emergen? ehicles, only to be ? rise? ? air ? oldiers ? ? oad.
? ? e markin? t a chalk line in the road, and motioned? us ? top. Once I did ? , I rolled down ? indow an? ked why we h? ? op, and one ? ? oldiers said that a heli? ? as going to land on the other side of the chalk line, and th? e were l? because we had ? ont-row ? . I quickly explained to him that we had a 7 p.m. re? ation in Tampa, and if he would ? be so kind ? o le? go, it would be awesome and I'd toast him if we mad? in time. He tho? about it, a? aved? h of us through ? in time--I could see the helicopted practic? coming down on the roof of the ? e Impala? />
Nig? as mostly fallen by ? point, ? hings we? ? hat hard to see, so ? ? ice ? I had come to a red lig? ntil it was almo? oo late. This was be? e the light was so f? and? k that it looked like the power was failing. Fin? , the signal showed ? een arrow for the lane next to me, but nobody moved because ? asn't visible--just ? faint dark greeudge aga? an almost-black background, and it ? to yellow a? t immediately, flickering like c? before moving back to green, and then final? ? ignal for me to go ahead came on? ? ? so dark that I was ? ous ? t going ahead. A? a f? econds, I decide? ? o do it, only to see an ? lanc? irens screaming but lights off, heading stra? ? me ? ? peed? />
2:00 PM 0 Com? ? pan> ? pan ? s="item-? rol blog-adm? id-241070731">
? p;
April 6, 2006When we get ? ? e find a? ge house? ll of old th? , which ? ypical. But we also find somethi? ? ected--a secret room accessed through a wall in the solarium. In there, the wall? e painte? een, there is a large chalkboard? o lo? ables, a pin? aneled bar, and a pile o? apled pa? s of? er on the table ? he back.? ? , I investigate the paper, and a? rprised to find ? it is a photocopied, ha? itten version of my grea? eat-uncle's will? />
It ? ts off like ? : "With ? gone to enjoy her elflife, and Jack? h joined? t of? enkind, it f? to ? o di? e of? ? ? things ? ..." Even in the dream, ? flashed me back to and the elves-related book I find ? he b? tore/lib? there...I'm? ting goo? thi? eami? tuff? />
So? how ? ? mom and she scoffs, "He? ? ays a little weird. Don't take it too se? sly, okay?" When I expla? o her th? his seems to be his ? real will, she look? me strangely, a? ays ? I can go ahead and take it and have? ead. She? oo busy pricing ? ything in the house ? he momen? o some help I can offer with the will would be g? . So? ake the packets and go o? o one of the? ting rooms and curl up on the couch, reading? ough the wil? hen I come a? s something ? rising--? left me the? se a? ? al million dollars! I hastily pa? ? ? ? est ? ? ill ? ee if he? ually lenything to his kids, and it seems he? rovided for them? her amply, d? ing up h? hings and the rest of the money among them.
So no? ? ime to go back, find my mom, and tell her th? ather odd development. When I fi? he hidden room again, there's no sign of? ? t the chalkboard is beckoning somehow. I find a pot full of large, c? ed chalk, an? art ? ? ing. Scene a? scene fill the ? d, a? hey fade as soon as ? 're ? leted. By the time I've used up the ? piece of chalk, I hear voices behind me and? ? ound--and there are some people ? ing ? nd of the lo? ables, one of whom is Joey, an old high school friend. They'? laying a? d game, which I ignore, electing? tead to try to find more chalk. Can't find any--? all? -erase markers, whic? e lined up e? o-end in end? col? and? s on flo? o-ceiling shelve? st outsi? he entrance ? ? ecret room.
Just as I loo? the she? , a lone green marker topple? er a? ? on the floor toward me.? ick ? ? ? it, and? some reason, touch ? o the chalkboard--an? ? hing ? ? />
When the room and house clear away, it's a few ? s later, and I'm preparing for g? ? om grad school. The school is combination of RIT and? on Hall ? ersity, of a? laces--but only ? ? ense that the place is called SHU? t th? ildings are done in RIT bricks. The key thin? hough, is th? ? lace looks like ? oup of huge, modernistic? ? als done in dark brick. ? arch? upported by squa? illars, strange cyclopea? enellations, Escher-like? ? of stairs. I'm ? sed in a gra? ion gown and am in a line of people ? sed the same? I am, a? alki? ? here? />
Somehow, ? ind up at this gymnasium/aud? ium kind of plac? here we'? ? ff into ? ? ? oom off the main space. We c? ? ? oom is filled wi? eople sitting on chairs, ready f? he g? ation ceremo? o begin. I d? know where to g? what to do, so ? ? tand around. Suddenly, an in? reter finds me, and ? her one, and Wanda, a fo? co-worker. ? ? ? ? ? elves an? ide ? ? seaong the othe? aduates ? ? oom off the main hall. We're? posed to? there a? ait unti? 's o? ime. In the meantime, one of the? ? ? s ad? ? traditional hoo? hich is green with black? ? ? is ? his point that I feel something strange, and know that I? e to? away. So I stan? , te? he i? ? ers ? ave to go to the? hroom, a? ? traight out ? he building and into? arking lot, ? e I find my car, start i? , and get moving? />
I have ? urn ? twice, then head down a short little road, then head left again to get ? he main ? of the parking lot.? t before I g? o the main exit,? ee a? bage can? ing on its own. ? sliding along, and ? art to freak? , until ? peed? and? eali? hat someone ? he c? hat's now leaving the parking lot has lassoed the garbage can an? pulling it along for a lark. Soon, the can ? ? and rolls away, and I leave the? , on? o al? ? the? front of me. I get o? o see wh? he deal is, and see the ? er laying on the ground,? ered in blood and dead. I re? e th? hatever ? as I felt inside the hal? st have gone? ? his guy ? ? hinking ? ould be me, and was wrong. I take a chance, ? ? o th? ? ? eat of his car--ging? avoiding thnd-aid and blood? ter ? he f? of the ? ? side--a? ake off,? clin? ound campus and coming back ? o find a? king space.
E? ? ? ful? ? ll, in fact, that people are? king on the ? sy bits and out ? ? oad, eve? hich? . Finally, I abandon the? ? ectly ac? ? arking lot entrance and run backthe hall, where I manage to insi? ? self? o the line o? aduates now accepting their ? ? ? st in ti? o pick i? ? />
Thi? eam was some? ina? ate-? ter's and Ph.D g? don't g? ? hoo? ntil they've? ten their degree, and then it's a little? emony wi? ? ? ? or head of department or wh? er. ? ug*...
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 1:57 PM&? ;0 Comments
April 4, 2006
Mishmash last night.
First,? emember walking through a neighborho? hat was all ? ? hite buildings and cobalt bl? rim, whi? eminded me a? of ? orini. T? ? as extra? tra clea? his brillianue, and the sun was intense and ? whitish color. ? rned a corner and walked? n a stre? hat hit ? her street in a ? nction, and ? tal? ildi? tood there.
Basic? , the whole building? open to the? on ? y floor, and the? floor had a pool and pool house on it, done San? tyle. That f? ? ? uall? st a pla? ? ? ted by 4? ? illars, and then the flo? ? underneath was smaller,? ? ed by 4 pillars of its own, and the one under th? as even smaller,? ? ed by another 4 pillars of its own. ? as like ? ? n to the? tom. No walls, just floors a? illars, ? hite it turned bfrom the? ? anding i? ont ? ? un, which seemed to somehow ? minate i? ? he f? ? way. It was like an inverted ziggurat being ? orte? a massi? ersion of those Pin-? oys.? ried to take? ? ? ith my Treo,? ? t then, one ? ? uns set behind me, a? ? ? urned black right above, fading ? ? ame brillian? ure ? ? ay down ? he h? on.
T? uns ? ? e left only managed ? ilho? e th? ilding, making it un? able? pho? ? , so? alke? ound the buildin? rying to find a good vantage point, and once I found one--anothe? n set, a? ? ? ? uddenly fill? ith ? e roaring ne? ink and -orange ? ds, like? unrise o? ? ? e inrida, and the sky was ba? ? ? ual blue? ? n't until then I realized I was on a? ? ith ? iple sun? hich? lain? ? trange l? ing effects and the sky.
Right after the seco? unse? he building in f? of ? uddenly became indef? e, like I was seeing? edg? ? ? hick smoke, and it became a ? lar high? ? artment building. I ? d a creaking behind me, and turned around to see? imilar one forming. ? the? he dream shifted gears, and ? ddenly knew I was in Roc? er, and ? Kim? ed in th? ildi? hat had formed behind me, while Julie lived ? he o? hat had come? of the alien ede. I went to find Kim--a? he details are g? ed over in my me? ? ? hat, we ? ? ? ? ayin? all nig? ntil 4 a.m. She ? then to go ? he o? building and find Julie, since we hadn't seen hide or hair of h? et. After a ? le h? , I realized she hadn't come bac? o I got on m? eo and looked for and her Sidekick II. Somehow, I figure? t she had fallen asleep and I'd have to ? ? ? ? oke ? o see wh? as going on.
After a while, I? ? ed and decid? o go to bed myself, but ? ? er IMing Kim? eral times a? ? ting back in? ch a? ward. When I wok? , I checked my Treo ? ee hway ? age, and it had changed to "? onal? istant"-? ? ? ? esponse to my re? t. I had no idea if she had already arrived, if ? ? sage had been there for a while, if she even knew I was in a bedroom, sleeping. So I? up--and? roo? ? ere ? ? oom with me,? ting in ? eling ch? at ? long whdesk alo? ? all with? indow, just ? ting as ? ? hey hadn't noticed me. I said, "Hi," they said hi back, I ga? ? ome ? hes and ? ? o the bathroom, ? to realize ? the times I had used the bathroom b? e, I had bee? posed be? e th? osted-glass window in the bathroom door had to be cl in order to hide anything, and it had been open? eral inches all night. So I ? ? ? indow--and e? thing changed.
I was in my dad's Avalanche with my fa? and thi? y who seemed familiar, but I'd n? seen him before. Th? alanche was differen? ? ? ing wheel was on the rig? ide,? the left, in the ma? of the ? ish. We were? ked in a? in front of? ? mall th? ? ? in front of this enormous hospital--it was 108 floo? traight up, nice and? nd--the ? ance of which was in the? ip mall,? ? ed as a small clinic? ? her,? ter, and? ere ? peri? ith ? ? , be? e for so? easo? e we? unning from ? e sh? y people? o of whi? ere righ? tside th? uck. Fin? , th? y decided that my mom and si? should go f? , together, then him, then me last. So my mom and si? ? ? of the car, right i? ont ? hem, and walked into the clinic.
? ? e noticed, a? hen ? letely i? ed. the? went, also totally ignored.? alked a ? le b? ith my d? hile he was reading a newspaper, and suddenly he said, "Go! Go now!" So I go? t of the? ck, walking ? uickly as I could while tryi? o seem casual, c? ing a pair of shoes, and I could the? ahead of me vanishing ithe ? of the clinic. I di? look back. But ? as I reached the sidewa? unning along the sto? ? , I ? ped a shoe a? crambled to pick it up. As I did so, I looked ba? o see th? o of them noticing me an? eaking into ? n. Just then, I realized they di? ? e about my mom, ? er, ? hat ? y. They were? e for me? eryone else, including my dad and his newspaper,? ? ? otection? />
So ? un around, b? ? o the clinic, thought for a split second about locki? he door, decided aga? it, and broke into ? ll-o? n through the waiting room, ? to see two halls leading of? ? e di? ? . No sign of? one who had gone before me, so I decided immedia? to take the left-hand one and as I was sprinting down it, my mom and si? ? ped out of a doo? ? ? ? n the hall, ? iculatin? antically for me to get ? e and get in. I could he? he f? ? of ? ? ers, and kne? ? ldn' long before they saw all of us, so I ge? ? ? mom and? ter to get in before they we? een, and ducked ? he left ? ead,? o this a? ? ll of medica? uipment, fully expecting the people ? ing ? ? n past, failing ? ? hat I was there.
Before I? a chance to see if ? ? ? ork, though,? up. *sigh*
First,? emember walking through a neighborho? hat was all ? ? hite buildings and cobalt bl? rim, whi? eminded me a? of ? orini. T? ? as extra? tra clea? his brillianue, and the sun was intense and ? whitish color. ? rned a corner and walked? n a stre? hat hit ? her street in a ? nction, and ? tal? ildi? tood there.
Basic? , the whole building? open to the? on ? y floor, and the? floor had a pool and pool house on it, done San? tyle. That f? ? ? uall? st a pla? ? ? ted by 4? ? illars, and then the flo? ? underneath was smaller,? ? ed by 4 pillars of its own, and the one under th? as even smaller,? ? ed by another 4 pillars of its own. ? as like ? ? n to the? tom. No walls, just floors a? illars, ? hite it turned bfrom the? ? anding i? ont ? ? un, which seemed to somehow ? minate i? ? he f? ? way. It was like an inverted ziggurat being ? orte? a massi? ersion of those Pin-? oys.? ried to take? ? ? ith my Treo,? ? t then, one ? ? uns set behind me, a? ? ? urned black right above, fading ? ? ame brillian? ure ? ? ay down ? he h? on.
T? uns ? ? e left only managed ? ilho? e th? ilding, making it un? able? pho? ? , so? alke? ound the buildin? rying to find a good vantage point, and once I found one--anothe? n set, a? ? ? ? uddenly fill? ith ? e roaring ne? ink and -orange ? ds, like? unrise o? ? ? e inrida, and the sky was ba? ? ? ual blue? ? n't until then I realized I was on a? ? ith ? iple sun? hich? lain? ? trange l? ing effects and the sky.
Right after the seco? unse? he building in f? of ? uddenly became indef? e, like I was seeing? edg? ? ? hick smoke, and it became a ? lar high? ? artment building. I ? d a creaking behind me, and turned around to see? imilar one forming. ? the? he dream shifted gears, and ? ddenly knew I was in Roc? er, and ? Kim? ed in th? ildi? hat had formed behind me, while Julie lived ? he o? hat had come? of the alien ede. I went to find Kim--a? he details are g? ed over in my me? ? ? hat, we ? ? ? ? ayin? all nig? ntil 4 a.m. She ? then to go ? he o? building and find Julie, since we hadn't seen hide or hair of h? et. After a ? le h? , I realized she hadn't come bac? o I got on m? eo and looked for and her Sidekick II. Somehow, I figure? t she had fallen asleep and I'd have to ? ? ? ? oke ? o see wh? as going on.
After a while, I? ? ed and decid? o go to bed myself, but ? ? er IMing Kim? eral times a? ? ting back in? ch a? ward. When I wok? , I checked my Treo ? ee hway ? age, and it had changed to "? onal? istant"-? ? ? ? esponse to my re? t. I had no idea if she had already arrived, if ? ? sage had been there for a while, if she even knew I was in a bedroom, sleeping. So I? up--and? roo? ? ere ? ? oom with me,? ting in ? eling ch? at ? long whdesk alo? ? all with? indow, just ? ting as ? ? hey hadn't noticed me. I said, "Hi," they said hi back, I ga? ? ome ? hes and ? ? o the bathroom, ? to realize ? the times I had used the bathroom b? e, I had bee? posed be? e th? osted-glass window in the bathroom door had to be cl in order to hide anything, and it had been open? eral inches all night. So I ? ? ? indow--and e? thing changed.
I was in my dad's Avalanche with my fa? and thi? y who seemed familiar, but I'd n? seen him before. Th? alanche was differen? ? ? ing wheel was on the rig? ide,? the left, in the ma? of the ? ish. We were? ked in a? in front of? ? mall th? ? ? in front of this enormous hospital--it was 108 floo? traight up, nice and? nd--the ? ance of which was in the? ip mall,? ? ed as a small clinic? ? her,? ter, and? ere ? peri? ith ? ? , be? e for so? easo? e we? unning from ? e sh? y people? o of whi? ere righ? tside th? uck. Fin? , th? y decided that my mom and si? should go f? , together, then him, then me last. So my mom and si? ? ? of the car, right i? ont ? hem, and walked into the clinic.
? ? e noticed, a? hen ? letely i? ed. the? went, also totally ignored.? alked a ? le b? ith my d? hile he was reading a newspaper, and suddenly he said, "Go! Go now!" So I go? t of the? ck, walking ? uickly as I could while tryi? o seem casual, c? ing a pair of shoes, and I could the? ahead of me vanishing ithe ? of the clinic. I di? look back. But ? as I reached the sidewa? unning along the sto? ? , I ? ped a shoe a? crambled to pick it up. As I did so, I looked ba? o see th? o of them noticing me an? eaking into ? n. Just then, I realized they di? ? e about my mom, ? er, ? hat ? y. They were? e for me? eryone else, including my dad and his newspaper,? ? ? otection? />
So ? un around, b? ? o the clinic, thought for a split second about locki? he door, decided aga? it, and broke into ? ll-o? n through the waiting room, ? to see two halls leading of? ? e di? ? . No sign of? one who had gone before me, so I decided immedia? to take the left-hand one and as I was sprinting down it, my mom and si? ? ped out of a doo? ? ? ? n the hall, ? iculatin? antically for me to get ? e and get in. I could he? he f? ? of ? ? ers, and kne? ? ldn' long before they saw all of us, so I ge? ? ? mom and? ter to get in before they we? een, and ducked ? he left ? ead,? o this a? ? ll of medica? uipment, fully expecting the people ? ing ? ? n past, failing ? ? hat I was there.
Before I? a chance to see if ? ? ? ork, though,? up. *sigh*
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 1:57 PM&? ;0 Comments
? ril 3, 2006
? class="blog? ">It wa? rang? hough. E? time I ? , those brig? ? hite sparks woul? upt out of nowhere a? pin all ? nd me so? t they looked like a? er beam ? ing a scinti? ing red-cornered, white-outlined? coph? -like co? uction e? ing my body,? it was dynamic as I ? , ma? ? ? un around in midair. I could? o ma? hose? tle balls of colored light and have them follow ? ? ? he air, then? them loose ? epeat a ? ern I made. ? as..? chedelic? />
Suddenly, somethi? ? ed. It felt like near the end of ? ix: Revolutions, whe? ? ? eali? ewriting? elf after the final,? ? smic? tle ? een Neo and the ? hs. Nothing was visibly difft, b? ? hing had changed. An? ddenly, ? ? l I had been? olved with for a while, Beth? epped fo? d, a? he look in her eyes was so diffe? I knew it h? ? hing to ? ith her. She raised her hand and in ? ? ? ame kind of gun held by the childlike de? from the? erwheat Mill incident, and just ? ? apping away, bright pink bolts of en? ? sing? t me. Fortunately, I? ? uick to get hit, and what fo? ? what seems to be an amazingly cleve? ? e pa? n.
No? ? e in the group even seems to be ? e ths something bad ? ening. They think this girl shooting at me is all a joke and? it's hilarious. The onl? ? ion is my si? , and she seems relatively nervous. Finally, I duck behi? ? eak ? ? ? ? oof and think for a few seconds. Something h? aken over the body of this girl and ? ? to kill me. Why? Hell if I know. Should I kill her instead? No, ? ? ? ? lt, I should? t pl? ? ? of the game and see if she can't be alive at the end of this.
So? ? faking her out,? earing in the air behind and abo? ? ? er, ? ing her shoo? me once, th? lowl? ifting down ? round to? e he? ? o me, and wh? ? ? s to make her way underneath the roof, I? bac? and? ? ? o th? ont side, above ? ? eryone is, a? ? uns back over there. We ? his for a while,? il, when I'm? ing ? to the ? p, I? tead zoom over to ano? she? on the other side of the warehouse. The? ire ? ? ns, following me? t the Be? hing trails far behind. She walks under the green pa? n I'd made earlier, and sudd? that shift happens again. She's ? ? />
So I float back to the ? nd, take? tep, and go back up again, over and ? like I'm on the moon. E? one laughs, ? ? ? mallest kid's hands, and take he? ? h me. Un? ? ely, I m? dge her ? and the mom? m she gains from zooming up with me-? ? the control over al? de I? e--m? ? hea? mps into a beam ? ? arehouse roof, a? he immediate? ? ? ying. Boy, do I feel like shit. ? ? ift ? ? o th? ound, like a fea? or ? ? o ma? ? ? itio? om a? ? ound? ier for her, and I give her ? g before? olving: No more ? ing off. The sparks rapidly rotating and tra? ing across my body diminish, then vanish. Wh? he bright red-white ligh? ? ? park? itch off, so doe? ? hing? e, and I? lunged into ? blackness.
Snly, a lamp some? e flashes on, partially blinding me and making me throw my arms across m? es. When? ake my arms down, I wake up. No ? in the room except the one ? he ceiling fan. Strange.? ? le="clear:both; padding-? om:0.25em">
posted by VanDerG? ? p; # 1:56 PM 0 Comm? ? an>
? an c? ? em-c? ol blog-admin pid-241070731">![?]()
April 1, 2006
Now that I've ? ? he new a? er, some dreams to catch up on..? />
The? st a? er-free night, I dreamed that I was one of a group of fo? eople: one o? ? and 2 g? , one of which I knew was named Mina? pare? we were? ? eople, found in the darkest jungles and ? ght back to civilization in an attem? o tame our animal natures. Mina had been? nd f? ; th? her guy and I had been found in ? ? oximity both in time and space; and the second girl had been? nd alone. This girl and ? arted to? ? ? ort ? ? ? hip type thing, but before long, we were all? posed to go on a ship and go oversea? his like...18th or 19th ? ury). On? e got there, my girl went off the sh? ith some? , and the three ? s fo? ed--when? ? ? ning the other g? ent ? and wen? nning along the ? f on all? rs, and Mina followed close behind him.
They ? up ? ? hip, so I decided to follow them. There were? eral gangplanks leading ? o the deck, and the othe? ? arte? shing them off. ? e were cops running along the berth, and som? , th? her guy was down on the dock? shing the gangpl? off. There was one ? one, and I could see that he wa? arti? o re? e that if he took care of all th? , he? ldn't be able to? back on the shi? o he ran up, the? s close on his h? ? t th? ? ed at the bottom to let him fini? unni? ? ome kind of ? ? iquette involved. Once he reached the deck, I bolted and he followed me. We ran down this na? alleyway betwee? o on? ? ildings, only togreeted ? ? ? of more? s coming? n th? her end. So for some reason,? ? this water ? le I som? had at them, which knocked them over, a? e ran past.
A? that point, it was ? this co? eries of rooms and d? and? t consta? running.? s of twists and turns, blind? ? that actual? urne? t to? e hidden doors, all ? ? ff. Really compl? ? hip. Really big ? , too. At one point, I found this cargo hold that he? his enti? aili? hip ? looked like it was a pirate shi? a Spanish frigate or something.? ried the can? ? ying to see if I? ld hole the hull of the larg? ? it didn? ork out.? ? hat,? an back ? o the deck, ? to see the other feral guy backed into a co? ? owling at this o? man who sto? here? h Mina at his side. ? as only then that I understo? hat the other gi? as dead and ? thi? her guy and I would be caged and? on ? lay, all thanks ina's be? al.
The following night, I dream? hat I had been hired und? ? able by ? deaf fa? to look? ? ? oldest boy, who? around 6 years old and a hellion.Th? eren? ure ? ? wro? ith him, if ? as a behavioral diso? or ? le childlike? berance. So I go to their place, and this ki? really ? ing ? p. The d? kind of a dista? ype,? he'? ? good wi? ? ? ounger boys. The mom's kind ? oungish and ? n't strike m? bei? he most ? onsible type. An? , the kid do? ? hing and the dad yells at hi? o the ki? ns into a cl? in the livi? oom and ? s there.
So I'm like? ? his is re? ? rofessional and I haven't do? hat in a long time, and...yeah, ? hanks. So I go back insi? ? k the dad about ? ? houl? ? in terms of? ting paid, and he sits down and tries to? ? ? on a piece ? ? ? />
In? ery inte? ing ? ? he next night, I dre? hat I'm ? ing out ? ? ? ? h Milli, this girl from RIT named Lauren, and some guy. ? ? quite camping, ? gh--? e's ? ? ? ting? up in the woods ? e ths a ? ? and a b? hin-screen TV se? on a fallen tre? unk, and everyone's chilling? 's a? ? ? , and I'm sitting in my car, reading thi? tronomy book that, in th? eam, I got for C? ? ? ? is ? old red VW Bug, okay? Anyway, I? s the book into the ? enger seat and leave the? , going ? to the ? o watch with the? and? ren. In the meantime? dre? ? ecti? ? s to Milli, who's looking for me? />
She see? ? and walks over to it, but notic? hat the windows seem to ? team? p, b? he c? aguely make out a shape inside. She ? a bad feeling, but nudges a? closer, when wi? t any warnin? ? hing? ge, ? , and re? ? own ? ? s
? his time, th? n's totally gone, and the light is fadin? o she and I run off to find the others. A minute? er, ? eali? ? ersh? opse whe? he TV and co? er are, turn around, and? to find? uitable ? e through th? ees to g? o that c? ing. The lig? almost gone, an? 's makin? ? d fo? to see a go? ? ? gh--the trees lo? olid. Finall? ? st blunder o? ? ? gh and find the guy ? he c? ter,? no sign of ? en. ? ug* So a? hree of ? ut of the woods--skirting th? ? here my car ? arked--b? e get lost, and wind up havi? ? ay in the woods all nigh? aiting f? ? ? o rise again? end? raining a little bi? o we spe? he e? e night freaking abo? heth? hose red-bro? hing? e going to g? s.
Once dawn has arrived, we the way out along th? rail we didn't notice the night before, and follow it to? oad, whe? here? his ? oy of white ? and van? ith a cop ca? lled up ? to the ? t car on the? ? e shoulder of the road. ? ? e so? eopl? anding o? nnin? ound? side--mo? Indian and Asian kids. ? ? e 2 ? le boys in f? of the ? t car, a stocky teen? ? ? anding not far o? ? r right, and the? is talking ? his older Indian? ? t to the? rol car. Suddenl? he 2? tle ? col? ? hile the teenage? agge? o his knees, ano? teenage? ies to get out of the second? ? keels over, half-in and hal? t of the? , and the Indian? sta? ? ? ays upright. Everyone else, all ? ? eople in the? s, are dead.
The 2 little kids and the teenager a? witching and coming out of i? hile the? who tri? o ge? t of the? is ? t. The cop is like...who? hat's going on? ? e go over there and tell him what happened ie woods and ? someone? ? ? sing. He calls o? ? s and they come and brin? to ? arents', whe? e all pass out. I wa? p the next morning at 6:30 a.m. and head? o the living room, only ? ee Lauren sitting in the recline? atching TV, and eating ice cream. I grab some food from the hen, and we have this long, real? trange conve? ion.
? ah...that's it.
I'm standing in a la? ith ? arents, looking ? his large light ? ? ick ? e. We go up ? he f? door and knock, and we're let i? ? tran? sullen-looking young Mexican girl. ? alk into? ery spac? ? ing room, with a? on a raised? race to the right, a big? een ? urrounde? ? hite lea? ? ch on another raised? race to the ? , and another couch with ano? TV behi? he bar o? o the right ? he back ? he living room. Off ? he left ? to the big-screen is a hallway.
? a large family.? ee boys,? r girls, all? ? ive ? ome ? ee. The parents are sini? people, who? ely even spe? ? . The sibling who's a "frien? ? ? as ? ? e ba? exist--? cle? hat my having to spe? he n? there (for ? ? ? ? eason) is an? ? ion, and it's got them on edge. ? arents e? ually leave, and? ave them? the frooor, which has a glaring defect--it's one of those 2-door jobs, ? e one of the doors is al? ? t wi? pecial latch? hat can open it ? ou need to move something large into the? se--appa? ly, the special latches are broken, so e? time yo? ? ? ? sid? he left side swings wide open, a? ave ? pend some ti? rying to? ? , th? ? ? sid? ? her.
My "friend"--thi? ? ound my age--shows m? ound a little bit. E? one except f? wo of the girls have their o? oom. All are almost totally silent, looking at me with dull resentme? hat ? don't feel the need to explain.? se i? ge--the hallway from the? ing room I mentioned? ? opens off into three bedrooms, then ano? ? ing room? h a couch and a large TV, with another h? ay leading off from the opposite end of the room that leads to anoth? hree bedrooms and a large bathroom.
I? e with me a change of clothes an? o books.? some reason, I hang? ? least one of the books througho? he dream. After my friend shows me his bedroom, the drea? dden? ? ? dating me on the? uation. ? ? me an old news broa? ? ? ? ? ? ago. The fa? isn't norma? he kids are called "The Children of en."? arently, they're qui? rolific killers--they're kno? o ki? eople and eat their ? ts, like some bi? e "P? of Five? tec ? ifice. They'? nstoppable, yet aren? ? ? ral in a? ? hat I can make out. Yet I have no choice abo? tayi? here? the night.
A? finding thi? t, I immedia? cla? and drop of? change of clothes in this extra bed they've? up in m? iend? oom. He insists we g? t to the? ing room? h his fa? ? 's dark ? ide now.? ake my book. Right b? e we leave h? oom, I notice a strange pile of ? tic sheeting shoved underneath his desk,? ? , and fo? him? . We? s the bathroom, ? e one of? bro? ? taking a sh? , th? he living room, ? e hi? her ? her ? layi? ideo games. No o? peaks to one ano? , no acknowledge? , nothing. We he? o the living roo? here? ? ? are? led up on a couc? haring a beer. When we e? , they look ? s, b? ay nothing.
T? ibling a? ing ? ? s me over to the? , and fl? the light o? er i? hile? turi? o me that I ? ? it on one of the stools. The? se is remark? static; it's one of the onl? ildings I can remember dreaming ? t that doesn't change la? once in? hile. The little? ter ? ? me and ? arents in walks up and j? us. She looks at me, and sm? , showing her teeth, and speaks,? no sound comes out. She looks down ? he book I have i? hand, a? ? to take it ? from me? ying? to ? ? ? about it, I? ? ? of her ? and smile, shaking my head. All? ? ion on her face disappears as she looks towa? he f? r. Someone is coming? />
For so? eason, m? iend takes me ba? o his bedroo? here he ? me chec? e-mail and we noodl? ound a little bit, just killing time? ddenly, he acts like he ? s someone callin? ? he living room and g? my arm, dragging me along. ? ? rocess, ? ? he book I've been carrying around, and as we? ? he broth? ? ? ring suddenl? eps out ? he b? oom and ? es at me? h th? eally di? bing look in? eyes. We go? ough the secondary living room, and the ? her here suddenl? ops ? ing video games, and looks at me? h this ecstatic grin on his face. Not good. ? is not good? />
The main living roos al? s li? on, blindingly bright. The ? her I'm with suddenl? ops dragging me, and I a? t lose my balance. In this dream, I'? ill deaf, so I c? und? and a word of th? tremely rapid, e? ed conve? ion the fami? ? to be having. As on? hey sudd? stop and look at me. "Gotta go pee,say, and head ba? o the bedroom instea? here I c? find the books.? earc? ? here? them, and finally find one on a high pile of board games in the back co? of the room. I grab it, shove it in? he back of my sh? , and head o? o the living room. The l? s have gone out, and evee's quiet an? ming again.
It's time? bed, and we all troop o? o the back, ? yone's eyes burning at me. We reach the room where I? taying, ? e I ask my host ? t the plastic sheeting. ? hrugs an? rns the ligh? t, and I can remember fallin? ? . When I started to dream, I wok? ? st in th? eam bed, then the real bed.
Sort of anticlimactic, re? ? t...? ? d to? the atmosphere across. ? asn't a bad dream? st a slightly of? tting one.
The? st a? er-free night, I dreamed that I was one of a group of fo? eople: one o? ? and 2 g? , one of which I knew was named Mina? pare? we were? ? eople, found in the darkest jungles and ? ght back to civilization in an attem? o tame our animal natures. Mina had been? nd f? ; th? her guy and I had been found in ? ? oximity both in time and space; and the second girl had been? nd alone. This girl and ? arted to? ? ? ort ? ? ? hip type thing, but before long, we were all? posed to go on a ship and go oversea? his like...18th or 19th ? ury). On? e got there, my girl went off the sh? ith some? , and the three ? s fo? ed--when? ? ? ning the other g? ent ? and wen? nning along the ? f on all? rs, and Mina followed close behind him.
They ? up ? ? hip, so I decided to follow them. There were? eral gangplanks leading ? o the deck, and the othe? ? arte? shing them off. ? e were cops running along the berth, and som? , th? her guy was down on the dock? shing the gangpl? off. There was one ? one, and I could see that he wa? arti? o re? e that if he took care of all th? , he? ldn't be able to? back on the shi? o he ran up, the? s close on his h? ? t th? ? ed at the bottom to let him fini? unni? ? ome kind of ? ? iquette involved. Once he reached the deck, I bolted and he followed me. We ran down this na? alleyway betwee? o on? ? ildings, only togreeted ? ? ? of more? s coming? n th? her end. So for some reason,? ? this water ? le I som? had at them, which knocked them over, a? e ran past.
A? that point, it was ? this co? eries of rooms and d? and? t consta? running.? s of twists and turns, blind? ? that actual? urne? t to? e hidden doors, all ? ? ff. Really compl? ? hip. Really big ? , too. At one point, I found this cargo hold that he? his enti? aili? hip ? looked like it was a pirate shi? a Spanish frigate or something.? ried the can? ? ying to see if I? ld hole the hull of the larg? ? it didn? ork out.? ? hat,? an back ? o the deck, ? to see the other feral guy backed into a co? ? owling at this o? man who sto? here? h Mina at his side. ? as only then that I understo? hat the other gi? as dead and ? thi? her guy and I would be caged and? on ? lay, all thanks ina's be? al.
The following night, I dream? hat I had been hired und? ? able by ? deaf fa? to look? ? ? oldest boy, who? around 6 years old and a hellion.Th? eren? ure ? ? wro? ith him, if ? as a behavioral diso? or ? le childlike? berance. So I go to their place, and this ki? really ? ing ? p. The d? kind of a dista? ype,? he'? ? good wi? ? ? ounger boys. The mom's kind ? oungish and ? n't strike m? bei? he most ? onsible type. An? , the kid do? ? hing and the dad yells at hi? o the ki? ns into a cl? in the livi? oom and ? s there.
So I'm like? ? his is re? ? rofessional and I haven't do? hat in a long time, and...yeah, ? hanks. So I go back insi? ? k the dad about ? ? houl? ? in terms of? ting paid, and he sits down and tries to? ? ? on a piece ? ? ? />
In? ery inte? ing ? ? he next night, I dre? hat I'm ? ing out ? ? ? ? h Milli, this girl from RIT named Lauren, and some guy. ? ? quite camping, ? gh--? e's ? ? ? ting? up in the woods ? e ths a ? ? and a b? hin-screen TV se? on a fallen tre? unk, and everyone's chilling? 's a? ? ? , and I'm sitting in my car, reading thi? tronomy book that, in th? eam, I got for C? ? ? ? is ? old red VW Bug, okay? Anyway, I? s the book into the ? enger seat and leave the? , going ? to the ? o watch with the? and? ren. In the meantime? dre? ? ecti? ? s to Milli, who's looking for me? />
She see? ? and walks over to it, but notic? hat the windows seem to ? team? p, b? he c? aguely make out a shape inside. She ? a bad feeling, but nudges a? closer, when wi? t any warnin? ? hing? ge, ? , and re? ? own ? ? s
? his time, th? n's totally gone, and the light is fadin? o she and I run off to find the others. A minute? er, ? eali? ? ersh? opse whe? he TV and co? er are, turn around, and? to find? uitable ? e through th? ees to g? o that c? ing. The lig? almost gone, an? 's makin? ? d fo? to see a go? ? ? gh--the trees lo? olid. Finall? ? st blunder o? ? ? gh and find the guy ? he c? ter,? no sign of ? en. ? ug* So a? hree of ? ut of the woods--skirting th? ? here my car ? arked--b? e get lost, and wind up havi? ? ay in the woods all nigh? aiting f? ? ? o rise again? end? raining a little bi? o we spe? he e? e night freaking abo? heth? hose red-bro? hing? e going to g? s.
Once dawn has arrived, we the way out along th? rail we didn't notice the night before, and follow it to? oad, whe? here? his ? oy of white ? and van? ith a cop ca? lled up ? to the ? t car on the? ? e shoulder of the road. ? ? e so? eopl? anding o? nnin? ound? side--mo? Indian and Asian kids. ? ? e 2 ? le boys in f? of the ? t car, a stocky teen? ? ? anding not far o? ? r right, and the? is talking ? his older Indian? ? t to the? rol car. Suddenl? he 2? tle ? col? ? hile the teenage? agge? o his knees, ano? teenage? ies to get out of the second? ? keels over, half-in and hal? t of the? , and the Indian? sta? ? ? ays upright. Everyone else, all ? ? eople in the? s, are dead.
The 2 little kids and the teenager a? witching and coming out of i? hile the? who tri? o ge? t of the? is ? t. The cop is like...who? hat's going on? ? e go over there and tell him what happened ie woods and ? someone? ? ? sing. He calls o? ? s and they come and brin? to ? arents', whe? e all pass out. I wa? p the next morning at 6:30 a.m. and head? o the living room, only ? ee Lauren sitting in the recline? atching TV, and eating ice cream. I grab some food from the hen, and we have this long, real? trange conve? ion.
? ah...that's it.
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The? ng lady ran up next to me, cried, "S? my mother!" and led the old? oman to the curb, where ? ? h sat down, breathing hard. I don't reme? much else a? that...? ? le="clear:both; ing-? om:0.25em">
? id me...I slept for 4 hours ? night. The ? eque? ? Read on...March 28, 2006
So in one ? he dreams I had ? night, I was walking home from scho? ith ? nch of friends on a ? ? ered? eet ? ? on the of a terrace on a large? eeply sloping hill. The dream told m? ? ? ? ? t you know h? hose things work? />
So we all found one we each wanted, th? tuck it underneath our jackets and down our ? s, a? alked off. When ? ere a block ? ? ay, we a? ulled them o? o sh? hem to each other. E? one else had a celeb? of some kind on the? oster. Mine was a map of the? ld.
So we all found one we each wanted, th? tuck it underneath our jackets and down our ? s, a? alked off. When ? ere a block ? ? ay, we a? ulled them o? o sh? hem to each other. E? one else had a celeb? of some kind on the? oster. Mine was a map of the? ld.
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March 27, 2006
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Oh, and I had a bunch of dreams last night, b? he most inte? ing one was ? e I sudd? ? nd myself onucking bull. I manag? o get of? s back, and woun? bumping? o this exotically lo? ? ng lady with close-c? ed black hair, b? e skin, and bright green eyes. She d? ? hing? ange, and the field ? ere ? ? formed into ? ? opean village with cobblestones and stuff. I? ? ? he bull ahead of us, a bunch of young men in whi? ? ? ? ahead, panicking. I tho? to myself, "Wel? his is Spain, th? hould know h? o handle bulls here!? ? ? n't the case--th? ? ? ered, and th? ? ent running out into an intersection of several road? hich opened wide. A bunch of people were running ove? iffe? ? ections,? ing to calm the bull? n. T? oung lady I met earlier was running ahea? ? ing, "Do? ? ? !" I followed th? ? o an? ? e co? , and saw a phone wi? unni? p the side of th? ilding next ? s. I? ped it off, fashioned a crude loop, and somehow managed ? ? the loo? ound the bull's neck--an? transformed? o this b? iful middle-aged wom? ith honey-colored hair a? acan? een ? ? />The? ng lady ran up next to me, cried, "S? my mother!" and led the old? oman to the curb, where ? ? h sat down, breathing hard. I don't reme? much else a? that...? ? le="clear:both; ing-? om:0.25em">
? ch 20, 2006
? class="blog? ">I'm standing in a la? ith ? arents, looking ? his large light ? ? ick ? e. We go up ? he f? door and knock, and we're let i? ? tran? sullen-looking young Mexican girl. ? alk into? ery spac? ? ing room, with a? on a raised? race to the right, a big? een ? urrounde? ? hite lea? ? ch on another raised? race to the ? , and another couch with ano? TV behi? he bar o? o the right ? he back ? he living room. Off ? he left ? to the big-screen is a hallway.
? a large family.? ee boys,? r girls, all? ? ive ? ome ? ee. The parents are sini? people, who? ely even spe? ? . The sibling who's a "frien? ? ? as ? ? e ba? exist--? cle? hat my having to spe? he n? there (for ? ? ? ? eason) is an? ? ion, and it's got them on edge. ? arents e? ually leave, and? ave them? the frooor, which has a glaring defect--it's one of those 2-door jobs, ? e one of the doors is al? ? t wi? pecial latch? hat can open it ? ou need to move something large into the? se--appa? ly, the special latches are broken, so e? time yo? ? ? ? sid? he left side swings wide open, a? ave ? pend some ti? rying to? ? , th? ? ? sid? ? her.
My "friend"--thi? ? ound my age--shows m? ound a little bit. E? one except f? wo of the girls have their o? oom. All are almost totally silent, looking at me with dull resentme? hat ? don't feel the need to explain.? se i? ge--the hallway from the? ing room I mentioned? ? opens off into three bedrooms, then ano? ? ing room? h a couch and a large TV, with another h? ay leading off from the opposite end of the room that leads to anoth? hree bedrooms and a large bathroom.
I? e with me a change of clothes an? o books.? some reason, I hang? ? least one of the books througho? he dream. After my friend shows me his bedroom, the drea? dden? ? ? dating me on the? uation. ? ? me an old news broa? ? ? ? ? ? ago. The fa? isn't norma? he kids are called "The Children of en."? arently, they're qui? rolific killers--they're kno? o ki? eople and eat their ? ts, like some bi? e "P? of Five? tec ? ifice. They'? nstoppable, yet aren? ? ? ral in a? ? hat I can make out. Yet I have no choice abo? tayi? here? the night.
A? finding thi? t, I immedia? cla? and drop of? change of clothes in this extra bed they've? up in m? iend? oom. He insists we g? t to the? ing room? h his fa? ? 's dark ? ide now.? ake my book. Right b? e we leave h? oom, I notice a strange pile of ? tic sheeting shoved underneath his desk,? ? , and fo? him? . We? s the bathroom, ? e one of? bro? ? taking a sh? , th? he living room, ? e hi? her ? her ? layi? ideo games. No o? peaks to one ano? , no acknowledge? , nothing. We he? o the living roo? here? ? ? are? led up on a couc? haring a beer. When we e? , they look ? s, b? ay nothing.
T? ibling a? ing ? ? s me over to the? , and fl? the light o? er i? hile? turi? o me that I ? ? it on one of the stools. The? se is remark? static; it's one of the onl? ildings I can remember dreaming ? t that doesn't change la? once in? hile. The little? ter ? ? me and ? arents in walks up and j? us. She looks at me, and sm? , showing her teeth, and speaks,? no sound comes out. She looks down ? he book I have i? hand, a? ? to take it ? from me? ying? to ? ? ? about it, I? ? ? of her ? and smile, shaking my head. All? ? ion on her face disappears as she looks towa? he f? r. Someone is coming? />
For so? eason, m? iend takes me ba? o his bedroo? here he ? me chec? e-mail and we noodl? ound a little bit, just killing time? ddenly, he acts like he ? s someone callin? ? he living room and g? my arm, dragging me along. ? ? rocess, ? ? he book I've been carrying around, and as we? ? he broth? ? ? ring suddenl? eps out ? he b? oom and ? es at me? h th? eally di? bing look in? eyes. We go? ough the secondary living room, and the ? her here suddenl? ops ? ing video games, and looks at me? h this ecstatic grin on his face. Not good. ? is not good? />
The main living roos al? s li? on, blindingly bright. The ? her I'm with suddenl? ops dragging me, and I a? t lose my balance. In this dream, I'? ill deaf, so I c? und? and a word of th? tremely rapid, e? ed conve? ion the fami? ? to be having. As on? hey sudd? stop and look at me. "Gotta go pee,say, and head ba? o the bedroom instea? here I c? find the books.? earc? ? here? them, and finally find one on a high pile of board games in the back co? of the room. I grab it, shove it in? he back of my sh? , and head o? o the living room. The l? s have gone out, and evee's quiet an? ming again.
It's time? bed, and we all troop o? o the back, ? yone's eyes burning at me. We reach the room where I? taying, ? e I ask my host ? t the plastic sheeting. ? hrugs an? rns the ligh? t, and I can remember fallin? ? . When I started to dream, I wok? ? st in th? eam bed, then the real bed.
Sort of anticlimactic, re? ? t...? ? d to? the atmosphere across. ? asn't a bad dream? st a slightly of? tting one.
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March 19, 2006
I haven't ? en much sleep la? . Th? ? ? ort of c? eve? ime I fall aslee? o I'? ying to avoi? ? the time being.? t night,? ent out with som? iend? taye? all night, came back he? o sh? and change my clothes, then headed out with them again. Trouble is,? I'm exh? ed. The thin? ? eami? hose? ? kind of like watching a single channel all day long. Something differen? ery half? r and al? kind of cheap. For example, one of them the other n? ? olved me and Kim, in a car, in a? king? , and me spending 20 min? finding? pace that was close ? ? tore and? handicapped. Basically me driving in circles, backin, backing out, ? ? avoidin? her ? , dealing with d? ive ? to Ricans, backing in some more, backing? because the lin? eren? traight, and fin? ? ing up a? arking in this huge ? ? like object ? ? t a shad? o complete my car was invisible in it. That'? . Th? the? ire dream. Then ? witc? ? hing like me and a bunch of ? le, some of whom? ecognized and some I didn't,? ting on ? arents' couch and watching f? ? rese? , then T? hile? ead a book from cover to? er.
O? ? ? hing? ? ant.? example, I drifted off for a few minute? a friend's ? e earlier this a? noon and? ? ? ng a? one of my former bo? ? ing with ano? woman in th? mall? een-painted ? e in the English? ? side, with a school bus pull? p in front. After the kids got off, the bus back? p and wound up hitti? his ? le kid, which meant the ? er came running into the? chen whe? e were a? alkiand asking my fo? ? s to call 911. He went back ? he bus, my boss ? ted ? ting it ? hile fiddling with an egg timer, then finally got on the phone. I we? p to the window faci? he f? , where the bus was, and? ? p watchi? his kid drip out of one of the wi? s an? art walking.? ? , wi? t warnin? he bus backe? again, and the kid disappeared. My ex-boss noticed and ran out, shouting, a? he kids were piling out the ? , which had pulled even with the kid's bloodstained shoe. I was the ? t person to notice, from? ide the ? ? hat the kid had somehow beenund up into the unde? riage and the on? art of h? hat was visible were the? ned-up c? of his jeans and black socks, d? ing blood. I? eame? wung to ? ? , found myself clamberin? the stairs of an empty bus, and hid underneath the ? s be? e something was ? ide,? ing to find me. My fd woke m? because, she said, I'd turn? he c? of old ? e soap.
O? ? ? hing? ? ant.? example, I drifted off for a few minute? a friend's ? e earlier this a? noon and? ? ? ng a? one of my former bo? ? ing with ano? woman in th? mall? een-painted ? e in the English? ? side, with a school bus pull? p in front. After the kids got off, the bus back? p and wound up hitti? his ? le kid, which meant the ? er came running into the? chen whe? e were a? alkiand asking my fo? ? s to call 911. He went back ? he bus, my boss ? ted ? ting it ? hile fiddling with an egg timer, then finally got on the phone. I we? p to the window faci? he f? , where the bus was, and? ? p watchi? his kid drip out of one of the wi? s an? art walking.? ? , wi? t warnin? he bus backe? again, and the kid disappeared. My ex-boss noticed and ran out, shouting, a? he kids were piling out the ? , which had pulled even with the kid's bloodstained shoe. I was the ? t person to notice, from? ide the ? ? hat the kid had somehow beenund up into the unde? riage and the on? art of h? hat was visible were the? ned-up c? of his jeans and black socks, d? ing blood. I? eame? wung to ? ? , found myself clamberin? the stairs of an empty bus, and hid underneath the ? s be? e something was ? ide,? ing to find me. My fd woke m? because, she said, I'd turn? he c? of old ? e soap.
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March 14, 2006
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Long dream.So I ? in ? arents' ? e on? urday, eating re? , re? greasy ? ? ? za. Somehow, the? this young ? ? ing in a tra? somewhere insid? ? ? ' living room, and h? peci? is ? ers made from fondant. Part ? he garden in front of he? aile? ? ually made o? gar, and looks like a patch of orchids. Kind of cool? ? hrug*. I? ? to ? oom and ? t smoking a join? ? ing air ? hene? diciously. My room is di? ent--the walls are cream, the cl? is now ? ? ? of the ? to the ? , and has these typical wood-slatted folding doors. My bed is sort of plain, and the walls a? ndec? ed. Also? ? art ? ? reviously-nonexistent second floor o? ? ? ' house.? er, I go? nstairs and run into someone who's my dad and yet...isn'? ? cooking up something in the? chen, an? ? melting som? ? on a glass ? e on the? ? , mixed with some herbs. As ? ? s cooking, h? ks me to add the? ter, which h? urned this n? ? anslucent ye? and looks like ? ing clear plastic. I grab another piece ? izza, which smears brigh? ange gre? he c? ertop, and head ? ? ? ano? joint.
A? I get high, I fall asleep a? ake up o? ? ? ning, re? ing ? my parents never showed up. The dre? ? s to upload a new ba? ory in my head, and I re? e th? he family has changed, and I? e a new moth? ype now, like some kind ? tepmom, and ? she's deaf and ? lightly...off. T? oom ? ? ? ansform, becoming this dark wood-paneled cha? ? h lots of beveled-glass windows. Right at th? ? , I wake up for real and realize tha? 's actually ? day,? Sunday, and tha? 's just ? eam and ? ythi? ok, I d? ? e to feel abandoned by my fa? ? br /? t then my mo? eal mom) sho? ? the door of the room and tells ? o ge? t in the? ing room? ? mom's here and she's wo? ing if I ever met her. So we head do? ? and the? this youngish, pudgy blond woman wearing a light-blue football helmet and matching tracksuit. So I signey..? are? ?" S? ? s bouncing on her heels and sayi? ? ? t fine b? e she goes o? taring at the walls. She? ? y young,? ually, a? ort ? all, so her pudg? n't ? pronounced,? she looks like the ? s between a 3-year-old Cabbage Patch Kid and the? ? ? ? school.
? the? he doorbell rings, and my mo? ? hes out ? ? oom to do something ? he back ? he house, leaving me to ? ? he door. I g? t to the? er, which ha? ansformed in? his chamber made? irely of glass, like a g? ? stal pse? od e? ded from the? se, and I can see th? he door ? on the ? nd directly ? een two ? ply-? ing ? s-covered hills ? ? round the foyer, so ? whe? he f? joi? he house, if someone? tanding on a hil? ? fee? ? eye? el. ? his moment, one ? on i? there--my grandpa Jim, and ? accompanied by my aunt Ellen, aunt ? Sue, an? o old men I've n? seen before. They climb? n the hi? o th? ont ? when th? e walking in? he f? ? />
I open the ? , letting them in, a? eali? his is a family get-toge? ? ? he f? al, and rush to the livi? oom to g? he c? s se? ? rel? es give my new mom a wide berth,? admire the trailer ? he living room and its garden. Then I'm ? rised, b? se a camera ? ? ? lize? t of? here? pare? the funeral and the? ? neral get-together are being filmed for a re? y show, per my new m? ? truction? t no? in the fami? ? old, so ? 're taken off balance an? tremely unhappy ? t this.
The last thing I reme? is my grandfather bending over ? aste onethe suga? chids in front of th? ailer.
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March 9, 2006
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? ch 4, 20h2>
? ? le="clear:both;">Coupl? ? ? t night, one of which I reme? ? t vividly if? chily.
First one ? ts o? ith ? alking down the street, ? ying a cardboard? full of something. ? he dream, I ? it's a bunch of small animals, and I g? o th? artment, I open ? p in my room. The animal? ? fol? ? />
1) 2 kittens, gray, white, and supe? ? />2) wh? esem? a four-inch-long fe? , also gray and ? ? />3) wh? ? to be a? r-inch-long slug? ? mammalian and c? ed in tan hair
4) an echidn? />5) looks like an echi? ? ? the spines and with a lot more ? h--mottled dark ? n and light tan
6) ? her ? -incher,? I c? remember what it looks like
? ay, I locked up animals 2, 3, and 6 in my clothing closet, kept the ? ens out with me, and? ck animals 4 and 5 i? ? cellaneous closet. Fell asle? ith the ? ens cuddling up to me, only ? ake ? ith them gone and a memory of going to a? shop an? oppi? hem off for some reason-? tering or something--except I don't reme? if I made it clear ? I'd be back? them so the? shop doesn't se? hem.
My m? in the ? t for so? eason, a? ? standin? tside the bathroom door with the? hroom light on, her hand up in a? ? his ? " ge? e. I don't know ? 's in the bathro? hat she needs to? n back, but I don't investigate. The? t few hours are spent dealing wi? he animals. ? t, I go ? he miscellan? clo whe? he echidna-but-not is no? e to be seen and the? ual echidna is just hanging out in a? ner. Then I ? o th? her ? et and check? the 4-inchers.
T? luglike one is just chilling in the middle of the cl? floor, wrigglin? ound, while the other 2 are fighting. I ? ly ecate the? ? he o? 's c? and? ? e them. ? fol? , I don't remember, exce? hat I'm trying n? o let them out of the cl? . The slugli? hing constantly ? s under the ? ? ? ating me to no end. Something happens, and I accidentall? ep on the little gray-and-white ? et, and it a? t dies, ? ? ing ? ? hat was my f? ite. The unknown animal then? ? to something and I have to deal? ? , on? o accidentally f? h the job on the? ret. God? cks.
Then? some reason, I'm back out in the middle of the room? ying to ? track of th? ? ing 4-in? s. The little tan slug/ferret has made it all the wa? t to the oth? ide of my bed an? ? t fi? here he is, whic? cool. Then the room suddenl? ansf? ? o a room? h bl? ? and pil? ith differen? uff, much like I'd expect to see at the ? er. The ? et holdi? he echidnae is now just a tall, dark red? al cabin? ith ? ll olive-greoor and ? ded ? he echidna-but-not. ? y to go ? the? o see if the echidna's ok, b? ? hing guarding the door d? ? elf up o? o feet, bare? s ve? ? teeth, and ? es at me, so? etreat. ? then, one o? ? mer ? es at the Ce? walks in, and I? lain that I came back be? e I ? ght I needed to fill? timesheet f? he last few ? ? orked and fo? ? edeemed vacation? s, b? emembered that I did that on my ? ? ? />
She? ugs and walk? ? o the metal cabinet, and? arn her ? t th? ardian, but it doesn? ? ch as hiss as she walks to it an? ? grabbing th? from the pile b? up against the wallthe cabinet. That's it.
T? econ? eam involved me, Kim, and Claud. Claud i? ying to get ? ouch? h some local fri? ? ? n't successful, and she'? ? ated. Finall? ? ays,? 's just ? o Wal-Mart, and Kim and I agree. Once we? k and ge? t of the? , Claud ? ? ? ? , and sa? ? ees her friends'? re. She's all, I can? t imagin? ? ? ing along an? mping in? hem! Sweet! A? hat was it.
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F? ary 24, 2006
I'm n? ? trong on the? ? ? t one of the? ? hings I reme? dreaming about ? nig? as being in a large stone castle. Real dark.? as in this large room wi? omeone else,? no discernible ? ce of illumination. ? as just ? ? t of general light. ? ay, ? as one of those wiza? due? here? h people? e to find the be? hape? h which to beat the other, a? he o? ho chang? ? sha? he fastest and cleve? wins. I remember becoming a bear and a snake, b? ? ying to become a tiger. The snake shape was coolest-? ? he bear to begin? h, a? hen I thought, "Snake," and I could feel the scales jabbing through ? kin and locking down over each o? and my ? ? ive ? ed so smoothl? ? tanding upright to being on the floor. A? ? tuff that had to? appear or reconf? e for th? ? s did so? ? even re? ering with me--one m? e, I? the bea? he next ? te, I was flowing along the floor.
For so? easo? ? ? ? as hard. I kept getting i? ong and coming out f? orange with? ? es, a large head, large limbs, a? iny ? , an? uff like that. It was more like the ? oon of a tig? han a real one, and I was getting ne? s. It was re? , re? ? strating, and the la? hing? emember ? hat dream was thinking f? ically a? what a tiger looks like, thinking "TIGER!" really hard, and? I h? o force myself into ? proper ? e to? vive, and then I beg? o change? t after ? point, I don't real? emember much? />
The onl? her thing I reme? ? near the end. It was morning, and I had? t woken up, but decided to fall back asleep. When I did, I found? elf in a? ern lit up i? rple and? e and teal or wh? er, and I wa? anding in the middle of a large circle of da? eal sand? h a staff made from some? k wood. Strange,? ee-dimension? hapes kept formi? ? elve? t of the sander and ? nd my feet, like things tryi? ? eak out. And I'm? ing the staf? ? ? hape? hich look like half-moons sometimes, points-up, or h? ? ? ? mps) and the sand's followin? ? ses.
But ? 's a? it.? hing much interesting happen? hile? ? tanding ? ? and circle, ? ? ? okin? t and me? hingback.
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Feb? y 15, 2006
? ? le="clear:both;">So I'm on? pace? ? />
It hone? doe? look that...spacey. Sometimes it looks like my ? tmen? ? ? like a park. An? , I'm walking along a corridor (with gray shag carpeting) wi? his othe? y. He's ? ? height, black f? y hair, ruddy skkind of skinny, and ? , very....shall ? ay, earnest. He'? guing with me about somethin? t I'm ba? ? tening.
Actually, it's kind of weird.? ough that part of th? eam,? as having th? ensation of ? inuous falling. Like, face-forward. So obvio? , I was a little? tracted. He finally woun? ? argument right when thi? nny ? h of lig? ent off in f? of my eyes and I sort of sh? ed. He looke? me oddly and said, "Are? okay?"
"Yes," I said slowly. "I'm fine. Thank you." Then I a? tly turned o? heel and walked away.
For some reason, I c? bring myself to kill the thing. It's this big, disgusting insect, but I? ? and ? e, a? bed ? ? atterns ? he b? shell.
Suddenly, I feel someone grab my ? ? ? ? and spin me around. In front of me are all the ? that were outside killi? he bugs, and they're all as ? rise? I am. The g? ho grabbed my shoulder is the same guy I? walking? h earlier, e? t he's even more? shed and? ? king. He points at me and says, "He's a shell-parasite."
? his poin? he dream-knowledge gets a little weird. ? referri? o me as a person and as a ship; the difference betwe? he "shell" of th? man psyche a? he o? shell of a ? . Which is most intimately i? penele? Which level gives you control?
So I'm thinking about all ? hat. I'm looking around at e? one ? e with me, and I? ? slightly when I realize tha? isn? eal--I'm dreaming. A? he i? ent ? radiction in my frie? acc? ion ? n't ? t. I'm a ship. An in? ed one. Somehow alsouman one? />
The dre? uddenly becomes real? eird and, like, n-dimensional. Right afte? ? s in? his cubist fantasy, I wa? p.
Da? ou, Anne McC? ey.
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F? ary 12, 2006
So ? ? s off with a much la? ? sion of my a? ? . I'm smoking a ciga? ? t on the? ch, leaning ? ? ailing, when suddenly one of my ? le brothers ? ? there a? ? ? citedly ? the social work? ? e to look th? over fo? r younge? ibling. I flick the ? and head inside, determined to make? ? stash of weed is safe from the jaundiced scrutif the social? ker, when I notice him coming in. He's a? I know well? t behind him are a couple of? s. I qui? skirt my wa? ound the group and make for my bedroom, ? e the po? hidden in a? tle hole in the wall in my closet.
Th? are ok, I c? sme? ? eed, and it's ti? ? . So I get d? ed a? alk out of my bedroom door, ? to end up in this club plac? here I have to make a jo? o those specific 2 g? to wind some kind of co? ition. I find them, with their mom i? licably accompanying them, and one of them h? up a knit blanket a? ays,? ssies were made for sleeping," a? ? hree of them? ed off. I immediately think ? hat ? ay a? the sho? ? off, so? e to? erce? hem again ne? he back ? ? oom, whe? here are? s people. I ? p to them while their mo? off to the side? y to whi? it ? hat the mom ? n't ? what I say: "No? ussi? ere made? ? nding!"
Suddenly,? e wo? he four ? ? ? anding outside on a ? form, waiting for a ? ? heel to ? , and I have to make 100? e jokes ? he end of the night. I immediately dismi? his ? e climb on, and the girl? t to me becomes ? emely ne? s. I ask what the deal is, and her mothe? itting a? ? om me, explains ? she's n? been on one of ? e th? before. Ahh, ok. The Fe? wheel is od? he only ? of ? hat's visibl? the? we're in. Nothing else can ? een ? ? heel? elf, except for the way the huge pin? ees ? ounding us move ? he i? ible? uts and ? ? ? ast them. The place itself is a large, dim f? ? ith some? ses and a golf c? e visible.
The girl next to m? ? ting? e and more nervous, so I? to ? ? ? by saying, ? , look at th? ees." She looks up, and imme? ely the whee? ? to swee? up and out, and we'? itting in mi? abo? ? ? ops. Suddenl? ithout a? arning, the car turn? ? n, and I think o? his is normal, I? e the girl l? ? ough it. Unf? nately, the large, bright pink bag a? ? tuff she had in it g? illing out of her seat and fall ? to the trees. She gets real? issed an? ansf? ? o Kelly. To calm? ? n, I? , "Look,? t ma? here it fell and onc? ? ime to get off, you can go look for ? ? ff, ok?"
Illogically, we'? uddenly down in ? ? gh area, and Kelly and I are? in separate? s. The action of the? ris wheel seems to have changed to become more like one ? hose twirly swin? ? ee at fairs or carni? or ? ? . I swing in? lace over a l railing, not far from ? e Kelly'? uff fell, an? ist ? ? o see behind me. Kel? ndoi? he locking mechanism of the car and ? ing out, stalking off in? ? ? , looking re? , like, mad.
? rn back ? nd a? uddenly realize ? I have a thick ? her strap in my hand? hich is attached to a hot-air balloon th? ? h a few hundred ? away and right ? e me. I can use ? balloon to ? ? ound the? k, and immediate? ? to ? o. I? aking giant kangaroo leaps over the tree? , lookin? ound at the park, when I come down a? uddenly run into DC, one of my former bo? at the ? er. She ? ? ? get, dinner ? ts at 7:30. You don't wanna be late, it'll be packed!" I check my watch, whi? ays 7:05, and shrug it off, taking off again? h the balloon.
I land and am walking ? his long sidewalk in this large open spa? urroundi? win berms, on th? ? of whic? ? sidewalk and another one. There's lots of g? , some build? off to the sides, a? uite a f? traight ahead where the sidewalk? ns back onto the other berm. Night i? awin? ace, and I'm? t walking along, looking around ? he build? , and see a few ? le I recognize here and ? e. I? n th? and walk parall? o th? ildi? all to my left, then? n right again and I'm going down the other berm, only to decide ? lay with the balloon some more. ? ? ? ? and off I zoom. I'm ? ing along, my bo? arallel ? he groun? ound eight feet up, when I nearly blitz DC again. Th? ime, she's d? ed a? ? ? dinner.
? his point, I decide, ok,? be it's time to go back and get ready to? . So? low down and sto? ouching down on the sidewalk, on? ? mp into Eddi? iffin. The comedian.? ell him ? I'm up to, and he o? s to join. We're talking all the? back to my ? ? ilding, and ? hinks I'm, like, damn cool or something ? id like ? . I laugh and look around. We're in ? ? t of? rtyard of light-? ? ccoe? ildings, and I c? ee a? ch on the second story of th? ilding i? ont of m? ith an open area leading to a screen door and the screened-in part oe porch.
So I tug the balloon? aps again, f? ? endi? o fl? there, ? to get ? range feeling through th? rap, like the balloon ha? ? uddenly hit a ceiling fan.
So? ake up, and the ? t thing I se? the ceiling fan in ? oom. Heh.
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Feb? y 4, 2006
/>So I leave, hop in the elevato? ime seems to spe? p, I? uddenly naked, and it lets m? t on the right f? . I walk? n the hall, noti? ? owel I'd dropped? ? ? ap i? ound? elf, and realize that I'd left my key to the room in the shorts ? are? ? ly in the wa? ? , shit. ? ? ely, I c? ? hat ost has ? the doo? ? lightly, so I walk in. S? in her bed,? ching TV, and th? ? ays, "Wh? he hell took? so long?!" So I? lain what happened, and she rolls he? es a? ays,? ? ts."
And then it was 9:30 a.m.
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? ? 1, 2006
Which ? o say that if I ? ? e ch? en, I would prob? rai? hem as Unitarians. G? ed, much of thei? ? ? sma? ather unplea? ly of chthonism,? I like their "many paths to the? th" phil? hy a? ? yen? syn? is.
Remember ? ? claimed to be atheistic; I ? trictly agnostic? h a stro? piritual ben? tih a few em? assing moments of backsliding in? he C? tian tradition in which I was raised? />
An? , th? ? of drea? as 2 and? ? he number of dreams which was 2.
? ? ed o? ith me dreaming ? ? sh a? ome young la? alking in a dark pla? o each o? , di? sing this new "WMD" ? she had? ? ed of unparallel? ? and? truction. Th? ere ? ting it up, until she sa? hat she had two ? hose bom? ? p on? h banks ? he Potomac a? he'd? ? e them at his sl? est wish. He said something like, "J? , that'd be grea? t now's not the time....can you ? ?" "Uh, sure? ? ort ? aid, and? ake ? o fi? his article in my bed about Bush and? ? lad? iend. So I'm? walking the neighborhood with my fa? and I'm? ing ? ell them abo? his stuf? t the fa? hat I sa? in ? eam means th? hey ? ? shin? off and making me feel ? id.
So I get ? ed a? hen ? decide to go down a roa? right angles to the one we're on, I decline to join them an? ? alk ahead, i? ing them being extre? angry. I ke? alki? ntil I come ? he next ? ? ? , and see all three ? hem walking down tha? ? , carryi? late? ll of food: steak wi? team? eggies and a? tle cup of corn. They offer ? ome but ? st keep walking, ang? and ang? . Finally, behind me, I ? my dad say, "Whoa, when? aid 'ste? ? elf,' I didn't mean it l? ? ." I? ? ound and see that all the food o? family's pl? ? ? ozen solid, and my d? ? ing to extricate? ? ? ? he cup o? ozen? n, but it refuses to come off. I know th? his is a? ult of my anger, so ? rn around and ke? alking, until I ? ? umbling sound and th? rink? embedded in the? n ne? o me suddenl? plode in sho? of rapidly-freezing? er, ? lting in beautif? ? tures of ice, a lá Rose Red.
? and ? e, fascinate? the? ? of my o? age and ? ing ? it's a one-in-a-lifetime chance to see ? ? pening, because I can already feel my anger goin? t of me, so I go over and rejoin my family b? ? rnin? ound and running? o a lawn that sl? deeply downhill awa? ? ? oad. The? ? ? ered in water and then ice, and I wi? p slipping a? liding o? feet all the way do? he hill ? he botto? here there are a ton of forgotten shoes ? are almost as big a? head.
Then I suddenly wo? p inexplicably 22 minutes before my ? m wa? ? ? o go off? oaned, a? olle? er, ? to find? elf in another dream. In this one, I? in a school lib? , working with 3 kids who we? upposed to be child prodigies. One girl, two? he girl's a musical genius, the older boy's math? ical, and the 5-? -old? ? ome kind of inventing ge? . He? ? around ? con? tion mad? ? inkly-glowin? bes ? bulge in odd pl? and are? ped at both ? by blocks of wood. Some kind of awa? inni? cientific ac? ement. H? arted talking about ? speech ? ? t he had once who would ? e unimaginab? hen he m? ? nced? ord and talked i? ? ly on her ce? hone? ing a ton of min? ? month.
Anywa? e were a? upposed to fill out 2 forms, one on ? e paper and one on a qua? -sheet o? ange? er. I peeked at the older boy's paper, and n? hat he called himself "Indian Joe," which so? familia? t I can'? ite plac? . Th? uddenly,? as on th? s with Colin Mochrie, the youngest boy, and his ? ? ion. The? stopped and the? ? off, and I could see his mo? anding on the porch of his house, and she called something out. n yelled back, explaining about the spee? hera? , and I could he? his clicking and clacking. I knew somehow th? he k? ? riting on a chalkboard on the side of th? ? roviding? ? lation f? hat Colin was talking about. He was ? ing really fast, judging from the speed of thacki? ounds I was ? ing, so I go? and went to the front of th? s, fixing to? off and read what he ha? itten about the ? h of Col? ? ds, but ? oon as my foot landed on the? ? tep, my ? m went off.
Godda? .
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? ary 31, 2006
So ? nig? as b? a field trip with a bunch o? her ? ? o th? trange, dynamic place...? as like a big shopping mall, a m? m, and a? 's mansion all in one.
Which had somehow melded? o a room adjoini? his guy's very large? ing roome floor and wall? hile? aight, met at a ? e, making me feel like I? in some? ge c? al. ? as more or less ? e an? sty rose, wi? ine wood acc? on the walls and pi? ood molding ? he ceiling. ? as kind of i? esting, and the guy who owned the house was ? ? t of creepy ? erious middle-aged g? ho a? s seemed to be a? to say somethin? t never did. He did,? ? , allow ? ? ? e the rest of the house.
I walked all over the place, seeing large plaster columns and lots of white and ? y-rose c? ? ? here. Before long, I enc? ered? ano? ? ing room? t this one, ? ead of having on? wo entra? /exits, had a few doors in it. So I ? to the one ? he f? ide ? ? all, whi? as actually a pair o? ench doo? ith blinds behind the glass, and somethi? ithi? self said, "You can't go there." So I moved ? he door ? he left side of the french d? , which was slig? ajar.
The room behin? ? ano? bedroom (I had seen a master in my ? els througho? he house, very immac? e and untouched)? t this one looked sl? ly m? ? ? almost like a kids' room, but also ? y and fo? ten. As ? rned to go o? he door, the light caught a strand o? ? web angling from cei to floor wi? ome ? ? ght on it. My immediate ? ght was ? the? didn't ? in the ? er bedroom--the french d? led to his office and he would work all night a? pend the night in th? oom.? it didn? eem to fit him.
So I ? the room and on the? ectl? posi? all,? aw a pair of? kly-varnished pine closet doors.? ? , I ? in ? e, only to find ? the doors encom? ed a? her large walk-in cl? that actually extended ? ? he corner ne? o the doors, creating a larg? uare-shaped chamber with? mall? ? e taken out of a? ner. I f? ? he l? on and ? ed--? e were tons of games and ? ! I was like? hoa. That room I? ? t visiting must have been his kid's. Something must have? pened to him to make thi? y th? ay. I heard something behind me and saw the guy acro? ? oom, standing in front of th? ench doo? ith the ? p of kids I had come to the mall? h.
Th? ? ? ing, almost ? ing,? o a mall food court with? ort of open Sam Goody's ? e th? ench doo? ere. The other kids had been standing on? e ca? ? t within sec? , th? ere standing among D? ? and sales c? ers, and cha? ing ? t whethe? ? they should? a new movie. The sales counter was ? of food? rt, and ? ? e selling sandwi? ? h vegeta? on the side, with mint-filled g? Valenti? ? ? ? 's Kisse? acke? on the counter.? urned back, and saw ? the closet had already shifted into? ? tore, so? urne? ound and joined the ? p of people.
? ister was in amo? hem, so I he over to talk to? and see? she'd been doing. Then sudd? , the adult ? erone of the gro? aid ? ? ime to move along, and it was Sarah, my supe? or. I di? see? thing odd about ? , though, so we finished? ting lunch a? hen moved to the exit of the food court, which had been shif again and now looked like a? eum lobby, complete with? ? ose wall? ? illars, and pink? ble floor veined? h gold. Sarah ma? ure ? ere all ? ? hen led us outside onto the bus, where my si? went to? ? h someone else and I? by myself, ? to have? ah join me. ? e le? ? arking lot, she was ing ? t how she had seen a dinner cruise a? tise? the mal? seum/mansion, and wished we had had time to take it.
So I said, "Well, wait. The guy who owned the place offered ? ake us all out on his boat for a ride to? tillo de San? co--? only a few ? tes from? ? adenton.? don? e do that?" Whic? kind of odd because San? co is actual? p on the? thea? n coast, in St. ? stine. She looked thoughtful, th? he last ? I had of th? art was ? he bus idling sl? up a ge? ? ving on-? to an elevated interstate.
Then the scene ab? ? ? ed back ? he food ? t/DV? ore, whe? he narrator said something a? "Charlie and the Chocolate ? ory," like it was the movie I was watching. ? y Kim...don't take anything ? his, it ? cropped up ? ? ail end.? way,? ? he c? a and I reme? starting with a high view of the place and then slowly ? ping and? ing ? ard ? thi? y I reco? ed from my high scho? tanding ? to ? her guy saying, "Don? ? ? de, I won't cheat you li? our other de? did? rying to convince him to? ? from him.
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posted by Hugh VanDerG? ? p; # 1:45 PM? p;0 Comments
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January 25, 2006
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So last night's dream was a bit odd.? t of like a dream nestle ano? dream.
I? ? off? h me goi? o this dinne? ? hing in a very f? ? el i? ring Hill. I know..."fancy hotel" and "Spring Hill" don't go together. But in this case, it did.? s of? k wo? aneling and stuff. S? 's half ? and half girls, and Eri? ? here. We? together an? arted talking a lot along wi? his other girl. After di? , we all wen? t to the lobby of the dining room, and Erica suddenly says, ? , let's take? ? re!" So I say, "Sure, where?" And she says, ? ? tead!" Uhm, ok. ? e walk o? he f? door, and it's ? y and ic? tside, and Erica? ? est when she shobe heading east. She? eari? his ? of ? do-Renaissance gown in dark green with o? foo foo? ff o? , and I say, "Hey, Erica? ringstead's the other way...?"
"Yeah," she says, ? I also ? a backdrop ? hose white m? ? ."
? ile in, and take off, on? o ha? he gunmen pile in a van and take off? ? s. We're driving? ough thert o? ring Hil? ? spe? hen ? ister hits a speed bump, which forcibly ejects m? ? he c? ? ? ? indow, and I win? flippin? er in mi? and landing on the roof rack of the van behind us. The van ? ? ? erve? ying to throw me off, and on? ntil it ? a complete 360-? ? urn and slam? self? o a telee pole does ? ucceed. ? ? ely, my ? er doubles back and catches me on the roof o? own? , and I grab ahold of the rack on top.
She careen? ound a corner an? end of one side of the rack comes loose, forcing me to hold on ? ? ely to i? winging ? e. Final? he o? end of it lets go, and I'm back at Wendy's under th? ning, where the guy ? accompanied us has appa? ly just checked the Inte? and? s that I am ? ? op 10 Gentlemen ? he dinner. I find this odd as I was bare? here at all,? I go ba? p th? ? and back do? ? ath ? lea? o the snow-c? ? oad, and? dge ? ack ? he hotel, where I check a co? er a? ? hat indeed, my name ? p there. Only thing is, ? ? my name. In the dream, ? is, it is
So? oke ? ather co? ed....
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 1:44 PM 0 Com? ? pan> ? pan ? s="item-? rol blog-adm? id-241070731">
I'm n? ? trong on the? ? ? t one of the? ? hings I reme? dreaming about ? nig? as being in a large stone castle. Real dark.? as in this large room wi? omeone else,? no discernible ? ce of illumination. ? as just ? ? t of general light. ? ay, ? as one of those wiza? due? here? h people? e to find the be? hape? h which to beat the other, a? he o? ho chang? ? sha? he fastest and cleve? wins. I remember becoming a bear and a snake, b? ? ying to become a tiger. The snake shape was coolest-? ? he bear to begin? h, a? hen I thought, "Snake," and I could feel the scales jabbing through ? kin and locking down over each o? and my ? ? ive ? ed so smoothl? ? tanding upright to being on the floor. A? ? tuff that had to? appear or reconf? e for th? ? s did so? ? even re? ering with me--one m? e, I? the bea? he next ? te, I was flowing along the floor.
For so? easo? ? ? ? as hard. I kept getting i? ong and coming out f? orange with? ? es, a large head, large limbs, a? iny ? , an? uff like that. It was more like the ? oon of a tig? han a real one, and I was getting ne? s. It was re? , re? ? strating, and the la? hing? emember ? hat dream was thinking f? ically a? what a tiger looks like, thinking "TIGER!" really hard, and? I h? o force myself into ? proper ? e to? vive, and then I beg? o change? t after ? point, I don't real? emember much? />
The onl? her thing I reme? ? near the end. It was morning, and I had? t woken up, but decided to fall back asleep. When I did, I found? elf in a? ern lit up i? rple and? e and teal or wh? er, and I wa? anding in the middle of a large circle of da? eal sand? h a staff made from some? k wood. Strange,? ee-dimension? hapes kept formi? ? elve? t of the sander and ? nd my feet, like things tryi? ? eak out. And I'm? ing the staf? ? ? hape? hich look like half-moons sometimes, points-up, or h? ? ? ? mps) and the sand's followin? ? ses.
But ? 's a? it.? hing much interesting happen? hile? ? tanding ? ? and circle, ? ? ? okin? t and me? hingback.
Th? are ok, I c? sme? ? eed, and it's ti? ? . So I get d? ed a? alk out of my bedroom door, ? to end up in this club plac? here I have to make a jo? o those specific 2 g? to wind some kind of co? ition. I find them, with their mom i? licably accompanying them, and one of them h? up a knit blanket a? ays,? ssies were made for sleeping," a? ? hree of them? ed off. I immediately think ? hat ? ay a? the sho? ? off, so? e to? erce? hem again ne? he back ? ? oom, whe? here are? s people. I ? p to them while their mo? off to the side? y to whi? it ? hat the mom ? n't ? what I say: "No? ussi? ere made? ? nding!"
Suddenly,? e wo? he four ? ? ? anding outside on a ? form, waiting for a ? ? heel to ? , and I have to make 100? e jokes ? he end of the night. I immediately dismi? his ? e climb on, and the girl? t to me becomes ? emely ne? s. I ask what the deal is, and her mothe? itting a? ? om me, explains ? she's n? been on one of ? e th? before. Ahh, ok. The Fe? wheel is od? he only ? of ? hat's visibl? the? we're in. Nothing else can ? een ? ? heel? elf, except for the way the huge pin? ees ? ounding us move ? he i? ible? uts and ? ? ? ast them. The place itself is a large, dim f? ? ith some? ses and a golf c? e visible.
The girl next to m? ? ting? e and more nervous, so I? to ? ? ? by saying, ? , look at th? ees." She looks up, and imme? ely the whee? ? to swee? up and out, and we'? itting in mi? abo? ? ? ops. Suddenl? ithout a? arning, the car turn? ? n, and I think o? his is normal, I? e the girl l? ? ough it. Unf? nately, the large, bright pink bag a? ? tuff she had in it g? illing out of her seat and fall ? to the trees. She gets real? issed an? ansf? ? o Kelly. To calm? ? n, I? , "Look,? t ma? here it fell and onc? ? ime to get off, you can go look for ? ? ff, ok?"
Illogically, we'? uddenly down in ? ? gh area, and Kelly and I are? in separate? s. The action of the? ris wheel seems to have changed to become more like one ? hose twirly swin? ? ee at fairs or carni? or ? ? . I swing in? lace over a l railing, not far from ? e Kelly'? uff fell, an? ist ? ? o see behind me. Kel? ndoi? he locking mechanism of the car and ? ing out, stalking off in? ? ? , looking re? , like, mad.
? rn back ? nd a? uddenly realize ? I have a thick ? her strap in my hand? hich is attached to a hot-air balloon th? ? h a few hundred ? away and right ? e me. I can use ? balloon to ? ? ound the? k, and immediate? ? to ? o. I? aking giant kangaroo leaps over the tree? , lookin? ound at the park, when I come down a? uddenly run into DC, one of my former bo? at the ? er. She ? ? ? get, dinner ? ts at 7:30. You don't wanna be late, it'll be packed!" I check my watch, whi? ays 7:05, and shrug it off, taking off again? h the balloon.
I land and am walking ? his long sidewalk in this large open spa? urroundi? win berms, on th? ? of whic? ? sidewalk and another one. There's lots of g? , some build? off to the sides, a? uite a f? traight ahead where the sidewalk? ns back onto the other berm. Night i? awin? ace, and I'm? t walking along, looking around ? he build? , and see a few ? le I recognize here and ? e. I? n th? and walk parall? o th? ildi? all to my left, then? n right again and I'm going down the other berm, only to decide ? lay with the balloon some more. ? ? ? ? and off I zoom. I'm ? ing along, my bo? arallel ? he groun? ound eight feet up, when I nearly blitz DC again. Th? ime, she's d? ed a? ? ? dinner.
? his point, I decide, ok,? be it's time to go back and get ready to? . So? low down and sto? ouching down on the sidewalk, on? ? mp into Eddi? iffin. The comedian.? ell him ? I'm up to, and he o? s to join. We're talking all the? back to my ? ? ilding, and ? hinks I'm, like, damn cool or something ? id like ? . I laugh and look around. We're in ? ? t of? rtyard of light-? ? ccoe? ildings, and I c? ee a? ch on the second story of th? ilding i? ont of m? ith an open area leading to a screen door and the screened-in part oe porch.
So I tug the balloon? aps again, f? ? endi? o fl? there, ? to get ? range feeling through th? rap, like the balloon ha? ? uddenly hit a ceiling fan.
So? ake up, and the ? t thing I se? the ceiling fan in ? oom. Heh.
And then it was 9:30 a.m.
? ? 1, 2006
Which ? o say that if I ? ? e ch? en, I would prob? rai? hem as Unitarians. G? ed, much of thei? ? ? sma? ather unplea? ly of chthonism,? I like their "many paths to the? th" phil? hy a? ? yen? syn? is.
Remember ? ? claimed to be atheistic; I ? trictly agnostic? h a stro? piritual ben? tih a few em? assing moments of backsliding in? he C? tian tradition in which I was raised? />
An? , th? ? of drea? as 2 and? ? he number of dreams which was 2.
? ? ed o? ith me dreaming ? ? sh a? ome young la? alking in a dark pla? o each o? , di? sing this new "WMD" ? she had? ? ed of unparallel? ? and? truction. Th? ere ? ting it up, until she sa? hat she had two ? hose bom? ? p on? h banks ? he Potomac a? he'd? ? e them at his sl? est wish. He said something like, "J? , that'd be grea? t now's not the time....can you ? ?" "Uh, sure? ? ort ? aid, and? ake ? o fi? his article in my bed about Bush and? ? lad? iend. So I'm? walking the neighborhood with my fa? and I'm? ing ? ell them abo? his stuf? t the fa? hat I sa? in ? eam means th? hey ? ? shin? off and making me feel ? id.
So I get ? ed a? hen ? decide to go down a roa? right angles to the one we're on, I decline to join them an? ? alk ahead, i? ing them being extre? angry. I ke? alki? ntil I come ? he next ? ? ? , and see all three ? hem walking down tha? ? , carryi? late? ll of food: steak wi? team? eggies and a? tle cup of corn. They offer ? ome but ? st keep walking, ang? and ang? . Finally, behind me, I ? my dad say, "Whoa, when? aid 'ste? ? elf,' I didn't mean it l? ? ." I? ? ound and see that all the food o? family's pl? ? ? ozen solid, and my d? ? ing to extricate? ? ? ? he cup o? ozen? n, but it refuses to come off. I know th? his is a? ult of my anger, so ? rn around and ke? alking, until I ? ? umbling sound and th? rink? embedded in the? n ne? o me suddenl? plode in sho? of rapidly-freezing? er, ? lting in beautif? ? tures of ice, a lá Rose Red.
? and ? e, fascinate? the? ? of my o? age and ? ing ? it's a one-in-a-lifetime chance to see ? ? pening, because I can already feel my anger goin? t of me, so I go over and rejoin my family b? ? rnin? ound and running? o a lawn that sl? deeply downhill awa? ? ? oad. The? ? ? ered in water and then ice, and I wi? p slipping a? liding o? feet all the way do? he hill ? he botto? here there are a ton of forgotten shoes ? are almost as big a? head.
Then I suddenly wo? p inexplicably 22 minutes before my ? m wa? ? ? o go off? oaned, a? olle? er, ? to find? elf in another dream. In this one, I? in a school lib? , working with 3 kids who we? upposed to be child prodigies. One girl, two? he girl's a musical genius, the older boy's math? ical, and the 5-? -old? ? ome kind of inventing ge? . He? ? around ? con? tion mad? ? inkly-glowin? bes ? bulge in odd pl? and are? ped at both ? by blocks of wood. Some kind of awa? inni? cientific ac? ement. H? arted talking about ? speech ? ? t he had once who would ? e unimaginab? hen he m? ? nced? ord and talked i? ? ly on her ce? hone? ing a ton of min? ? month.
Anywa? e were a? upposed to fill out 2 forms, one on ? e paper and one on a qua? -sheet o? ange? er. I peeked at the older boy's paper, and n? hat he called himself "Indian Joe," which so? familia? t I can'? ite plac? . Th? uddenly,? as on th? s with Colin Mochrie, the youngest boy, and his ? ? ion. The? stopped and the? ? off, and I could see his mo? anding on the porch of his house, and she called something out. n yelled back, explaining about the spee? hera? , and I could he? his clicking and clacking. I knew somehow th? he k? ? riting on a chalkboard on the side of th? ? roviding? ? lation f? hat Colin was talking about. He was ? ing really fast, judging from the speed of thacki? ounds I was ? ing, so I go? and went to the front of th? s, fixing to? off and read what he ha? itten about the ? h of Col? ? ds, but ? oon as my foot landed on the? ? tep, my ? m went off.
Godda? .
1:48 PM
? ary 31, 2006
Which had somehow melded? o a room adjoini? his guy's very large? ing roome floor and wall? hile? aight, met at a ? e, making me feel like I? in some? ge c? al. ? as more or less ? e an? sty rose, wi? ine wood acc? on the walls and pi? ood molding ? he ceiling. ? as kind of i? esting, and the guy who owned the house was ? ? t of creepy ? erious middle-aged g? ho a? s seemed to be a? to say somethin? t never did. He did,? ? , allow ? ? ? e the rest of the house.
I walked all over the place, seeing large plaster columns and lots of white and ? y-rose c? ? ? here. Before long, I enc? ered? ano? ? ing room? t this one, ? ead of having on? wo entra? /exits, had a few doors in it. So I ? to the one ? he f? ide ? ? all, whi? as actually a pair o? ench doo? ith blinds behind the glass, and somethi? ithi? self said, "You can't go there." So I moved ? he door ? he left side of the french d? , which was slig? ajar.
The room behin? ? ano? bedroom (I had seen a master in my ? els througho? he house, very immac? e and untouched)? t this one looked sl? ly m? ? ? almost like a kids' room, but also ? y and fo? ten. As ? rned to go o? he door, the light caught a strand o? ? web angling from cei to floor wi? ome ? ? ght on it. My immediate ? ght was ? the? didn't ? in the ? er bedroom--the french d? led to his office and he would work all night a? pend the night in th? oom.? it didn? eem to fit him.
So I ? the room and on the? ectl? posi? all,? aw a pair of? kly-varnished pine closet doors.? ? , I ? in ? e, only to find ? the doors encom? ed a? her large walk-in cl? that actually extended ? ? he corner ne? o the doors, creating a larg? uare-shaped chamber with? mall? ? e taken out of a? ner. I f? ? he l? on and ? ed--? e were tons of games and ? ! I was like? hoa. That room I? ? t visiting must have been his kid's. Something must have? pened to him to make thi? y th? ay. I heard something behind me and saw the guy acro? ? oom, standing in front of th? ench doo? ith the ? p of kids I had come to the mall? h.
Th? ? ? ing, almost ? ing,? o a mall food court with? ort of open Sam Goody's ? e th? ench doo? ere. The other kids had been standing on? e ca? ? t within sec? , th? ere standing among D? ? and sales c? ers, and cha? ing ? t whethe? ? they should? a new movie. The sales counter was ? of food? rt, and ? ? e selling sandwi? ? h vegeta? on the side, with mint-filled g? Valenti? ? ? ? 's Kisse? acke? on the counter.? urned back, and saw ? the closet had already shifted into? ? tore, so? urne? ound and joined the ? p of people.
? ister was in amo? hem, so I he over to talk to? and see? she'd been doing. Then sudd? , the adult ? erone of the gro? aid ? ? ime to move along, and it was Sarah, my supe? or. I di? see? thing odd about ? , though, so we finished? ting lunch a? hen moved to the exit of the food court, which had been shif again and now looked like a? eum lobby, complete with? ? ose wall? ? illars, and pink? ble floor veined? h gold. Sarah ma? ure ? ere all ? ? hen led us outside onto the bus, where my si? went to? ? h someone else and I? by myself, ? to have? ah join me. ? e le? ? arking lot, she was ing ? t how she had seen a dinner cruise a? tise? the mal? seum/mansion, and wished we had had time to take it.
So I said, "Well, wait. The guy who owned the place offered ? ake us all out on his boat for a ride to? tillo de San? co--? only a few ? tes from? ? adenton.? don? e do that?" Whic? kind of odd because San? co is actual? p on the? thea? n coast, in St. ? stine. She looked thoughtful, th? he last ? I had of th? art was ? he bus idling sl? up a ge? ? ving on-? to an elevated interstate.
Then the scene ab? ? ? ed back ? he food ? t/DV? ore, whe? he narrator said something a? "Charlie and the Chocolate ? ory," like it was the movie I was watching. ? y Kim...don't take anything ? his, it ? cropped up ? ? ail end.? way,? ? he c? a and I reme? starting with a high view of the place and then slowly ? ping and? ing ? ard ? thi? y I reco? ed from my high scho? tanding ? to ? her guy saying, "Don? ? ? de, I won't cheat you li? our other de? did? rying to convince him to? ? from him.
Dammit.? ? le="clear:both; padding-? om:0.25em">
posted by Hugh VanDerG? ? p; # 1:45 PM? p;0 Comments
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January 25, 2006
? class="blog? ">I? ? off? h me goi? o this dinne? ? hing in a very f? ? el i? ring Hill. I know..."fancy hotel" and "Spring Hill" don't go together. But in this case, it did.? s of? k wo? aneling and stuff. S? 's half ? and half girls, and Eri? ? here. We? together an? arted talking a lot along wi? his other girl. After di? , we all wen? t to the lobby of the dining room, and Erica suddenly says, ? , let's take? ? re!" So I say, "Sure, where?" And she says, ? ? tead!" Uhm, ok. ? e walk o? he f? door, and it's ? y and ic? tside, and Erica? ? est when she shobe heading east. She? eari? his ? of ? do-Renaissance gown in dark green with o? foo foo? ff o? , and I say, "Hey, Erica? ringstead's the other way...?"
"Yeah," she says, ? I also ? a backdrop ? hose white m? ? ."
? ile in, and take off, on? o ha? he gunmen pile in a van and take off? ? s. We're driving? ough thert o? ring Hil? ? spe? hen ? ister hits a speed bump, which forcibly ejects m? ? he c? ? ? ? indow, and I win? flippin? er in mi? and landing on the roof rack of the van behind us. The van ? ? ? erve? ying to throw me off, and on? ntil it ? a complete 360-? ? urn and slam? self? o a telee pole does ? ucceed. ? ? ely, my ? er doubles back and catches me on the roof o? own? , and I grab ahold of the rack on top.
She careen? ound a corner an? end of one side of the rack comes loose, forcing me to hold on ? ? ely to i? winging ? e. Final? he o? end of it lets go, and I'm back at Wendy's under th? ning, where the guy ? accompanied us has appa? ly just checked the Inte? and? s that I am ? ? op 10 Gentlemen ? he dinner. I find this odd as I was bare? here at all,? I go ba? p th? ? and back do? ? ath ? lea? o the snow-c? ? oad, and? dge ? ack ? he hotel, where I check a co? er a? ? hat indeed, my name ? p there. Only thing is, ? ? my name. In the dream, ? is, it is
So? oke ? ather co? ed....
Jan? 23, 2006
Last n? 's dream centere? ound? . I was ? ork,? hough the setup was much? ch diffe? ? ? ? ually a bunch of? ks and cubic? ? , all shoved together in? tran? attern. I had somehow ac? ? ? he n? before, a big 1/4 oz. bag o? , and for so? eason ha? ough? to work? />
It was the early part of the day, a good half-hour before anyon? ually showed up, so ? arted to roll a joint in preparation? a "ciga? e" break. I was ? about done with it when I got a? ? ? ise: a c? ker had ? ? ived. I ? ily ? ped the joint in the bag and shoved ? ? here where it wouldn't be vie, a? urne? ound? ? som? tremely irritating old guy (? of like the? ? ork with on the Gala), and he was seated one? k back, three desks down (the 2 ? to ? ere recessed, the third one was sticking? like mine, and the ? ? ? ? sed again).
Man! ? dud? ? ouldn't ? e me alone. He kept cackling and talking abo? he most inan? ap, until I ? wanted ? ? tle him.
Finally,? er e? one had arrived, I just coul? tak? ? more. I took the joint out of the ba? hoved the bag in this cabinet above my desk, and stormed? o the back. My building had three entran? ead ? ? sual two, the new one di? ly o? ite the front door. When? ent through the ? ? ? hing in the back looked kind of swam? ? y, in a way you ? see in ? ida. The? as an ho? -to-God Old ? hern? ch on the back of th? ilding, ? ? hed planks complete with? tan rug and rocking chairs. I settled down in a chair to the right of the door a? park? p.
So I? ew away the joint and finish? ? wo c? ettes. Once ? ? done, I sto? p an? hered th? o old people in, and they looked at ? tran? onc? cannabinoid B.O. washed over them. Once they were in this l? , I ? ? ide, only to find th? ritating old? ? ? bag of pot in hand, examining it closely.
It was the early part of the day, a good half-hour before anyon? ually showed up, so ? arted to roll a joint in preparation? a "ciga? e" break. I was ? about done with it when I got a? ? ? ise: a c? ker had ? ? ived. I ? ily ? ped the joint in the bag and shoved ? ? here where it wouldn't be vie, a? urne? ound? ? som? tremely irritating old guy (? of like the? ? ork with on the Gala), and he was seated one? k back, three desks down (the 2 ? to ? ere recessed, the third one was sticking? like mine, and the ? ? ? ? sed again).
Man! ? dud? ? ouldn't ? e me alone. He kept cackling and talking abo? he most inan? ap, until I ? wanted ? ? tle him.
Finally,? er e? one had arrived, I just coul? tak? ? more. I took the joint out of the ba? hoved the bag in this cabinet above my desk, and stormed? o the back. My building had three entran? ead ? ? sual two, the new one di? ly o? ite the front door. When? ent through the ? ? ? hing in the back looked kind of swam? ? y, in a way you ? see in ? ida. The? as an ho? -to-God Old ? hern? ch on the back of th? ilding, ? ? hed planks complete with? tan rug and rocking chairs. I settled down in a chair to the right of the door a? park? p.
So I? ew away the joint and finish? ? wo c? ettes. Once ? ? done, I sto? p an? hered th? o old people in, and they looked at ? tran? onc? cannabinoid B.O. washed over them. Once they were in this l? , I ? ? ide, only to find th? ritating old? ? ? bag of pot in hand, examining it closely.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 1:44 PM
Last n? ? weird. I di? dream at al? ring the night, ? ly b? se I? t waking up ? ut more ? ? on ? attoo, but a? the sun cam? and? ? ? rying to? etch my night of sleep, ? arte? eaming like ? y. I'd only p for an? ? ? ime and drea? ring that hour, whic? rikes me as ? ual-? hought R? ? took a full 90 ? tes to get into.
? ay, I can on? emember ? s, and only two dreams a? trong enough? me ? emember--the? st one a? he last one.
1) I'm in sort of this castle wi? his of geeky-lookin? y who's all ? sed up in military g? . We're looking down a broad sto? ? case that has a landing ? he bottom before? cending again in the? ? e di? ion. He's telling me about a? his stuff we're fighting--to? ch out f? hem because even though ? look like children,y ca? ow and grow and become i? sible to kill. They've c? red ? nch of humans on the? er level, and we? e to? the? t.
So fine, I go down the stairs, hugging the wall that divid? ? wo levels of stairs, only to? e him hiss at me, "No! Get over!? 're ? osed to be o? o thght!" when I see? mall shadow ? he f? all ? he landing. A little? l's shadow. So I? t off to the right, against the opposite wall of the stairway, a? ait. The shadow ? bigger and ? er, until a ? le blonde girl in a pink dre? ? the? ner ? he landing. Her ? is all boun? in pink? . She holds out ? weird-looking gun and just points i? random, sending off? ange, pink-c? ? aps of energy. One narrowly ? es me, and I can almost feel my ? h sizzle. Then I realize that the la? hing she'll expect is for me to run ? ? ds her, so I start doing tha? igzaggin? ery so often to dodge a zap. I manage to? right behind her while she's distracted? h th? her guy, when all of? udden, her flesh goes al? ? , and she doubles in? e.
While she ? s, I snatch her funn? ? ay from her and zap her. The grainy ? ure of her flesh? t absorb? , and she's ok. ? y again when she? olid, an? ? s! She goes down. So my buddy and I turn the? ner and run downstairs--? to be c? onted wi? wo more copies of the same little girl. ? 're both holding a head, and hol? ? in front of them, a? ou c? ? hat more people are ? ing from the heane of them becom? his ? t little? ican? ? y and I imme? ely ? on his back? ying my hardest to choke the lif? t of him. I mean, I'm re? trying. Like, I can feel the? ? e walls of h? ? ipe rubbing against each other. ? still ok. I'm getting angrier and angrier, givi? p on? angling and going for the ne? ? ing, which also ? n't seem to work. I ? t his he? his way and ? ? ? as it'll go, and nothing happens.
2) I'm in Ro? ter, and in ? ? ses for Tower A in m? eam, which m? that the entire building looks like the? ? here? tayed in Ormond Beac? er C? ? . I'? tsid? ? ing,? ching the sky change colors ? ? unse? hen I hear a road lo? ? left. I see two fig? planes silh? ted against the oran? ink sky, and the? dden? hey turn to their right, headed towards me. Thei? selages ? h in the dyi? unlight, and I notice th? hey're made from a diffe? ? al and diffe? ? hape? ? he ones ? ? eal world. They ? ly head ? ? ? ? ectiparallel to the railing I'm leaning on, and I watch them go by, when suddenly they both turn to their right again, engage their ? ? s with a huge whoompf, and hover ? ? ? ? he f? window ? ? oom ? to me a? ? oom ? to ? one. I frea? t an? n into my ro? ntil I hear the ? go ? ? />
Onc? starts to fade,? un outside a? ? ? lane? llin? ay a? aking off toward the end of the hote? o I run all the way ? he end of the corridor and lean out ? the railing, managi? o make o? he jets through the ? ? ? in ? hug? trange c? ? ion, silhouetted aga? the sunset itself. One ? es, while one comes back, and I can see and ? all the oth? tudents ? he hotel panicking. ? n back down the ? ? , feeling like I? rying to? run ? ? when I feel? ange and then re? e I'm on a diffe? floor and I can see grass outside on a level wi? he f? I'm on.? low down, and wo? , ? like I tele? ed or vaulted a railing ? ? hing. An? , I deci? ? ? hat asid? un down the end ? hat walk? ? he corner of the building, find a door, and run insi? here the? ? ? case? t there's th? all,? ng, black man who seems to know me.
H? ? to ask ? ? ion afte? estion, ? ting? h, "Ah, how are you doing, J? ?" I'm like, I'm fin? t I don't kn? ? ou are and I? ? un. But he k? asking afte? uff ? politel? ntil he ? me ? ? hink of the Waterwheat Mill inci? . I'm perplexed;? er heard of it b? e. H? ddenly l? ? ? set and ? , "B? hat ? ? he f? er jets are here! They are looking for you!" The second I pro? thi? ? trange feeling I felt when I? ed from the ? h to the? st f? s comes ? me again and I wake up.
Urgh? nec? rts. That's ? I get f? rying to mak? re I sleep all n? ? ? smearing "morganisms" into ? at.
I? ive and park my car righ? the? rance to the stairwe? p to my front door. I go in and noodle around, e? y fallin? ? ? a few h? . When I wak? ? 's n? time, an? ? th f? ? ? rang? eall? mb and it feels like I just had oral? ? or something. I? ug it off, f? ing I'll? ove? eventually, and wal? t to my livi? oom and then to the sliding ? s leading to the lanai and look out.
The layout of the complex has changed, and my ca? n't ? e an? e. Instead o? ? being a dead end, i? ? ? horoughfare, and my dad's ol? uck ? itti? here my car used to be. For some reason, I keep thinking of some black car as being mine? tead of ? hite one. I ? of freak, grab my keys, and head do? ? , findin? t that in this new l? t, once I'm down the stairs, I'm around the corner of th? ilding and have ? urn to my right ? ee m? ace, making it inconvenient.? alk ? o th? uck and examine it, scanning my parking lot for my black? . No sign of it ? ? . Kind of pissed off? ? /><>So I walk down the sidewalk, findin? t where the new parking lot leads. I go down the length of my side of th? ilding, and turn right, ? to find? that the lot re? is a dead end a? all--this i? st a? tle ? sy area with som? range-looking boxes ? een two buildings and leading to? hird one. I take my ? ? and kee? essi? he "unlock" ? on o? remote,? ing I'll fin? ? ? h the flashing headl? s. I go ? t 20 feet before? eali? ? hing? rong, and I look at my keyring--? . The key to my car is gone. By ? point, I've? ? ed a habit of workin? ? s re? ? d when I? ense, be? ? ? th i? ? num? t I can feel som? range se? ion when I do that. So I? ? ing to get mad a? ealizing tha? ? her is behind all of this--he's the ? one who? that ol? uck and has acce? ? ? ? />
I find th? trange, cobalt-c? ed c? ? ion and imme? ely resolve to buy it--a? I find my car. I ke? ? ing ? ? e, and e? ually find it. It's no longer black--it is now a bright forest-green Crown Victoria. "WTF!" ? claim. It's up on a ? lay rack and I c? ? it down, and this i? ? oo much for me. ? orm back to my a? ? where my (a? entl? oommate ? aiting for me on the? ch, ? ing hot cocoer face ? tran? ? like, all angular cheekb? and del? ely tapered nose and chi? ith bright green eyes and gi? y hair.
"? ? p?" she ? ? />
"I'm getting re? issed!" I de? e. "I'm ? ing ? ouch? ? dad and? ing him ? ? !"
"But how?" she asks.
I turn to the ? anging on the wall behind me? 's a big, rectangular mi? in a somewh? lain gol? ame. "Dad!" I yell a? . "Dad! Dad! DAD!"
? ? eflection, I can see my roommate wincing. "What's yo? roblem?" I ask as I turn around to look at her.
"Maybe saying 'Mi? , mi? on the wall' would work? ter," she sa? arcastic? . I get the feeling she thinks I'm nuts--and then she gasps.? urn ? nd a? here's my fa? 's face ? he mirror looking back at me. "Heeeey, J? ! Wh? up?? />
"Da? hat the hell is going on? What happened to my car? W? ened to my mouth? Wh? ? ? uck here?"
He? ckles and says, "Son, I've g? ? hing gre? o te? ou! You're an ucu."
"...The hell's an? ?"
"It's a kind of reptile. That was why the oral? ? --yo? eal ? ? ? owing in, and we had to pull all of ? reg? teeth out. ? ? d a car ? properly be? a brand? race! What ? ? hink?"
I'm so? nned I c? eve? eak. I can only ? l.
--------------------------------------? />
This was the first dream in? hile that in? ? ? o ma? hing? om my real life. "Ucus" are ? ? the sta? ? rrency in Netephenson's The Diamond Age, which I'm reading now. T? epti? hing cam? om a game of? abble I ? ? ith some old folks last night. The c? hing cam? ? ? ossible upcoming? paint job o? ? . The shop, I don't ? whe? he hell it came from? />
Before anyone asks, no, I d? do drug? ? ? thing before I go to bed.
? ay, I can on? emember ? s, and only two dreams a? trong enough? me ? emember--the? st one a? he last one.
1) I'm in sort of this castle wi? his of geeky-lookin? y who's all ? sed up in military g? . We're looking down a broad sto? ? case that has a landing ? he bottom before? cending again in the? ? e di? ion. He's telling me about a? his stuff we're fighting--to? ch out f? hem because even though ? look like children,y ca? ow and grow and become i? sible to kill. They've c? red ? nch of humans on the? er level, and we? e to? the? t.
So fine, I go down the stairs, hugging the wall that divid? ? wo levels of stairs, only to? e him hiss at me, "No! Get over!? 're ? osed to be o? o thght!" when I see? mall shadow ? he f? all ? he landing. A little? l's shadow. So I? t off to the right, against the opposite wall of the stairway, a? ait. The shadow ? bigger and ? er, until a ? le blonde girl in a pink dre? ? the? ner ? he landing. Her ? is all boun? in pink? . She holds out ? weird-looking gun and just points i? random, sending off? ange, pink-c? ? aps of energy. One narrowly ? es me, and I can almost feel my ? h sizzle. Then I realize that the la? hing she'll expect is for me to run ? ? ds her, so I start doing tha? igzaggin? ery so often to dodge a zap. I manage to? right behind her while she's distracted? h th? her guy, when all of? udden, her flesh goes al? ? , and she doubles in? e.
While she ? s, I snatch her funn? ? ay from her and zap her. The grainy ? ure of her flesh? t absorb? , and she's ok. ? y again when she? olid, an? ? s! She goes down. So my buddy and I turn the? ner and run downstairs--? to be c? onted wi? wo more copies of the same little girl. ? 're both holding a head, and hol? ? in front of them, a? ou c? ? hat more people are ? ing from the heane of them becom? his ? t little? ican? ? y and I imme? ely ? on his back? ying my hardest to choke the lif? t of him. I mean, I'm re? trying. Like, I can feel the? ? e walls of h? ? ipe rubbing against each other. ? still ok. I'm getting angrier and angrier, givi? p on? angling and going for the ne? ? ing, which also ? n't seem to work. I ? t his he? his way and ? ? ? as it'll go, and nothing happens.
2) I'm in Ro? ter, and in ? ? ses for Tower A in m? eam, which m? that the entire building looks like the? ? here? tayed in Ormond Beac? er C? ? . I'? tsid? ? ing,? ching the sky change colors ? ? unse? hen I hear a road lo? ? left. I see two fig? planes silh? ted against the oran? ink sky, and the? dden? hey turn to their right, headed towards me. Thei? selages ? h in the dyi? unlight, and I notice th? hey're made from a diffe? ? al and diffe? ? hape? ? he ones ? ? eal world. They ? ly head ? ? ? ? ectiparallel to the railing I'm leaning on, and I watch them go by, when suddenly they both turn to their right again, engage their ? ? s with a huge whoompf, and hover ? ? ? ? he f? window ? ? oom ? to me a? ? oom ? to ? one. I frea? t an? n into my ro? ntil I hear the ? go ? ? />
Onc? starts to fade,? un outside a? ? ? lane? llin? ay a? aking off toward the end of the hote? o I run all the way ? he end of the corridor and lean out ? the railing, managi? o make o? he jets through the ? ? ? in ? hug? trange c? ? ion, silhouetted aga? the sunset itself. One ? es, while one comes back, and I can see and ? all the oth? tudents ? he hotel panicking. ? n back down the ? ? , feeling like I? rying to? run ? ? when I feel? ange and then re? e I'm on a diffe? floor and I can see grass outside on a level wi? he f? I'm on.? low down, and wo? ,
H? ? to ask ? ? ion afte? estion, ? ting? h, "Ah, how are you doing, J? ?" I'm like, I'm fin? t I don't kn? ? ou are and I? ? un. But he k? asking afte? uff ? politel? ntil he ? me ? ? hink of the Waterwheat Mill inci? . I'm perplexed;? er heard of it b? e. H? ddenly l? ? ? set and ? , "B? hat ? ? he f? er jets are here! They are looking for you!" The second I pro? thi? ? trange feeling I felt when I? ed from the ? h to the? st f? s comes ? me again and I wake up.
Urgh? nec? rts. That's ? I get f? rying to mak? re I sleep all n? ? ? smearing "morganisms" into ? at.
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Ja? y 21, 2006
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So. To the best o? memory, it ? ts a? apartment.I? ive and park my car righ? the? rance to the stairwe? p to my front door. I go in and noodle around, e? y fallin? ? ? a few h? . When I wak? ? 's n? time, an? ? th f? ? ? rang? eall? mb and it feels like I just had oral? ? or something. I? ug it off, f? ing I'll? ove? eventually, and wal? t to my livi? oom and then to the sliding ? s leading to the lanai and look out.
The layout of the complex has changed, and my ca? n't ? e an? e. Instead o? ? being a dead end, i? ? ? horoughfare, and my dad's ol? uck ? itti? here my car used to be. For some reason, I keep thinking of some black car as being mine? tead of ? hite one. I ? of freak, grab my keys, and head do? ? , findin? t that in this new l? t, once I'm down the stairs, I'm around the corner of th? ilding and have ? urn to my right ? ee m? ace, making it inconvenient.? alk ? o th? uck and examine it, scanning my parking lot for my black? . No sign of it ? ? . Kind of pissed off? ? /><>So I walk down the sidewalk, findin? t where the new parking lot leads. I go down the length of my side of th? ilding, and turn right, ? to find? that the lot re? is a dead end a? all--this i? st a? tle ? sy area with som? range-looking boxes ? een two buildings and leading to? hird one. I take my ? ? and kee? essi? he "unlock" ? on o? remote,? ing I'll fin? ? ? h the flashing headl? s. I go ? t 20 feet before? eali? ? hing? rong, and I look at my keyring--? . The key to my car is gone. By ? point, I've? ? ed a habit of workin? ? s re? ? d when I? ense, be? ? ? th i? ? num? t I can feel som? range se? ion when I do that. So I? ? ing to get mad a? ealizing tha? ? her is behind all of this--he's the ? one who? that ol? uck and has acce? ? ? ? />
I find th? trange, cobalt-c? ed c? ? ion and imme? ely resolve to buy it--a? I find my car. I ke? ? ing ? ? e, and e? ually find it. It's no longer black--it is now a bright forest-green Crown Victoria. "WTF!" ? claim. It's up on a ? lay rack and I c? ? it down, and this i? ? oo much for me. ? orm back to my a? ? where my (a? entl? oommate ? aiting for me on the? ch, ? ing hot cocoer face ? tran? ? like, all angular cheekb? and del? ely tapered nose and chi? ith bright green eyes and gi? y hair.
"? ? p?" she ? ? />
"I'm getting re? issed!" I de? e. "I'm ? ing ? ouch? ? dad and? ing him ? ? !"
"But how?" she asks.
I turn to the ? anging on the wall behind me? 's a big, rectangular mi? in a somewh? lain gol? ame. "Dad!" I yell a? . "Dad! Dad! DAD!"
? ? eflection, I can see my roommate wincing. "What's yo? roblem?" I ask as I turn around to look at her.
"Maybe saying 'Mi? , mi? on the wall' would work? ter," she sa? arcastic? . I get the feeling she thinks I'm nuts--and then she gasps.? urn ? nd a? here's my fa? 's face ? he mirror looking back at me. "Heeeey, J? ! Wh? up?? />
"Da? hat the hell is going on? What happened to my car? W? ened to my mouth? Wh? ? ? uck here?"
He? ckles and says, "Son, I've g? ? hing gre? o te? ou! You're an ucu."
"...The hell's an? ?"
"It's a kind of reptile. That was why the oral? ? --yo? eal ? ? ? owing in, and we had to pull all of ? reg? teeth out. ? ? d a car ? properly be? a brand? race! What ? ? hink?"
I'm so? nned I c? eve? eak. I can only ? l.
--------------------------------------? />
This was the first dream in? hile that in? ? ? o ma? hing? om my real life. "Ucus" are ? ? the sta? ? rrency in Netephenson's The Diamond Age, which I'm reading now. T? epti? hing cam? om a game of? abble I ? ? ith some old folks last night. The c? hing cam? ? ? ossible upcoming? paint job o? ? . The shop, I don't ? whe? he hell it came from? />
Before anyone asks, no, I d? do drug? ? ? thing before I go to bed.
1:42 PM 0 Comm? ? an>
? an c? ? em-c? ol blog-admin pid-241070731">![?]()
? ary 17, 2006
An? ? memory of last ? ? ? h me in grad school.? ? ? chool. I'm in the "grad school library"...which looks a lot like my high school ? ary,? h the la? ? sed up a? tle bit...and I ? o a shelf and pick out a big, thick book? had? ery specific? le, but all I can remember is "....LOVE vol. 1." It was likee Hi? y of? ? ith the ? ? eal big ? ? pine? t I don't rememb? he e? ? le. ? ay, ? t the book down on a table, sit down? ? ome notebook? er, and jot down some very detailed notes--I'm looking at chapter 19, and the notes are ? technical, in neat black fe? ip h? riti? hat ? n't look like mit all. I win? chatting wi? his cute? l ac? the table, and it a? t reaches the point of f? ation wh? his ? com? p to me and ? excitedly, ? alia? t moved into a house? n th? ? ! There's a bunch of kid? ? he old days heading ? there a? ? ime!? />
Oo, cool, b? he mood with the? ? bro Oh well. So? eshelve the book and lea? he library. ? atch? ? 's just ? ? ? ime, so ? ab my car and head o? o fi? ? lace to eat. I'm in a neighborho? hat looks like Spring Hill, ? he east side of Mariner, and? hink to myself, ? hould fi? he next ? ? ? and take th? o Mariner," and the ? one? p, and I loo? the? eet sign? />
It ? "Zero Drive." This is odd but in th? eam, it'? st fine. So I to? hat ? ? ? ? outh and? ves ? ? o the west and it leads right into a? king? that feeds into a c? ete walk? ough the woods. So I? ? ? and take the sidewalk, and before long, it ? ? ough the woods and c? ? ? o a big open, mounta? ? ace. It's al? ? alking bridge, but has n? ? t. It go? eally hi? ? ? alk, and I c? ? ort of i? trial facili? on the mountain to my left, and the? a b? alley underneath my ? ? h what l? something like a railyard, and the main white building dire? erneath me h? ? hing painted on its roof that looks like "UP? "SOS" or something like that.
This is the mo? where I? ice ? there is no wal? under my feet. ? eak out for a second, when I realize tha? ? till there, ? ? isible. So I sta? p and ke? alking into the sky, kneeling down e? so often to see if I can te? here the wal? 's going to ? e next by feel. After a while, it becomes visible an? ? ? n to this pa? hat seems to be ? my car, and I c? ? hat the path con? ? ? ? hat looks like a flat plaster gorilla head and, ? before it, ? looks like the lla'? shole. A? ently, I? e to cra? ? ? he asshole a? alk through the ? h, but I decide against the ? t and go ahe? ith the second. ? oon as I? ? gh, ? buildin? ? s ahead of m? ith a big black and blue sign saying "MIRROR MAZE."
So I ? g and go in. The? ? ? ? are rinky-dink and pathetic, with a? ? ? standin? ound and bla? ? ? ? ing covering the walls. ? oon as I? ? ? he f? two rooms, I'm ? ? hird room and no? ? are? ible. Instead, I think, ? ? his room is ? ell-done that I can't see the mi? ? all? all loo? eal," so I lie down ? he f? ? ying to reac? t with all o? lim? o see if I can feel the ? ors, only to? plastic sheeting and re? e that I've made a fool of myself for someone else. So I? up,? sh myself off, a? ush through the ? at the end ? ? oom, only to emerge into this annex ? ome building on the ? us I left earlier. I wal? t of the building an? ? right a? ? he old D/HH ? sroo? om high school, so I drop in and talk to San? on, one of my old in? reters. Don't rememb? hat ? alked about,? when I ? , I ? ed into Biser, my adviso? om RIT.
S? lugging this tan leathe? mchair, and look? me kind of sadly, like she ? s me doe? ? ect ? o ta? o her. But I? , "H? hat's the de? ith the chair?" She perk? and? s, "I'm broke--I? e no money at home. I had to? ? my CAP. I broug? his chair so I could? it in my office and write it of? ? ork-related expense." "Whoa," I say.? e yo? ? here? oom ? our office?" "Yeah,"? ponds, "I cleane? a lot of th? ap in there,? rid of ? of my b? and one of my d? , so the? plenty ? oom.? that point, she starts hauling it away on her own.
A? t too late, I think of o? ing to help her with the chair, so I grab the door into the ? building and offer to help out. She's grateful, and we fit it into her office, which looks exactly like? real one, only a lot cleaner and lighter. Once I'm out ? here, I look? n the hallway and see th? nch ? eople who were going to Natalia's house, and che? he clock, on? o re? ? ? ch must have been an? r fast and it's now lunchtime? />
I leave the building, a? uddenly can see all the way down the? eet. The? ition of the group of people? aw i? actly the same; ? the scene h? ? ? o a street lined? h ho? . I ? t to hea? ? here? t see a maro? an headi? ? ds me.
forever to? e. Geesh.
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? p;
January 2, 2006
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S? starts off with? hole bunch o? that includes Kim, Kelly, and Joey, my high school friend. ? ? ? her ? le, of c? ? hat I could iden? at the time? t which I have now forgotten? /><>We're all on this island th? Bra? on, something like one of th? bai artificial islands, and Sin ? all in one. So we all decide to go downtown and chill for a while. We all go in? ? e cars a? tuff, and me? p do? here, on? o meet a hooker who imme? ely latches ? o Joey. She invites us all down to her brothel, whic? st opened for the night, we can chill there for a while and enjoy the si? . We all? ee, and head? n, only to find the place more or less bare. The? ? on of pa? ? ? h ta? in them and? ff b? hat's more or less it--it's dimly li? ? ? are? k teal, the tile floor is somewh? ? y, a? he bar is populated ? ? ? ? and one of her ? s.So the who? ? Joey that i? der to do anything, he h? o be? ? ed" ? ? ? ? in official pro? re. I'm shocked because ? is so completely ag? t Joey in real life ? I'm amazed ? my brai? n't exploding. But hes ahead and? appears into the back wi? ? hore, while the ? of us just chil? t in the main room. Sudd? the procure? ? ? ? hands a? ays, "I ? ? ? his!" an? ns out. The ? is appalled, an? ses ? hat to do, and decid? o na? s the new Board of T? ees for the ? hel.
? e li? p a few tabl? o make one long one, and I am somehow instantaneously voted Chairman? , okay. So I sta? p, a? ay, "Oka? he f? item on the agenda ? his: should we keep our merchandise (includi? he handmade fur ? s that o? hore? t together in their ? e time) and ? ? ? ensive, ? hould we? er o? rices tow more custo? ? eally loud, whic? rprises the two new hookers ? ? e taken ? esidence behind the bar because I've bee? iet so far. Anyhow, the point I brin? is hotly co? ted; everyone has something ? ay, and I call on people by numbers: "Okay, one," the first one spea? ? hen "two," a? ? econd person speaks, and so on. I ge? to five before I notice that some are getting f? rated be? e I haven't called on th? et, so I start doing that. Kim has a? ? larly good economic point to bri? p, involving the effect of o? rices on the neighborhoo? othels a? he cost ompetition. ? ? ng k? ? left makes a point ? ? ? ing capital, and he looks too young to be here.
In the meantime, the ? who? igne? all to the ? ? looking slightly discom? lated. "? ? rong," I ask him. He? ? something a? this not being the way busi? is done, so to ? him up, I give him the bus ? e map fo? adenton and exclaim, "Look! You can get here from th? posi? ide ? own!" and his ja? ops and ? nfol? ? hole thing and m? awa? taring a? ? />
"It ? n't ? er if you're 'al? ' 21 or running the plac? ? e not allowed in? e. OUT!" So we a? ? ? , while I ma? ure to complain as loudl? ? sible thobody told M? ? a 21+ club. Joe? still nowhere in sight, so I he? o Kim's car with? and Kelly, ? ing ? her car ? e a woma? standin? ? h the car door open, and the? ? ting in the ? ? seat has his head buried somewhere inside her d? . We giggle obscenely, and move on.
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December 27, 2005<
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? ? ? ? the? t couple of nights, ? ly involving me being in places ? e I ough? to be.
The n? before, the who? hing? about me and Joey (old high school ? friend) sneaking in? his big departme? tore (like a combination of Bloomingdale's and Wal-Mart) and? t screwing around wi? he merchandise, like playing? h scooters a? tuff? ? n't long before ? arted to? , hey, maybe thi? n't righ? e shouldn't be here. And Joe? ? t comple? different, care? and confident, totally sure we woul? ? ? ght and ? we ? y right to d? . Odd.
Then last night wa? st dream? er dream? er dream, all somehow connecting and? ? ining with each other in? ange, illogical ? . I can't rememb? he o? ? t the general im? sions were...in a ma? ? ame way ? he dream above, ? ing with store displays...being ? ide the ? ? ith ? nch of c? ? who? e smoking and th? ilding h? omeh? ? ted a vine-c? ? rellis f? ing ? ? r head and an abandoned trai? nnel on the side whe? eople congregated to talk about me behin? back...and then the? angest one by far.
I was at RIT, in m? n do? oom, whi? as huge but solely o? ied by me. I suddenly noticed th? here? one? e do? han ? e should be (thanks ? este? 's j? to my cousins') and opened it into an extra? hroom. I? ove? ed b? ? his was ? ? e bathroom instead of the shared one? er A roo? sually have,? kind of? sed because it looked li? he last ? ? ? ? didn't ? h for several mo? --the water ? he bowl was ? n and gelati? . So I flushed, and looked around. It was kind of small, and had? es, like an attic room, and was painted a moldy ? y-rose c? . I noticed an opening in the wall behind the to? , where ? e was anothe? ace,s one unlit,? ? t of the con? e floor was visible ? he l? coming in from the bathroom. I could see a big ? ? ddle? though it had just leaked out of the to? , al? ? ching a ? e alarm clock of the? ? uall? ed by de? eople.
I shuddered and went back into my room--where ? e was this one odd-looking fello? tanding ? he middle of the floor.
"Whoa," I said. "How the hell? ou get in here?" He pointed behind me, and I? ned and saw through the open door of the? hroom th? here? ? ano? door that I hadn't seen, di? ly o? ite the toilet, and ? as o? ough it was ? her dorm roo? ith a younge? y looking similar to the? in ? oom.? ? orely di? ? ? o fi? his out; I'd been hoping tha? 'd be all mine, when suddenly the first guy come? behind me a? ? ? oping me like mad. I freak out and am like "WTF?" He mum? something, and ? ? o the younge? y.
"Is he? or something??" I ask.
"? ," he nods.
"Well? him off me!" He? ugs. I finally f? the? off and shake my head, when? ? et another door ? he far end of their dorm room, and go throug? , on? o emerge? o a ? ? ? here the? ? on of people from RI? st mng around. I find a few ? le a? alk ? hem, avoidin? . Handy by keepi? hings in front o? crotch and moving a? ickl? I can, and I am almost back to the original doo? when I see someone else is in a sim? ? uation as I was ? mom? before--this vaguely familiar gay black? is bein? and enjoying it, onl? 's being done to him by a black girl who loo? aguely like ? talker.
"WTF??" I thi? ? self, and manage to escape into ? oom alone, only to find some? ng k? here bringing in? es o? uff. "Who the hell a? ou?" I cry, and he doesn't answer, bust then Danica Rice walks in with another kid in hand. "What's going on, fo? ying? ? d?" I in? . Sh? plai? hat RIT has assigned 4 freshmen to my room d? ? ace ? es.
A? hat'? . God help me.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 1:41 PM&? ;0 Comments
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December 11, 2005
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Ahh...I dreamed ? apload last night, just like the night b? e. B? his ? nig? as....wow.
There were other dreams in? ing a gay Ch? e man with a beautiful but overflowing b? ub, and ?
The n? before, the who? hing? about me and Joey (old high school ? friend) sneaking in? his big departme? tore (like a combination of Bloomingdale's and Wal-Mart) and? t screwing around wi? he merchandise, like playing? h scooters a? tuff? ? n't long before ? arted to? , hey, maybe thi? n't righ? e shouldn't be here. And Joe? ? t comple? different, care? and confident, totally sure we woul? ? ? ght and ? we ? y right to d? . Odd.
Then last night wa? st dream? er dream? er dream, all somehow connecting and? ? ining with each other in? ange, illogical ? . I can't rememb? he o? ? t the general im? sions were...in a ma? ? ame way ? he dream above, ? ing with store displays...being ? ide the ? ? ith ? nch of c? ? who? e smoking and th? ilding h? omeh? ? ted a vine-c? ? rellis f? ing ? ? r head and an abandoned trai? nnel on the side whe? eople congregated to talk about me behin? back...and then the? angest one by far.
I was at RIT, in m? n do? oom, whi? as huge but solely o? ied by me. I suddenly noticed th? here? one? e do? han ? e should be (thanks ? este? 's j? to my cousins') and opened it into an extra? hroom. I? ove? ed b? ? his was ? ? e bathroom instead of the shared one? er A roo? sually have,? kind of? sed because it looked li? he last ? ? ? ? didn't ? h for several mo? --the water ? he bowl was ? n and gelati? . So I flushed, and looked around. It was kind of small, and had? es, like an attic room, and was painted a moldy ? y-rose c? . I noticed an opening in the wall behind the to? , where ? e was anothe? ace,s one unlit,? ? t of the con? e floor was visible ? he l? coming in from the bathroom. I could see a big ? ? ddle? though it had just leaked out of the to? , al? ? ching a ? e alarm clock of the? ? uall? ed by de? eople.
I shuddered and went back into my room--where ? e was this one odd-looking fello? tanding ? he middle of the floor.
"Whoa," I said. "How the hell? ou get in here?" He pointed behind me, and I? ned and saw through the open door of the? hroom th? here? ? ano? door that I hadn't seen, di? ly o? ite the toilet, and ? as o? ough it was ? her dorm roo? ith a younge? y looking similar to the? in ? oom.? ? orely di? ? ? o fi? his out; I'd been hoping tha? 'd be all mine, when suddenly the first guy come? behind me a? ? ? oping me like mad. I freak out and am like "WTF?" He mum? something, and ? ? o the younge? y.
"Is he? or something??" I ask.
"? ," he nods.
"Well? him off me!" He? ugs. I finally f? the? off and shake my head, when? ? et another door ? he far end of their dorm room, and go throug? , on? o emerge? o a ? ? ? here the? ? on of people from RI? st mng around. I find a few ? le a? alk ? hem, avoidin? . Handy by keepi? hings in front o? crotch and moving a? ickl? I can, and I am almost back to the original doo? when I see someone else is in a sim? ? uation as I was ? mom? before--this vaguely familiar gay black? is bein? and enjoying it, onl? 's being done to him by a black girl who loo? aguely like ? talker.
"WTF??" I thi? ? self, and manage to escape into ? oom alone, only to find some? ng k? here bringing in? es o? uff. "Who the hell a? ou?" I cry, and he doesn't answer, bust then Danica Rice walks in with another kid in hand. "What's going on, fo? ying? ? d?" I in? . Sh? plai? hat RIT has assigned 4 freshmen to my room d? ? ace ? es.
A? hat'? . God help me.
? class="byline">? ed b? gh VanDerGoetz ? p;# 1:41 PM&? ;0 Comments
December 11, 2005
? class="blog? ">There were other dreams in? ing a gay Ch? e man with a beautiful but overflowing b? ub, and ?